Fuckwittage: It's catching

Recently, I met up with Luigi. I probably shouldn't have, but I needed some closure.

I didn't get it.

Turns out, it's complicated. (Isn't it always?) It's also a long story, which I honestly don't feel like getting into right now, because when I do, I pretty much always start to cry. Let's just say I'm not the problem, but until the complications go away, I have no closure, and I just sit around wishing things were different. I even went on a date with the Pool Boy, which was a perfectly nice date, and I enjoyed myself, until it was all over, and I was thinking of Luigi instead of the Pool Boy. And then I started to notice that the Pool Boy was playing a game.

It started when he was teaching me to play pool. Before he even asked me for my number, he announced, unprovoked, that he had come out of a relationship last year, and that he was damaged goods. Aren't we all? We're not kids anymore, at this stage in our life, everyone has a few bruises. I knew this was his way of telling me before I had even thought to ask, that he wasn't interested in a relationship, so if I wanted one, I was barking up the wrong tree. Don't worry, Pool Boy, I'm not interested.

His good friend did the same thing to my friend Amelie. He and Amelie went out for drinks one evening, but before the evening started, he was sure to inform her that he was also out of a relationship last year, and he didn't want to get into anything either. Then I noticed that both of them are playing the same game. Hot and Cold. One day, they'll greet you in the student union with enthusiasm and a kiss on the cheek and tell you how great you look. The next day, they won't even acknowledge you. Amelie and I decided immediately we were not about to play this game. We're not in high school anymore, boys. Grow up.

But the "emotionally unavailable" rash is spreading. And yesterday, I had a good, long, coffee and pastry break with my friend Audrey, who is seriously hot. (And who I'm trying to convince to go out on a date with my housemate.) But take heart: Even the really pretty girls get their hearts broken. She had been going out with a guy who is also a friend of mine (we all go to school together), although there was something about them that always made me squirm a bit. He's ten years older than she is, and she's so pretty, and he's so... not. Also, I could see how much she liked him, but I also knew from being friends with him, that he wasn't exactly looking for anything at the moment either. Sure enough, on the same weekend I saw Luigi, Audrey was having a slightly similar conversation with him (although with more fuckwittage). He told her that he had lately started thinking about his ex, and now he wasn't as enthusiastic about her as he had been at the beginning. Seriously? He's not as enthusiastic about her? She told me she felt like he was making it out to be her fault that his enthusiasm had waned. It's not her fault. He's being a fuckwit.

I mean really, guys. If you are still hung up on someone from your past, that's fine. But don't start something with someone else. I really don't know what's worse: starting something and then pleading emotional unavailability, or walking around telling girls you're "damaged goods" as a get-out-of-jail-free card. In the latter case, you're covering your bases immediately. That way, we can't call you a fuckwit: you already warned us.

In the meantime, get thee into therapy and move on.