A new slew

Well it's official. I am moving to the CITAYYY! With one job offer today, and another promising interview tomorrow, things are looking up. And it couldn't come soon enough. Seriously, the month of January is awful enough without the added gloom of unemployment. For the past 3 weeks, the highlight of my day has been watching last night's tv on hulu (that's right, unemployed AND no cable!). It can be 2 o'clock in the afternoon before I realize I still haven't put on a bra. Needless to say, I was starting to feel a little desperate.

A job prospect is exciting enough but think of it this way: a new job and a new city means a whole slew of new boys. And oh, how I need new boys. For example, in between my jumping up and down in concentric circles, the big hug from my aunt, and the shrill "Now you'll never have to move back to the parental's house!" squeal of Violet, I got a "Sweet. How much cash?" from Conrad. Ugh. He's such a boy. This comment was followed by, "Aww you're moving away from me." Again, such a boy. Yes Conrad, me excitingly telling you I got my first job offer is all about cash and you. Typical.

I did remind him that I'm only moving an hour away, but I doubt I'll see much of him. It's ok. I need a fresh start. Which is exactly what this move will give me. And as Violet cleverly pointed out to me, this is a college town (We're talking Ivy league, Ladies!) and we all know I love the college boys. Cougar, Out.

Cougar Town?

As we have all gotten a year older in the past few months, some of us (i.e. Violet) are really feeling the pressure. You know the pressure. The pressure to convert to a Smug Married. The pressure to dress your age, start a career, move out of your parents' basement. The pressure to pop out a couple of kids. The pressure to stay in a loveless marriage because you got married out of desperation and peer pressure, yada, yada, yada. To avoid these pressures myself, I'm keeping clear of age-appropriate-financially-stable-yuppies. No, sir. I'm sticking with the youngin's.

As I've mentioned before, Conrad IV is a few years younger than me. When we first started spending time together, he down played the age difference. "It's not even 3 years, it's actually 2 years and..10 months" he would say. Now that he's got me he will take any opportunity to point out how old I am. He even told me his mother was glad he was spending time with an "older and more mature woman." In three years, this will bother me, right now--not so much. So what if he's barely legal. So what if he's still in school and makes no money. So what if the slightest sign of commitment freaks him the hell out. Fine by me!

This, however, is not my first thing for a kid. Last summer, I totally had a thing for an 18-year-old intern. Then there's Emmett, who is still as fine piece of eye-candy as ever (and he's almost 21!). I'm not going to lie, sometimes I ask him to lift things for me or reach things off the upper shelves (and hell yes, I check out his ass). Obviously you can see a trend.

Ok, so maybe I'm a cougar in training, but I can see the appeal. They're hot, young and full of energy. And they don't want commitment. Perfect! Just wait. In three years, when I should be feeling the pressure to conform/move out of my parents basement, I'll be booking my annual cougar cruise.

As sexy as that sounds, maybe the pressure is getting to me. I recently had a dream that my mother kept nagging me to try on a wedding dress. After putting up quite a fight, she finally won and I tried it on. It looked stunning. As Violet and I believe that all dreams have meanings, she thought this meant I wanted to get married (Eeek!). When I asked Conrad what this dream could mean, he said, "You're old and you should seek older men." Thanks, kid. That's the spirit.