Introducing the Men of Meetup

I’m probably overdue for an update on my meetup group. I’ve attended 4 meetups so far. The core group of people who have been around since the beginning of the meetup are all really cool. It is great to have something to do for once!

First an update on the two guys that emailed me after the first meetup. The first guy, lets call him McSlick, is part of the core group that started the meetup. McSlick is the fun cool guy…very friendly but I wonder if he might be a bit of a player. He emailed me within a couple of hours of the first meetup to say that he enjoyed meeting me and I should come again. A couple days later he emailed me again and asked if I wanted to go to a movie with some of the people I met. We didn’t end up going to the movie but I’ve seen him at a couple of events since then.

I’m pretty sure the other guy that emailed me after the first meetup was/is interested in me. He seemed really nice but a little boring. However, since then I discovered that he is 13 years older and has 2 kids. (I would have guessed he was only a little more than 5 years older than me.) I admit this makes me somewhat less interested but I haven’t ruled him out entirely. Hmm…I guess we’ll call him the “Old Man” for lack of a better name.

Last weekend we had an event and several new guys came. One of which looked kind of familiar but I couldn’t place him…lets call him the Jerk. He said the same thing to me earlier in the evening. However, as the evening went on, he and several of the other new guys got more and more drunk. At one point the Jerk told his friend I was in love with him and tried to get me to kiss his friend. Later the Jerk comes over to me and boldly declares that I have kissed him before. I of course told him that wasn’t possible. He said some crap like “I can’t believe you don’t remember!” and persisted until I gave up arguing with him and walked away. I know what you might be thinking but the list of guys I’ve kissed is embarrassingly short…I WOULD remember. If this wasn’t enough some of my friends told me that earlier in the evening the Jerk implied that he had slept with me. Complete Fuckwit!! Another one of the new guys hit on me but is was obvious he was just interested in sex.

Anyway, I’m feeling very optimistic about finding new friends but a little disappointed in men.

WWBD: Birthday Edition!!

My cousin (a fellow singleton) turned 30 a couple of months ago. She told me later that she cried after opening her first birthday card. Getting older seems to be more depressing for us singletons than smug marrieds. However we all get older (except for my Grandma who is 39) so we have to accept this and stay strong. You may ask "What would Bridget do on her birthday?" Well here is a step by step guide.

1. Wait "patiently" for a gift/card from her imaginary boyfriend.
2. Check to see if card got misplaced (perhaps under a doormat).
3. Talk to neighbors to see if they mistakenly got her mail.
4. Call an emergency meeting with her singleton friends at a bar to discuss her fuckwit "boyfriend" forgetting her birthday.
5. Get drunk.
6. Declare that she is a woman of substance, complete without boyfriend.
7. Hoorah for Singletons!!
8. Sing "All by myself" on the floor of bathroom while worrying about her spinsterhood rapidly approaching.

Hopefully your birthday ends better than Bridget's this year!! Please follow steps 6 and 7 (and also step 4 if necessary)...your therapist would likely not approve of the other steps.

Seeking a Sugar Daddy? Try craigslist

While perusing craigslist today, I decided to take a break from important stuff (i.e. jobs and apartments) and click on over to the personal ads. And oh my were they good for a laugh.

First up: Discreet for Married Lady, who is a married man, but him and his wife don't have sex anymore, so he is looking for a discreet married woman to fill that void. He expresses his desire not to hurt her or their family, then requests again that she is discreet and DD free. (Bonus points if you can figure out what DD means. Is it slang for STD?)

But don't give up hope in mankind just yet, they're not all married and looking for a discreet affair. Some of them are prostitutes! "Chocolate drop" provides the lusty ladies with some nearly nude photos with the tag line "need to make some cash ASAP," while"looking for white or latina girls" is looking for a prostitute. He mentions that he's looking for "good sex you will enjoy and i even help you out w/ up to $50." He's willing to pay up to $50? Is it just me or does that not seem like an awful lot of money for having sex with a stranger? But then again, I don't know what the going rate is for hookers these days. He also requests that "only serious girls" call. Seriously?

"True Sugar Daddy Type" may be more of what I need. He claims, "you fly, I buy," as well as being open to an "open relationship." Perfect! I can use his credit card while I seek my dream job and dream man.

My advice: Don't use craigslist if what you're looking for is a deep and meaningful relationship.

Question of the Week: Top 5

Who is in your Top 5?

You know what I mean, which 5 celebrities would you be given a pass on (if you were actually in a relationship) and be able to sleep with if given the opportunity and your significant other/spouse couldn't hold it against you?

In order to qualify, the celebrity must be a REAL PERSON (Edward Cullen does not qualify, but Robert Pattinson does) as well as alive- sadly, I had to cross Heath Ledger off my list last year- because unless you're Izzie Stevens, you can't have sex with dead people.

Violet's Top 5 (in no particular order)

• Jake Gyllenhaal
• John Krasinski
• Joe Mauer
• Eddie Cahill
• Ryan Gosling/ James McAvoy

It's not them, it's you

I just read a very interesting article on why we can't find a date.

Sadly, I found a bit too much of myself in this article.

• First and foremost, and that one thing we hear so often in the single world that it has become cliche, is confidence, confidence, confidence. I've always been the confident girl (since I left high school, anyway), but now I've been single so long, I can sense that confidence waning. Nearly a year in South America doesn't exactly help either, where the locals were so obvious I felt like a piece of meat, but the other gringos were only interested in taking advantage of the local girls. Now, I don't exactly strut my stuff with the confidence I once had.
• Case study 1 Outward behavior: Extreme pickiness. I know I'm picky, I've discussed it a few times on this blog (but I'm working on that!) But I know I'm not nearly as picky as the extreme cases Novak discusses here. No, I don't think my soulmate has yet to move out of his parents' basement while still working at the local fast food joint, but I don't care if he drives a fancy car or has a nice house/apartment.
• Case study 2 Outward behavior: Can’t flirt. I don't think I'm completely incompetent in this department, (as I have flirted successfully in the past) but when Novak mentions girls who "talk sports with the bartender" or who responded to come-ons with a "sarcastically nasty comment," it hit a bit too close to home, as these behaviors are "always the girl friend, never the girlfriend." See? I knew my ESPN habit was partially to blame for my singleton status!

Question of the Week: Just friends?

As a single girl who loves the company of male friends, I still don't know the answer to this one.

Is it possible for a single straight woman and a single straight man to be just friends? (No benefits, no sexual tension, no more-than-a-friend feelings)

Nancy Reagan was on to something

We here at WWBD? are committed by putting an end to fuckwittage. Impossible, you say. While I admit that it is an uphill battle, I don't believe it to be impossible. How can we achieve this impossible dream? By saying no to fuckwittage every time it rears it's ugly head.

Of course, this will only work if women everywhere band together and Just Say No. Let me paint for you a picture of fuckwittage being allowed to happen. The scene: New Year's Eve, a Brooklyn bar, which just happens to have bocchi ball lanes, allowing for hours of fun. Sadly, the bocchi lanes have been dominated for quite some time by two complete and utter Fuckwitts. (and yes, that capital F was intentional.) Now I like to trash talk as much as the next guy, but these two jerkwads took it to another level. They made up their own rules, got nearly physical with anyone who dared question these imaginary rules, and even taunted two girls who dared walk on their bocchi lane (during a break in the action, mind you) that they "weren't pretty enough" to be invading their space.

So naturally, their best chance of scoring would be if they woke up next to each other, with a wicked hangover, shouting things like WTF JUST HAPPENED?!, right? Wrong. Sadly, wanker #1 was last seen around midnight, making out with a girl who clearly needs some therapy to work on her self-esteem issues, while douchebag #2 somehow managed to find a girl willing to flirt (badly) with him. I have no doubt he went home with her.

This is a problem. These two pricks are going to keep acting this way until someone holds them accountable. And since men of this age (or really any age) only think about the next time they will have sex, how they will have sex, and whom they will be having sex with, the best way to get them to stop behaving this way is to NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM.

Sounds so simple, right? We, as women (or gay men) are also accountable. It's more than a bit hypocritical to whine about how there are no good men out there, and then go home with the next breathing male of our species. I don't care how hot they are (and these two twats would have been, had my vision not been clouded by their bad behavior), how desperate you are, or even if your ex is watching. JUST SAY NO.