When Friday nights go bad

I am of the belief that you can relate most situations in life to something that happened in 'Friends'. I'm sure someone this very moment is doing a thesis to prove this very idea. Remember when Rachel puts Monica in charge of her love life? Rachel has to do whatever Monica says. I'm Rachel. I need a Monica. As I am in no position to be making these types of decisions by myself.

It all began back when I started my job. My office is hardly brimming with good looking, single, funny men. Which was kind of a relief, office romances are messy after all. However, there was once guy who intrigued me. Vi and I call him Posh Work Guy. Posh Work Guy is like no guy I have ever met before, and not really in a good way. He's posh and as I mentioned before, I'm not a fan of posh British guys. He has slight OCD and an obsession with using hand sanitiser. He's so ridiculously well-dressed people wonder if he's gay. And he's just not my type. At all.

He also keeps himself to himself. Barely anyone in the office knows anything about him. I only really got chatting to him a couple of months ago when we were all at the pub. After chatting to him for well over 20 minutes I heard him mutter to someone else: "Is her name Fenella?" Huh. Charming. A couple weeks later we were at the pub again (leaving drinks, a lot of people have left) and he got chatting to me and my friend from work, Emily. Now Emily and Posh Work Guy are more on the same wavelength 'posh wise' then I am. So they got on quite well. I actually knew beforehand that PWG had a bit of a thing for Emily, which I mocked him for. (He also was in a relationship at the time). A couple days later PWG asks if Emily and I want to go out with him that night to this club which is for members only. I couldn't go because I had a date but I ended up meeting them later. It was one of the most random nights in London I've had so far, but in a good way.

So Emily and I somehow slipped through these walls he puts up to other people at work. Apparently we should feel privileged. He made an attempt to ask Emily to dinner but got the hint that she wasn't interested. Meanwhile, he and I email all the time at work. He says that I keep him from going crazy with boredom. I just like getting non-work related emails. He says that Emily is cold, I'm friendly. Earlier this week he suggested we go for drinks after work on Friday. I agreed because I'm broke from my trip to visit Vi and he's not. Plus, as quirky and strange as he is, he's fun to hang around with. The evening started out perfectly innocent and normal. We drank, we chatted, we devised a plan to get the 34 year old guy we work with who still lives with his parents, laid (he really needs it). It was fun. We decided to go on to the club we went to before. The evening turned slightly sour when I realised that my wallet had been taken from my bag. It had been handed in at the bar, minus all my cash.

Even when we were at the club I never thought anything was going to happen. But I'm sure you all guessed where this is going. One moment we're chatting, the next, we're kissing. We went back to his place where after some fooling around I said:

"Well I think that's our friendship ruined."

He said:

"Eh, we weren't that close anyway."

IT'S FROM FRIENDS!!

This morning didn't result in any weird awkwardness, in fact, it was much the same as the night before. We did have the whole discussion about telling people at work. Which neither of us have any plans to do. I personally would never live it down because of the reputation he has. He just wants to protect his privacy. He drove me home (no small thing considering he lives in north London, I live in the south). And that was that. He text me a few hours ago, I replied.

It's safe to say that I now feel like a bit of an idiot. This was such a bad idea. Not 24 hours before all this happened I emailed Vi saying that I was staying away from guys for awhile why I learn or attempt to learn, not to fall so hard so fast. I was serious about it. I also blogged about my loss of mojo. Well that's out the window because I found it last night. All of this with a guy who is so not my type, is slightly shorter than me, at one point liked my friend, has a complicated situation with his ex and who I actually have no interest in at all. Oh and let us not forget...we work together.

Now accepting applications for the post of Monica.

Missing: Fenella's Mojo

Firstly, might I just say that one of my closest friends has just got engaged. ENGAGED! What a foreign concept that is to be sure.

Secondly, might I just say that I am nowhere near close to that stage in my life. In fact, I'm so far away from that stage that man will probably set foot on the moon again before I get engaged. Reason being? My mojo is missing.

Now before you all start protesting (I can hear Vi protesting as we speak), and accuse me of being liar, I am fully aware that I did receive some McNerdy Love. However, that did not solve my missing mojo problem. It merely tracked it down for a couple days.

Obviously if a guy like McNerdy were to come along i.e. sane and funny, then I am a female and would take full advantage of this. My issue is this: while there are no McNerdys around...I'm just not that bothered. I don't care that I have no prospects on the horizon. I don't care that it might be months until I am kissed again let alone anything else. I don't care that I have no one to drunk dial (what a relief!)

And that my friends is when your mojo is missing. When you just don't care.

Missing: Violet's Mojo

It has come to my attention, that I've lost something. Something very, very important in the life of any singleton: my mojo. Once upon a time, I had good mojo. I was single, but I certainly didn't reek of desperation, and I got a fair amount of attention from men. At some point in the last year, my mojo abandoned me. I'm hoping it's just on extended vacation and will return shortly. I blame it on South America (oh my God, what if it's lost somewhere on the continent and can't find it's way home?). Wearing the same practical traveling clothes day in and day out, not showering or washing my hair for extended periods of time will take the mojo right out of you. So throw me a bone here, how do I get my mojo back? I'm attempting to get some back tonight. I put on some scandalous underwear, shaved my legs, (and not just below the knees, either) and am going salsa dancing. If this doesn't work, I don't know what will. Help!