Big news this week. My best friend in the whole wide world got engaged! Yay, Greenley! I'm so excited/happy/not even the teeniest bit jealous. Her man is awesome and I approve completely. But back to my other engaged best friend, 9-year-Lisa and her loser fiancee. I saw her over the weekend for yet another wedding dress fitting for her August wedding. NOTE: If your friend ever offers to make your wedding dress, say NO! What it will save you in money you will lose in parts of your soul. And when this homemade dress makes you look like a oompa loompa, you will spend more money rush ordering a real one. Never ever ever let a friend make your wedding dress (unless you are legitimately friends with Vera Wang, in which case...hook me up). Also, listen to your brilliant and very pretty bridesmaid, who told you this was an awful idea to begin with. She (and by she, I mean me) loses parts of her soul every time you call her worrying about your stupid dress when you should have just listened to her in the first place because she knows everything about everything, and she's so pretty. But I digress.
I told Lisa about Greenley's engagement and said "I feel like everyone I know is engaged." Two close friends, a co-worker friend, and a couple old colleagues from school have all gotten engaged in the past 5 months, so yes, that's everyone. Or close enough. It was just a casual statement, a somewhat overly dramatic casual statement. It did not merit this completely serious response:
"Ya know, Grayer...my cousin...she's not anywhere near getting engaged...she's not even in a relationship...and she's 27...she's older than you."
"Ummm...What's that have to do with anything? I don't know her."
"Just...don't feel bad that you're not engaged."
Hold the phone!?! Was me stating I knew many engaged couples code for secretly crying about not being engaged with everyone else?! I mean, I'm not even in a relationship!? And I'm 26! I'm going to die aloooone!
Yeah, that's not at all what I was thinking when I said that. But it's good to know that Lisa's thinking it for me. What a great pretentiously smug married friend she is. I know she feels bad for me for not being "anywhere near engaged," but I honestly feel bad for her. I mean, look at her. She stayed with a complete schmuck for 9 years just so she could get married in an unflattering homemade dress. I'm sorry, I have a lot of priorities in my life, and being someone's wife is not one of them.
Showing posts with label engagements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label engagements. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The one with Lisa's thunder
I just visited my good friend and former roommate/colleague, 8-year-Lisa, this past weekend. Like we do every time we see each other anymore, we A) get drunk and bake irrationally and 2) discuss her Loser of a boyfriend and their seemingly dead-end relationship. I've written about them a couple times over the past couple of years. They've now been together for 9 years, living together for 6 months and my opinion of them hasn't changed. They love each other, they don't like each other.
I finally voiced some concerns about them this weekend. (For example, when I ask what the two of them like to do for fun together, she literally had no answer. That's what I call a concern). While she considered each one of them, she did not falter in her "In it to win it" mentality. That girl wants a ring. For as long as I've known her she's wanted a ring. However, in the past 3 years she's gone from making up excuses for him not proposing, to trying to be a strong feminist who doesn't need a wedding to prove her self worth. When she said this I reminded her of a certain Valentine's Day when she pretended she did not care about Valentine's Day and I ended up having to cheer her up after she did not get anything for Valentine's day. Pretending to not need a marriage would have the same crushing disappointment. Yes, she wants to get married. Yes, she wants him to stand up and say "I want to be with you for the rest of my life." When she finally admitted that, we came to the conclusion that it was time to have yet another talk about their future. So when I left on Sunday morning, she planned to bring it up soon.
I got a call from her last night. Here's basically how the first 5 minutes of the conversation went:
8yL: Grayer! This is the call! I'm engaged!!! (In a very shrill voice).
G: No you're not.
This goes back and forth several times.
G: So what are you actually calling me for anyways? (Not to be a bitch, but it was my bedtime).
8yL: I'm En-Gaaaaaged!
And then I believe her (In my defense, her family didn't believe her either). Here's how shit went down. Lisa brought up their future and the prospect of marriage. The Loser said he had been thinking about it. Discussion continued and climaxed when he said something to the degree of, "So, ya wanna?" She told him he wasn't doing it right, but by the end of it they were agreed upon one thing, they were engaged. No ring. No romance. No proposal, just a rational discussion. It's like a fairy tale, isn't it?
I don't mean to be a bad friend. I'm happy for her, in a if you're happy, I'm happy, sort of way. When he does get around to getting her a ring, I highly suggested they go pick it out together. It will be something fun they can do together, and more importantly, he's notorious for buying her hideous jewelry.
But enough about her, let's focus on what this means for me. Aside from speculating if I'll be part of the wedding party, or if I will get to help plan a possible fall New England wedding (I have great non-career related aspirations to be a wedding planner), I'm having some weird thoughts. This is my first close friend to get engaged, and although I'm happy for her and truly do not envy her for it (who would really?) I'm being weird about it. It's as if Monica and Chandler just got engaged and my first thought is to sleep with Ross. Seriously. I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend last night (I haven't talked to him in over a year but today I realized is his birthday, weird!). I kept thinking about Jonny Fucking Damon all day. I've been really tempted to text Conrad all night (luckily I forgot my phone at work) and I was just Facebook stalking my ex-Imaginary Boyfriend and his seemingly perfect/skinny/pretty girlfriend. Ugh. What is wrong with me?!
I finally voiced some concerns about them this weekend. (For example, when I ask what the two of them like to do for fun together, she literally had no answer. That's what I call a concern). While she considered each one of them, she did not falter in her "In it to win it" mentality. That girl wants a ring. For as long as I've known her she's wanted a ring. However, in the past 3 years she's gone from making up excuses for him not proposing, to trying to be a strong feminist who doesn't need a wedding to prove her self worth. When she said this I reminded her of a certain Valentine's Day when she pretended she did not care about Valentine's Day and I ended up having to cheer her up after she did not get anything for Valentine's day. Pretending to not need a marriage would have the same crushing disappointment. Yes, she wants to get married. Yes, she wants him to stand up and say "I want to be with you for the rest of my life." When she finally admitted that, we came to the conclusion that it was time to have yet another talk about their future. So when I left on Sunday morning, she planned to bring it up soon.
I got a call from her last night. Here's basically how the first 5 minutes of the conversation went:
8yL: Grayer! This is the call! I'm engaged!!! (In a very shrill voice).
G: No you're not.
This goes back and forth several times.
G: So what are you actually calling me for anyways? (Not to be a bitch, but it was my bedtime).
8yL: I'm En-Gaaaaaged!
And then I believe her (In my defense, her family didn't believe her either). Here's how shit went down. Lisa brought up their future and the prospect of marriage. The Loser said he had been thinking about it. Discussion continued and climaxed when he said something to the degree of, "So, ya wanna?" She told him he wasn't doing it right, but by the end of it they were agreed upon one thing, they were engaged. No ring. No romance. No proposal, just a rational discussion. It's like a fairy tale, isn't it?
I don't mean to be a bad friend. I'm happy for her, in a if you're happy, I'm happy, sort of way. When he does get around to getting her a ring, I highly suggested they go pick it out together. It will be something fun they can do together, and more importantly, he's notorious for buying her hideous jewelry.
But enough about her, let's focus on what this means for me. Aside from speculating if I'll be part of the wedding party, or if I will get to help plan a possible fall New England wedding (I have great non-career related aspirations to be a wedding planner), I'm having some weird thoughts. This is my first close friend to get engaged, and although I'm happy for her and truly do not envy her for it (who would really?) I'm being weird about it. It's as if Monica and Chandler just got engaged and my first thought is to sleep with Ross. Seriously. I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend last night (I haven't talked to him in over a year but today I realized is his birthday, weird!). I kept thinking about Jonny Fucking Damon all day. I've been really tempted to text Conrad all night (luckily I forgot my phone at work) and I was just Facebook stalking my ex-Imaginary Boyfriend and his seemingly perfect/skinny/pretty girlfriend. Ugh. What is wrong with me?!
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