Oops...I'm doing it again!

I'm screwed.

Since my random yet highly enjoyable night out with WW last Thursday I've been thinking a lot about him. In fact I haven't thought about much else. Herein lies my problem...

I do this every time. Every time I meet a guy I obsess about what happened and more worryingly, what may happen. NB: I don't do this with random guys I meet in pubs, it's with guys I actually know and there haven't been that many! But it invariably leads to disappointment, embarrassment and with a little bit of regret thrown in for good measure. So after I broke up with Fergus I made a mid-year resolution- no longer was I going to do any chasing, I was going to be a cool, aloof ice queen- they could chase me. No more drunken texts = no more embarrassment. And so far I've been pretty good on this score with WW. I've only text him once asking him to bring me back a snowglobe from Australia (you don't ask, you don't get.) So now it's just the disappointment factor to contend with and I can feel it fast approaching because I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that I might like him, like really like him.

I totally did not see this coming. At all. I was expecting the evening to be a one drink, possibly awkward, affair. Nothing more. When I was skyping with Vi the night before I was due to meet him, I responded with an incredulous 'is he?' when Vi said she thought he was cute.

And then I met him at the station. The first thing I thought when I saw him was 'damn he's cute.' And it went downhill from there. Below is a list of why WW is the nicest guy I've met in a really, really long time.

* He paid for everything, even though I offered. Now I'm all for paying my way but no guy has ever payed for everything the first time we've met up. In fact, I have a cringe worthy recollection of having lunch with Fergus the first time. The lunch cost S/.8 each, that's roughly £2.30, which is roughly $3. He paid his half and then pushed the bill towards me. $3!! Why I didn't see the warning signs then I'll never know.
* He didn't laugh like most guys do when I said that I played soccer when I was a kid and that I wasn't bad at it. He also didn't laugh when I said I've been thinking of taking it up again. In fact, he encouraged me. So much so that he said he was going to call a couple of his friends who run ladies soccer clubs.
*He didn't laugh or mock when I talked about my job. He listened. I work for the UK's largest charity which works towards combating isolation and neglect against older people. Most people don't understand why I work for a charity. They find it even stranger when I get a bit passionate and start quoting statistics at them. He didn't.
* When we were ordering dinner (that he paid for) he ordered pheasant. I said that I had never eaten pheasant. He said that I could try some of his. When the dinner arrived he cut a decent chunk of it and put it on my plate. How many guys share their food?!
* He opened doors for me. I like guys that do that.
* The weather was really bad that night. He switched places with me so that he was watching close to the kerb- thus meaning he was way more likely than me to get splashed with slush and gunk. Then when the wind was getting really bad he insisted I walk behind him so as to protect me from the wind.
*He's a great kisser.

Now maybe these seem like trivial things. Maybe I'm just not used to guys being nice to me. Maybe I'm making mountains out of molehills. But I'm still pretty sure that I like him.

But as I stated before, I think this is all going to end in disappointment. Reasons being:

*He's older than me. 8 years older. This doesn't bother me, I like older men and for all I know it might not bother him. But I'm 23 and he's 31, he might have an issue with it.
* I've no idea of his current 'love life status'. Has he just got out of a serious relationship? Is he casually seeing anyone? Without this information it makes the situation even harder to judge.
* I saw him last week. And he's away for 2 1/2 weeks over New Years. That's along time until the possibility of seeing him again, which means it's a long time for him to forget about me.
*I haven't heard from him since I text him asking him to get me a snowglobe. No contact from a guy who you kissed is never a good sign!

So I'm not feeling too confident, and a big helping of disappointment is not what you want for Christmas!

However, I'm trying to look on the positive side of things. At least I finally have a guy to blog about who isn't my ex. And I may get a snowglobe out of all of this (that sounds a bit dodgy, it's not.) Happy Holidays!

Letting Yourself be Chased

The following comes to us from guest blogger Fenella. Please excuse her British spellings ;)

After analysing my recent break-up from every single angle possible and then every past relationship/potential relationship/I really wish he'd have noticed me non-existent relationship I came to the conclusion that with all the aforementioned I have been the chaser and not the chasee. My chasing hasn't been desperate, pathetic or cringey but I have been the one to make the first move or send the first text. And it's fair to say that method hasn't really worked out for me. So I came to the conclusion that I would no longer do the chasing. From now on I'm going to sit back, relax, be nonchalant and let the guys chase me. However, guys being guys you have to give them something to work with, so obviously I would still have to register my interest with them (hair flicking, meaningful glances, etc.) and give them my number if they ask for it, that sort of thing. But after that, my work would be finished. Then it's up to them to make the first move, send the first text, or buy the first drink...
I put my steely new resolution to the test the other night. My friend and I were out to dinner and I was pleasantly surprised to see a very attractive (Spanish) waiter serving tables near us. Luckily my friend's boyfriend is the manager so my friend knew all the waiting staff including said cute waiter. I thought this would work in my favour, and it did. He came over quite frequently, laughed and joked (flicked my hair) and I even managed to slip into the conversation that I speak a smattering of Spanish. Surely, I thought, I've got him hooked. And when I came back to the bathroom to discover that he'd asked my friend if I was single I was waiting for him to ask for my number. But he didn't. Instead, I was left wondering why he didn't and what had I done wrong and generally feeling pretty despondent and low in the self-esteem department. Which was exactly how I felt when I was the chaser. Which leads me to the conclusion that the only benefit of being the chasee is that you don't embarrass yourself with drunken texts. So now, instead of thinking my new resolution is going to lead me to become a steely ice-queen with the attitude of 'if a guy really wants to call you, he'll call you' I've ended up obsessing why a guy who I thought was clearly interested didn't even ask for my number. You just never can win.
But I'm over the Spanish waiter, he was too short for me anyway.