"So not that I'm stalking or anything, but my ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend (well, I don't know how "new" she is, but she's not me :P ) and I can't help thinking how old she looks. Is that terrible? He looks old too. In fact, if you looked at a picture of him and a picture of the cute neighbour, you would probably immediately say that the cute neighbour is younger when he is in fact 8 years older than my ex. I fear that horrible karma is coming my way for thinking these thoughts, but it's hard not to notice." - Violet in a email to Fenella
No Vi it is not terrible and no, horrible karma is not coming your way. Why? Because you are an ex-girlfriend to this person. And you have rights.
The Rights of an Ex-Girlfriend:
1. The right to imagine what it would be like to run into your ex for the first time after your break-up. You are of course looking fabulous and feel fabulous. Him? Not so much.
2. The right to have a bit of wallow and eat a lot of ice-cream if the real-life run in consists of you looking hungover/dishevelled/sick/anything less than fabulous with lipstick on your teeth and an ink stain on your shirt.
3. The right to occasionally stalk him on Facebook.
4. The right to occasionally stalk him on Facebook – even if you’ve dumped him as a Facebook friend.
5. The right to wish that you find someone else before he does. (Not that you don’t want him to be happy. You just want to be happy first.)
6. The right to look at photos of him and his new girlfriend (obviously this has occurred after you have found your fabulous new boyfriend) and feel relieved to see that she is not as pretty as you. (Not that you’re a horrible person. She is still pretty, just not as pretty as you).
7. The right to ask your friend to look on Facebook at photos of your ex and his new girlfriend because you don’t feel you can give an unbiased opinion. (From what I can tell from the back of her head Vi you are prettier).
8. The right to laugh hysterically when you find out that your ex’s new girlfriend is 5 years younger than you. And you’re only 23. You also have the right to tell loads of people this and say that he is clearly going through an early mid-life crisis. (A personal example there).
Most importantly, these rights do not result in bad karma. Just don’t waste too much time on them because Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice version or Bridget Jones. Delete as applicable.) could be right around the corner.
Showing posts with label stalkers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stalkers. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Facebook...again
There have been many conversations on this blog about the perils and pitfalls of Facebook. I have a few more to add to the list:
Being Facebook friends with people you work with
Some people have a real issue about this. They believe their work life and their personal life should be kept entirely separate and as part of this they refuse to be Facebook friends with work friends. Which is fair enough. I personally take a slightly more relaxed stance and am Facebook friends with some work friends. I do draw the line in some cases but I figure that many of the people that I work with are really good friend of mine, and as my Facebook page doesn't contain anything highly embarrassing and I'm not going to post a status update bitching about work which will result in getting fired, it's ok to be Facebook friends with work friends.
Or so I thought. A woman I work with (who is lovely, just a little intense) added me. I was torn. On the one hand I didn't really want to add her. On the other I knew for a fact that if I didn't add her she would come up to my desk and ask why I hadn't added her. So then I thought that I could add her but restrict what she could see. But then I realised that she would again come up to my desk and ask why she could only see my limited profile. So I gave in and accepted her friend request.
Big mistake. She comments on quite a few of my status updates. Pointlessly. She's a bit like a Facebook stalker who I have to see Monday - Friday. It got worse a couple weeks ago when she came up to my desk and said: "Ben Jones". I was confused for 10 seconds until I realised that she was talking about my friend from uni Ben Jones. My friend that she can only know about because of my Facebook page. She saw that he had commented on my page and came to my desk to tell me that she thought he was good looking. Weird. Then last week she told her manager about my update about the royal wedding:
"Fenella Middleton-Brown only cares about the royal wedding if we get a day off."
She told her manager. They had a conversation about my status update. I could hear this conversation. Seriously? This woman has crossed the line. I can't dump her though. She'll ask me why. Still, on the plus side, we do get a day off for the royal wedding.
Being Facebook friends with your parents' friends
I didn't mean for this to happen. Really I didn't. It was accidental. I swear. When I was in Peru I uploaded all my photos to Facebook and sent the link to my parents. This way they could see the photos even though they weren't on Facebook. Except for some reason the link that I sent meant that if people who weren't on Facebook decided to join Facebook through my link - they were automatically my friend. Which is how I became Facebook friends with my mother. And a few of my parents' friends. OK - I may have accepted some of their friend requests as well. And my godmother who I haven't seen since I was three. Then I felt bad if I dumped then. And most of them are fine and cause no trouble. But again, there's a couple that comment way too much and need to leave me alone. One of them wished me happy birthday and called me my family nickname that is only a family nickname. For no one else. I was furious.
I really should dump them all. But then my parents might be mad.
Adding your boyfriend on Facebook
I mentioned that the White Horse and I aren't Facebook friends - well now we are. It was a couple weeks ago and we were joking that our relationship wasn't official unless we were Facebook friends. I then pretended it was a big deal to accept his friend request, it was all very amusing. We also had The Conversation where we agreed that the whole:
"Fenella Middleton-Brown is in a relationship with The White Horse"
is unnecessary and silly. So we became Facebook friends. Which resulted in:
1.) Me suddenly realising that he may have a look at my photos and one of the first ones he would see is the one that Vi mentioned - the one of me and my ex-boyfriend looking very cozy 4 years ago that someone decided to tag. I hastily de-tagged myself. It sounds ridiculous but that wasn't the first photo of me I wanted him to see. I started thinking if there were any other photos I didn't want him to see. I then told myself I was being ridiculous.
2.) I kid you not, about 10 minutes after I accepted his requested by friend text me: "so you're finally Facebook friends!" Freaky.
3.) My mother has been stalking my boyfriend on Facebook. She insists it's not stalking as he hasn't made his photos private. I insist that it's stalking if you're not friends with each on Facebook.
I may regret this decision.
Facebook is a minefield.
Being Facebook friends with people you work with
Some people have a real issue about this. They believe their work life and their personal life should be kept entirely separate and as part of this they refuse to be Facebook friends with work friends. Which is fair enough. I personally take a slightly more relaxed stance and am Facebook friends with some work friends. I do draw the line in some cases but I figure that many of the people that I work with are really good friend of mine, and as my Facebook page doesn't contain anything highly embarrassing and I'm not going to post a status update bitching about work which will result in getting fired, it's ok to be Facebook friends with work friends.
Or so I thought. A woman I work with (who is lovely, just a little intense) added me. I was torn. On the one hand I didn't really want to add her. On the other I knew for a fact that if I didn't add her she would come up to my desk and ask why I hadn't added her. So then I thought that I could add her but restrict what she could see. But then I realised that she would again come up to my desk and ask why she could only see my limited profile. So I gave in and accepted her friend request.
Big mistake. She comments on quite a few of my status updates. Pointlessly. She's a bit like a Facebook stalker who I have to see Monday - Friday. It got worse a couple weeks ago when she came up to my desk and said: "Ben Jones". I was confused for 10 seconds until I realised that she was talking about my friend from uni Ben Jones. My friend that she can only know about because of my Facebook page. She saw that he had commented on my page and came to my desk to tell me that she thought he was good looking. Weird. Then last week she told her manager about my update about the royal wedding:
"Fenella Middleton-Brown only cares about the royal wedding if we get a day off."
She told her manager. They had a conversation about my status update. I could hear this conversation. Seriously? This woman has crossed the line. I can't dump her though. She'll ask me why. Still, on the plus side, we do get a day off for the royal wedding.
Being Facebook friends with your parents' friends
I didn't mean for this to happen. Really I didn't. It was accidental. I swear. When I was in Peru I uploaded all my photos to Facebook and sent the link to my parents. This way they could see the photos even though they weren't on Facebook. Except for some reason the link that I sent meant that if people who weren't on Facebook decided to join Facebook through my link - they were automatically my friend. Which is how I became Facebook friends with my mother. And a few of my parents' friends. OK - I may have accepted some of their friend requests as well. And my godmother who I haven't seen since I was three. Then I felt bad if I dumped then. And most of them are fine and cause no trouble. But again, there's a couple that comment way too much and need to leave me alone. One of them wished me happy birthday and called me my family nickname that is only a family nickname. For no one else. I was furious.
I really should dump them all. But then my parents might be mad.
Adding your boyfriend on Facebook
I mentioned that the White Horse and I aren't Facebook friends - well now we are. It was a couple weeks ago and we were joking that our relationship wasn't official unless we were Facebook friends. I then pretended it was a big deal to accept his friend request, it was all very amusing. We also had The Conversation where we agreed that the whole:
"Fenella Middleton-Brown is in a relationship with The White Horse"
is unnecessary and silly. So we became Facebook friends. Which resulted in:
1.) Me suddenly realising that he may have a look at my photos and one of the first ones he would see is the one that Vi mentioned - the one of me and my ex-boyfriend looking very cozy 4 years ago that someone decided to tag. I hastily de-tagged myself. It sounds ridiculous but that wasn't the first photo of me I wanted him to see. I started thinking if there were any other photos I didn't want him to see. I then told myself I was being ridiculous.
2.) I kid you not, about 10 minutes after I accepted his requested by friend text me: "so you're finally Facebook friends!" Freaky.
3.) My mother has been stalking my boyfriend on Facebook. She insists it's not stalking as he hasn't made his photos private. I insist that it's stalking if you're not friends with each on Facebook.
I may regret this decision.
Facebook is a minefield.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Facebook Stalkers
I'm moving in three days time. I'm away for work this weekend. My room is a mess. What else is there to do but blog?
Facebook has a lot to answer for. Mainly, the arrival of Facebook fuckwittage, serious procrastination when writing anything school / college related, causing awkward situations to arise - like Conrad's dad adding you as a Facebook friend, and the ability for stalkers to well, stalk. (Vi, have you ever blogged about your Facebook stalker?) And speaking of Facebook stalkers I thought I would share a funny little story.
Monday night I was round the White Horse's. We were watching TV with his roommate. His roommate was on Facebook and an old friend from school (female) pinged up on his Facebook chat (error #1 - don't have your Facebook chat set to online all the time). He mentioned this to us and said he didn't really want to talk to her. I said that he shouldn't be mean, just chat for a minute or so then make your excuses. The following is the chat that then took place:
Her: Hey, how are you?
Him: Fine thanks, you?
Her: I work at Tesco (UK supermarket chain), not married, no kids. You? (Yes, she volunteered that information)
Him: Divorced. Three times. Don't think I have any kids but you never know do you? Pulled my hamstring. (He thought that a sentence like this, dripping with sarcasm would have some effect)
Her: Fancy meeting up some time? (Subtle)
Him: Yeah, it would be good to get a group of us together from school. (That was my suggestion, I thought she would get the hint)
Her: Cool!! I'll arrange something. What's your number?
Him: It's on my Facebook page. (Error #2 - be wary about having your number on you FB page)
They then send their goodbyes. The White Horse and I were finding this whole conversation pretty funny. The girl was obviously very, very keen and none too subtle. It gets better.
No more than 2 minutes after he signed off Facebook chat...his phone started ringing. She didn't get the hint when he didn't pick up - she left a voicemail saying she couldn't wait for them to meet up.
I hadn't laughed so hard in ages. I tried to feel a bit bad for her, I've been there - you like a guy but he doesn't feel the same way. But relly, she was just a little too keen.
However, as funny as this was, let this be a warning to us all. There are crazy people out there. And they might very well be our Facebook friends...
Facebook has a lot to answer for. Mainly, the arrival of Facebook fuckwittage, serious procrastination when writing anything school / college related, causing awkward situations to arise - like Conrad's dad adding you as a Facebook friend, and the ability for stalkers to well, stalk. (Vi, have you ever blogged about your Facebook stalker?) And speaking of Facebook stalkers I thought I would share a funny little story.
Monday night I was round the White Horse's. We were watching TV with his roommate. His roommate was on Facebook and an old friend from school (female) pinged up on his Facebook chat (error #1 - don't have your Facebook chat set to online all the time). He mentioned this to us and said he didn't really want to talk to her. I said that he shouldn't be mean, just chat for a minute or so then make your excuses. The following is the chat that then took place:
Her: Hey, how are you?
Him: Fine thanks, you?
Her: I work at Tesco (UK supermarket chain), not married, no kids. You? (Yes, she volunteered that information)
Him: Divorced. Three times. Don't think I have any kids but you never know do you? Pulled my hamstring. (He thought that a sentence like this, dripping with sarcasm would have some effect)
Her: Fancy meeting up some time? (Subtle)
Him: Yeah, it would be good to get a group of us together from school. (That was my suggestion, I thought she would get the hint)
Her: Cool!! I'll arrange something. What's your number?
Him: It's on my Facebook page. (Error #2 - be wary about having your number on you FB page)
They then send their goodbyes. The White Horse and I were finding this whole conversation pretty funny. The girl was obviously very, very keen and none too subtle. It gets better.
No more than 2 minutes after he signed off Facebook chat...his phone started ringing. She didn't get the hint when he didn't pick up - she left a voicemail saying she couldn't wait for them to meet up.
I hadn't laughed so hard in ages. I tried to feel a bit bad for her, I've been there - you like a guy but he doesn't feel the same way. But relly, she was just a little too keen.
However, as funny as this was, let this be a warning to us all. There are crazy people out there. And they might very well be our Facebook friends...
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