Raise your glass

I am still alive. Honest. I realise that it has been some time since I've blogged, I really don't know what happened. Of course, there was the Best. Surprise. EVER. It really was. Then there was the Worst. Week. Back. At. Work. EVER. That was pretty fun too.

But to be honest, there's not many exciting things happening in my life right now. My life has become somewhat non-blogable. (It's a word).

However, lest we forget, THE WEDDING is fast approaching. In fact, it will take place in one week and two days. I really don't know how it came about so quickly. I am mostly prepared - thanks to the internet and online shopping. But there is one thing I am struggling with a little bit.

My Maid of Honour speech.

When Elsa first suggested it I did think it was going to be a piece of cake. I'm not saying I'm the world's greatest public speaker or anything but public speaking and thinking of things to say in (the few) speeches I've given has never really bothered me. I wrote my manager's leaving speech in about 10 minutes and people complemented me on it. This may make me sound conceited but I am well aware of the things in life I'm not good at. And there's quite a few. So I think it's nice to sometimes acknowledge the things I'm half decent at.

Except I'm suffering from writer's block. And I've never been a Maid of Honour before. And I don't know anyone who has does a Maid of Honour speech before. I turned to google but quickly turned off when I found one website on 'how to write the perfect Maid of Honour speech' which was peppered with exclamation marks and chirply informed me to adapt the 3P's strategy:

1. Plan
2. Personalise
3. Practice

I was also told that I want to ensure that my speech is one of the memorable Maid of Honour speeches. No pressure then.

I think I've decided to go down the 'awwwww' route rather than the funny route. That's the job of the Best Man. But I am struggling so any suggestions, jokes or sure fire 'awwwwww' crowd pleasers - answers on a postcard please.

Best. Surprise. EVER.

You're probably wondering why Fenella and I have been so quiet this past week. We've actually been on vacation together. Now you're probably wondering why we didn't mention the vacation beforehand. (Unless you didn't miss us at all, in which case... I'm sad.) The reason we didn't mention it is because Fen didn't know I was going on vacation with her until I showed up at her gate. Yeah, it was pretty bad-ass. I'll tell my half of the story, and then Fen (hopefully) will tell hers.

Several months ago, Fen arranged to visit our third leg, Clem on the West Coast. They both wanted me to join in, and I definitely wanted to join in. The problem: money. As usual. I just didn't know how I could afford it. Fen sent me her itinerary so I could look into her flight and try to get on it, since she was flying through Atlanta. It was way out of my budget. In fact, it cost more than Fen's entire flight from London, which is why I will never understand the airline industry. Why does it cost me so much more to fly within my own country than to fly overseas? I told Fen unless the prices went down, I wouldn't be able to go.

After some thinking, though, I decided that I was really, really going to need a week with two of my favorite people on the planet the first week of July. I knew June would be a bit rough without the cute neighbor, and what better remedy than spending some quality time with Fen and Clem? There is no way I would have survived my time working in South America without them. Even the cute neighbor agreed that the money would be worth it and that I should really spend some time with my friends.

I did some more research and found some slightly cheaper flights, while calculating the frequent flier miles benefits would be worth it. (Free trip to London. Buy one, get one free. I can do that.) I called Clem. We got really excited. Really, really excited. Even more so when I told her I hadn't mentioned it to Fen yet. "Oh my God, we should totally surprise her!" was her reaction. So we did.

For two months, I never mentioned it to Fen, even though I really wanted to. It's hard when you're so excited about something. There were times when I nearly slipped, but I held it together and did a pretty good job of throwing her off completely, like making her promise they would call me at some point, and even sending her a "happy vacation" e-card.

The week of the trip came. Fen emailed me for my phone number in case she had an emergency in Atlanta. By this point, I knew that she and I would be at the airport at the same time, but by the time her flight was supposed to leave, I would already be on my way. (I would not be arriving until after her though, as I had to make a connecting flight. Clem solved this by telling Fen she had to pick up a "friend of a friend" as well, explaining the need to hang out after arrival. Very sneaky.) I sent her my number, but I sent her my roommate's and McNerdy's as well, without explanation. (The key to a good lie is not to explain yourself before asked. Dead giveaway.)

On Friday, I got to the airport in plenty of time and went through security. Then I looked up at the screens to see which gate I needed. And found out my flight was CANCELED. Canceled? How can that be? I assumed that since there was another flight at the same time to the same place they were able to fit everyone on one plane. That was not the case. I frantically searched for someone at the airline counter to help me. Naturally, there was no one in sight. Absolutely no one. Just a lot of angry, frustrated holiday weekend travelers. I picked up my cell phone to call the airline. I won't give away the name of the airline, but I can tell you it starts with a U and ends with a D and has a "nite" in between. I explained the situation with the accented man (probably in India) on the other end. He told me he couldn't get me to where I needed to be that night, but he could get me there tomorrow morning. I told him that wasn't good enough and he needed to keep looking. He put me on hold. He came back 10 minutes later to tell me that there was definitely nothing that night, not even stand-by or on other airlines, but he would be happy to get me there tomorrow at 12:30. Was that ok? I calmly told him that no, that was not ok. If I had wanted to get there Saturday at 12:30 I would have purchased my ticket for Saturday at 12:30 and that he was to keep looking. This went on for another 30 very stressful minutes where I somehow managed not to cry and was preparing myself to go home and be sad on the couch all night, but not before whipping out a sob story about a dying relative.

Then he came back on the line and told me he could get me on another airline that night, arriving an hour and a half before I was originally scheduled to! I almost jumped in the air as I shouted at him: Yes! I want that! DO THAT NOW! As he gave me the flight information I slowly realized... this was Fen's flight. He was putting me on Fen's flight! I thanked him profusely and RAN to the other airline counter to get my boarding pass, which I clutched in my sweaty palms like the winning lottery ticket. By that point, I couldn't contain my excitement. So much so that a pilot asked me on the escalator where I was headed. I was so excited, I blurted out the whole story, about how I was surprising my friend, and my flight was canceled, but now I was on her flight and about to see her, and isn't it SO EXCITING! I pretty much ran the rest of the way to the gate, and there was Fen, sitting next to the desk, reading her magazine.

I ran up to her, waving wildly, and she tried her best to ignore the crazy lady approaching her, until she realized it was me. At which point, she jumped up, both of us squealing and hugging each other.

"What are you doing here?! I'm going to see Clem!"

"I know! I'm going with you!"

"Oh my God! Does Clem know?"

"Of course! We've had this planned for months!"

"Oh my God!"

Or something like that. Then we continued squealing and hugging and laughing for the next several minutes while the people around us pretended not to notice. It got even better: Not only did they put me on Fen's flight, they put me in the seat behind her! All we had to do was ask one guy to switch seats, and we were sitting next to each other on the flight! We made such an impression on everyone with our happiness, that the woman at the gate who took our boarding passes asked if we were done "being bubbly" yet. Nope, this is going to be The Best Week EVER!

And it was. There will be more stories from this trip yet to come, but for now, that was the greatest airport surprise of all time.