Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game

Forgive me if I ramble, but I'm still in a bit of shock. As you know, I met Halpert last week, and it was kind of awesome. He sent me a "Have a great day" text on Tuesday, then called on Wednesday, which was also kind of awesome, and we made plans to go out on Friday. He asked if I had any other food aversions (I have a lot), so he would know what kind of place to take me to. He made me laugh, ne', giggle. Then he called me again Thursday afternoon, just because he knew I had several hours to kill between my classes. (I was bra shopping at the time, which I decided I shouldn't tell him; it may give him unrealistic expectations regarding our date.) Needless to say, I was really looking forward to our date on Friday.

Then on Friday, just as I was about to start getting ready, he called with bad news. Something came up, and he had to go baby-sit his 2-year-old niece. He sounded genuinely disappointed, and wanted to make a plan to reschedule right away. I figured this was probably a good sign, since he a.) actually called, as opposed to texting and b.) rescheduled right there on the phone. So while I was seriously disappointed, I couldn't really be made at him. I mean, he was baby-sitting his niece. That's kind of adorable.

This afternoon, I was talking to Scarlet while I waited for him to call and tell me what time he was going to pick me up, when I received a text message. It was from him.

I'm going to be honest...

Shit. Nothing, nothing NOTHING good can possibly come from these words, not after one date. It's The Kiss of Death and ranks right up there with "We need to talk." I didn't want to read on, but I did.

I just became serious with someone I've been dating, so I don't think it's fair that we see each other anymore. You're a great person, the timing just wasn't right.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. (Scarlet and I also noticed that, for two people who rarely swear in real life, we really let loose on this blog. That's what dating will do to you, I guess.) I was- and still am- seriously bumming, but as Scarlet pointed out, at least he told me this after one date, and not after seven weeks. But of course, the signs were there, I just chose to ignore them. Remember when he didn't call me for five days and Baltimore Dan told me to pick up the phone? And when he called to "postpone," he suggested Sunday as a make-up date, as opposed to Saturday. My guess is he and this other girl decided to become exclusive on Saturday night. So yes, the timing sucked. What if I had contacted him earlier? We were both aware of each other's existence for a few weeks before either of us made contact. And what if we had gone out again on Friday and I had been given a second chance to impress the pants off of him? (Not literally, of course, I'm not that kind of girl.) I realize that you're probably screaming at the computer screen right now that he was LYING, but I think that if he was indeed lying to me on Friday, that someone should call the Academy and get this man an Oscar. Yes, it is a possibility, in which case he is a complete and utter fuckwit. But if life mirrors Sex and the City (without the fabulous shoes) then I am a Charlotte, and I remain hopeful. And it's easier to do that when I think the stars just simply didn't align on this one.

At first, I decided I wasn't going to respond. But after cooling off a bit, I sent him a "thanks for the early heads up, good luck!" text. If nothing else, this will show him how cool I really am, and if things don't work out, he will be that much more likely to call me. Not that I will be sitting around waiting for the call.

But at least for today, you can find me eating Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, listening to the S.A.D. playlist, and contemplating how the hell I'm going to get those stars to align.

Baltimore Dan Saves the Day!

I received some blindingly obvious boy advice from an actual boy today. I've been in contact with Halpert, who asked for my number over the weekend. I gave it to him, and he used it within 24 hours. (v. good sign) We talked for a full hour; about everything and anything. He sounds like a winner: he works with kids in an after school program, spent time in culinary school, has a charming southern accent, and has read Twilight for crying out loud (and before you cock that eyebrow Grayer, let me just point out that he works with 6th graders, and as someone who has recently worked with 6th graders, there isn't much else that 6th graders talk about. The curiousity will eventually get to you.) We even discovered we were at the same concert two years ago, which really goes to show you, you can meet people just about anywhere. You just usually don't.

That was Monday. By Friday, I still hadn't heard anything more from him. So I turned to one of my best guy friends, Baltimore Dan, for advice. I laid out the situation, and when I was finished, he said:
BD: Girls are allowed to call too, in my book.
Vi: But all the books I've read said not to call.
BD: Yeah, the thing is, guys don't read those books.
Vi: (laughs out loud, slaps self on forehead, has Peter on the road to Damascus type epiphany) Huh. So, if a girl called you on a Friday afternoon to ask how your week was, you wouldn't think that was pathetic?
BD: Absolutely not.

Baltimore Dan then went on to point out that every guy is different, and the dating books aren't necessarily universal. Then he told me to throw them away. The thing is, it makes perfect sense to me to call 50/50. He calls, I call, he calls, I call. But I felt like I was reading differently. Maybe I was reading wrong? But Baltimore Dan made it sound so simple. "So call him, leave him a message if you have to, and if he doesn't call back, that's that." He did, however, caution me to only call once, but he needn't worry about me.

So I did. And Halpert actually answered the phone. He was on his way to teach the Future of America, but we chatted for a bit until he got there. Then he asked if I would be around to chat some more later this evening (I have plans) and told me he would call back tomorrow. So, I guess if he doesn't, that's that. Thank you, Baltimore Dan.