Oh, Canada

Last week I told you about my new man, Manitoba Manny, and even I'll admit, this whole thing doesn't really sound like me.  I know what you were thinking: "Wow, Grayer's getting a bit desperate" and/or "Surely, this must be an April fools joke".  Rest assured my friend, this is a true story.  It's just not my true story.

This is the story of Conrad's roommate, Randall, a good looking guy in his early twenties, a social butterfly that's currently getting his masters.  There is no plausible explanation as to why he met a Canadian girl while playing online Scrabble and decided to date her.  He has not met her.  He hasn't even video chatted with her.  They've been dating for over a year.

It's a guarantee that if Randall is not otherwise detained by school responsibilities he will be talking on the phone to this girl.   They watch TV shows "together" while talking on the phone.  He uses the restroom while talking on the phone.  They fight over they phone (she gets jealous easily). I'm pretty sure they masturbate while talking on the phone. It's quite an intimate relationship.  Except for the fact that they've never set eyes on each other.

They've tried to meet.  He can't go there because she's living at home.  She has made plans to visit him multiple times.  Once, she even bought her plane tickets, then cancelled last minute for some reason.  I'd like to think this is because she isn't who she says she is.  Perhaps she's old enough to be his mother.  Perhaps she's married.  Perhaps she's not a woman, or at least not yet.  She has to be refusing to buy a web cam for a reason.

Last time I saw him, we all just about threw money on the table to help him buy a plane ticket and a hotel room.  He also kept coming on to me so strongly that I was getting freaked out (Hey, Conrad, please stand in between us).  He could blame it on the alcohol, but really he needs to blame it on the sexual frustration.  Talk about a girlfriend that won't put out, that kid can't even get a hand job.

It's kind of funny, it's also sad, but really it's just down right baffling. Why does a guy date a girl he's never met when he could just as easily date a real-life girl? One he actually knows.  I'm all for meeting people anyway you can (online Scrabble included), but I'm really for actually meeting people.  Aren't you glad this wasn't my true story?

Triple word score

I've become a bit anti-social lately. I blame it on the weather (it is, in fact, currently snowing in Boston). I don't want to do anything on weekends anymore, I mostly want to catch up on my sleep, my crafts, my newest book, my job applications (I need to get the hell away from Boston winters) and ok, my online Scrabble. It's an addiction, online Scrabble that is. Like a game version of Nutella, or... crack (fyi, Nutella is the reason spoons were invented). Seriously, can't stop playing it, partly because I'm so damn competitive, but mostly because of my favorite online opponent.

We started playing back in January. He impressed me with his words, what else? I also particularly liked that we were a good match for each other. Challenging but not unbeatable. I started looking for him every time I got online. Eventually, we started chatting during our games. Turns out, Manitoba Manny, is pretty hilarious (for a Canadian that is) and I had a lot of fun talking to him. He LOLs at my jokes, he totally gets my sarcasm. Pretty soon, we were actually scheduling these cyber-dates, going from Scrabble to Skype. He's a really sweet guy, does some sort of IT work, and according to his pictures, he's really cute. Bearded (obviously). I honestly feel like I talk to him more than anyone else. I feel like I can tell him anything. We've sort of gotten into a routine now, chatting while at work, talking via Skype at home while we eat dinner, we've even watched movies together (and by together, I mean at the same time). It's almost as if we've been dating. Apparently, he's been feeling the same because last night, we had The Conversation. We talked about where things are going between us, particularly when we're going to meet, and by the end of it, it was official! I have an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND!!

I know, I know, it sounds a little...crazy (which is why I haven't mentioned him before now, but now it's official!). But if you knew him, you would totally understand. Manitoba Manny is freaking awesome. I know I'm not physically with him, but I don't want to be with anyone else because of him. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like we'll be meeting anytime to soon (He has lack of funds to come here, I can't go there because he's living with his parents' for the time being, awkward!). But hopefully this summer we can work something out. Hopefully, before that, he'll get a webcam so we can finally talk face to face (kind of). It's funny, I've been looking all over the US for a new job, but suddenly Canada's not looking so bad, eh?