Dating Burnout

I’d like to apologize for neglecting WWBD? this past month. Honestly between work, friends, family and the men of online dating I’ve barely even had time to relax. In light of my absence I’d like to give a recap of my adventures of online dating since I last posted.

I can relate to Violet’s pre-first date lack of enthusiasm. I met both The German and The Country Boy in the last few weeks. Prior to these dates I called both Violet and a few other friends for a pep talk. I really did try to psych myself up for the dates. I thought maybe after I made an effort to look cute I’d be more enthused but to no avail I just wasn’t that into them.

The German was up first. I met him at a pub after work, we both ordered beers, and he proceeded to talk about himself. My most common phrases of the evening were “uh huh”, “OK”, and “that’s nice.” I tried several times to change the topic to more common ground but apparently The German was just that into himself. At the point where I might have considered ordering food because I was starving, I decided that I needed to escape. Unfortunately The German had other plans…he ordered a second beer so without being rude I had no choice but to wait till he was done. I left feeling cheated out of a free meal and thinking “I’ll never get those 3 hours of my life back!” I have not heard from The German since and I can't say that I'm disappointed.

For my date with The Country Boy I decided that I needed to plan the date more wisely. I suggested ice cream on a week night. (See I do learn from experience!) I figured you can order another beer but not another ice cream. The date with The Country Boy was moderately better than the date with The German; however, his pictures were clearly from high school. He was nice but I just wasn’t feeling it. The Country Boy emailed me the next day and I graciously turned him down for a second date. I

So here is my problem…at what point does my attempt to be open minded and not too picky go too far? Violet and I discussed this topic over the weekend. The thing is that I think that I’m really putting forth an honest effort. For example, I tell Violet almost everything but I was so determined to give The Engineer a chance that I didn’t admit to Violet that I wasn’t attracted to him to after it was over. (I felt guilty about it and we got along so well that I thought that maybe with time that would change.)

I think there is a point where you just have to admit there are certain things you can’t compromise on. Unfortunately, this leaves me at an impasse. Where have all the fun, educated, eligible bachelors gone?

Getting back in the game...

I decided to be the bigger person and not email The Engineer. One of my friends said by not responding the ball stays in my court. I'm not really sure what I can do with this power at this point but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me.

Now that it is too late I kind of regret not emailing The Engineer back. I know that it wouldn’t have changed anything but it was all so sudden and I feel like his email robbed me of complete closure. This is going to sound somewhat pathetic but, despite The Engineer being a complete fuckwit at the end, I still kind of miss him. Even if I wasn’t that into him I still really liked him and I had fun with him.

So now that The Engineer is out of the picture I’m back on match in search of a guy I’m not only compatible with but who I’m also attracted to. (By the way, I hate that I’m now comparing other guys to The Engineer.) Within a day or two receiving the email from The Engineer, I updated my profile and contacted a handful of guys. Of course only a couple replied. Here is a roll call of those in the running at the moment:

• The Accidental Date Guy – The weekend after things ended with The Engineer I was trying to make plans for the evening. I was talking to one of my guy friends from meetup group thinking that we were going to invite other people. It wasn’t until the last minute that I realized that he might not have been thinking the same thing. I asked him if I should see if other people wanted to join and he said “no I think we can handle this ;-)”. Crap!! So I went on the “date” and it was fun. However, he was moving out of town in a couple of days and a couple months later he will be moving out of the country for several years. (Plus, I hadn’t thoroughly facebook stalked him and my friend informed me later than he has a toddler.) He did call and text me the day after the date though.
• The German – I have been talking to this guy on match who lives near where I work. He seemed really interesting at first but some of his emails recent emails have been a little boring and his comments make me think that we might not be compatible. As English is not his first language and he seems interested in me, I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I suggested meeting and he said he would like that and is free this week. He did lose points suggesting that we meet during the week so that I wouldn’t have to drive up on a weekend. (I commute to work.) Seriously? He could have at least pretended he was willing to meet me half way.
• The Country Boy – The guy contacted me on match. He fishes, hunts, watches Nascar, loves his pickup truck and makes his own furniture. He seems interesting and I’m not entirely opposed to the country boy type but Nascar and hunting definitely aren’t hot.

So here it goes again...dating is so exhausting...