The case of the crazy cat lady

“Grayer, can I ask you a question?” says The Roommate, as we climb into bed the other night.

We had just changed my sheets because for the first time ever, Mr. Kitty Meowington threw up on my bed.  This is what I get for bringing a boy home on a week night.

“Are you making a cat Christmas stocking?”

He also had to pick up Mr. Meowington from his cat condo to hand him to me.  Mr. Meowington is not permitted to sleep in my room when I have guests.

“What? No. What do you think I’m some sort crazy cat lady?”

I was starting to regret wearing the black cat winter hat, that Violet got me for Christmas, on our walk to my house.

“Well, I saw a cat stocking and your desk looks like you’ve been...crafting..”

He had to step over the hot glue gun that I had left on the floor, right next to my staple gun and fabric, to get to my bed.

“Oh, that cat stocking.  My mom got me that because I left my real stocking here.  And yeah, I was crafting the other night.”

I totally drunkenly bragged about my brand new sewing machine that I had gotten for Christmas when I saw him on New Year’s.

“What’d you make?”

Not a cat Christmas stocking, because Mr. Meowington already has a Christmas stocking, duh.  I made it for him years ago.

“I was revamping Mr. Meowington’s scratching post, I made it for him when I was in college, it needed a makeover...........I sound really lame, don’t I?”

Despite my lameness, he moved in to kiss me as Mr. Meowington meowed outside my door.

“Yep.”

And then we stopped talking. 

I had run into him that night at a show.  Some of my friends and I were out to see a couple bands play, I knew one of the bassists.  The reason why I knew one of the bassists is because he’s the third roommate of The Roommate and the Karaoke Kid.  Luckily, KK had stayed home and after my (superlame) friends left, I stayed to hang out with The Roommate and the band.  Apparently, after our New Year’s Eve shenanigans, the Karaoke Kid never said anything about it.  This indicated to The Roommate that KK was ok with it, which apparently made it ok for him to come home with me.  So yeah, I guess we're a thing again (assuming my cat craziness hasn't scared him away).  It's January, I need a thing.

Should old aquaintance be forgot...

Ugh.  That is my exact sentiment on the whole New Years Eve thing. It is also my sentiment on the whole New Year day thing, when I can't stop eating junk to ease the hangover and I'm starting to worry that the multiple rat nests in my hair just might be permanent.  Just, ugh. 

I have a love hate relationship with the whole holiday.  Sure, it's usually a good time and I get to wear something fancy, but does that make up for all the stress I have trying to make plans for the night.  Not really.  Oh, the pressure!

After much debate of my limited options, I finally decided to go out with the Karaoke Kid and friends. (Quick refresher: I briefly dated KK in the spring until one night, I secretly started seeing his roommate instead.  KK never found out about that short-lived affair and we're still friends). I hadn't seen him in a long time but those guys are always a good drunken time and they were planning on wearing suits and top hats.  Drankin' and fancy dressin' are the two things I want on my New Years Eve.  I was sold.

After much primping (a slammin' little black dress, curls, hair flair, and red lipstick) I make it over to KK's apartment.  The last time I was at that apartment I was there with The Roommate, but that was six months ago.  The last time I had seen the both of them, KK was awkward and The Roommate tried hard to give me the cold shoulder, but that was five months ago. Things would be fine I was sure, and they were.  Even when their other friends went to a house party, leaving me with the Karaoke Kid and The Roommate, alone.  Let the heavy drinking begin, because really, how did I not see this coming?

The three of us made it out to a bar and I desperately hoped that we'd be able to meet up with one of my friends from work (her and her friends were one of my other options) but they unfortunately weren't in our area.  So there we were, the three of us ringing in the New Year, toasting with a huge shot that completely kicked my ass.  I immediately followed this by dancing to Lady Gaga, while still sitting on my bar stool.  I actually did have quite a good time, just like we used to have good drunken times.  KK was his normal self and The Roommate was back to his usual flirtatious meanness that got me into trouble with him in the first place.  Cue the "uh oh".  At the end of the night, while the Karaoke Kid went outside to smoke, I became adamant on finishing my water and also very adamant on making out with The Roommate.  I'm not really sure how that happened, I'd like to blame him, but let's be honest, I probably instigated it (if there is one thing I can pride myself in, it's instigating poor drunken decisions).  Making out in a bar is classy, don't even try to tell me it's not. 

I, of course, meant to go home alone that night to avoid any weird situations.  But the Roommate was secretly holding my hand when the Karaoke Kid wasn't looking, as we stumbled back to their place.  We were waiting for KK to pass out, but he had an odd amount of energy going, and was basically dancing and playing music in his room.  The Roommate went to his own room.  I sat down on his bed.  He still had the same surfboard sheets.  I asked him if he's washed them since, he said he had.  Then he closed his door.  The music stopped shortly thereafter. 

This morning I bid The Roommate adieu, wished him luck with the Karaoke Kid, and told him he could call me if he wanted though I suspected he wouldn't.  I don't know what KK thought happened, maybe he told him I just passed out.  Maybe he didn't. Wow, I'm good at fucking things up with them.  I'm also good at sneaking out of their apartment.  I did my very long walk of shame in last night's dress and very scary hair.  An old man I passed shook his head at me.  Even his dog gave me a disapproving look.  2011 is looking surprisingly similar to 2010.  Maybe one of my resolutions should have been to stop doing stupid shit when I'm drunk.  But if I did that, what would I blog about??

Happy 2011!

The way we were

Last night I saw the Karaoke Kid and The Roommate. Yes, it was the first time I saw them since that time. The first time since that time I left the Karaoke Kid passed out on the couch. The first time since that time I left the Roommate with a long kiss goodbye.

It's been well over a month. My contact with them has been limited to say the least. A few messages here and there with the Karaoke Kid (saying we should hang out, but it would only be as friends) and a whole lot of nothing from The Roommate. It was The Roommate that I was nervous to see when it was decided that I would be joining them and their other friends for trivia last night. Since I was nervous, I decided to bring my new go-to-girl, June (She's always up for anything, and I had a sneaking suspicion that she would really hit it off with their other roommate, The Hipster).

We didn't win in trivia (though I proved to myself the only knowledge I can retain is pop-culture knowledge) but we gave it a good college try over beers and huge burgers. Things were kind of like normal. But not.

The Karaoke Kid was fine. We made normal conversation. I realized he was shockingly unhelpful at trivia but still oddly good at karaoke (which is where we headed afterwards. His song of choice? Lisa Loeb's "Torn". The ladies loved it.) The problem was, while my attention was turned elsewhere, I'd catch him looking at me. Ok, not just looking at me, but giving me the look. The steamy, I'm-a-gonna-get-you-pregnant look. (No, I don't think he was thinking about getting me pregnant, but the intensity of the look could have gotten the job done). This is a problem because we are just friends. Perhaps that's how he looks at his friends....

The Roommate was...different. First of all, we didn't make eye contact for the first 15 minutes. When we did finally speak to each other, it was to discuss game strategy and to argue over an answer. Later, he made sure not to get wedged into the booth next to me. Then he was texting most of the night (I can only assume with a girl). I felt like he was going out of his way to make sure I knew that nothing is/was/or will ever happen between us. Yes, I get it.

No, things were not as they used to be, but what can you expect? There were too many complications in the past. But we finally all hung out again and it was fine, I would even call it progress. The good news is I totally called it with June and The Hipster. (But if I lose my new single friend for a guy with tight jeans, chunky glasses and a mullet, I'm gonna be pissed!)

Birthday Booty

Now that I'm old (25! eeeek!) I have a few things to blog about, please do your best to follow along.

1. My secret affair with The Roommate has ended. He texted me at the end of last week, saying he just couldn't take the guilt/awkward situations with his roommate/my former fling, The Karaoke Kid. Obviously the situation was complicated so this is for the best. KK did not find out (as far as I know) but claims he doesn't know why I just stopped talking to him. (Seriously someone needs to teach this guy how to date a girl!). To be honest I was disappointed to no longer see The Roommate (I was just making out with him 2 days previous!). We talked about all being friends in the future but he said he just needed some time before that could happen. Why does he need time?! I feel like I could just be friends with him...as long as I'm not left alone with him....The Roommate also said I need to talk The Karaoke Kid about just being friends. The problem is KK hasn't talked to me in a while and when I tried to start a conversation with him via text, he never responded. I don't really know where I stand with either of them now, which is disappointing because they were my progress in making friends in Boston. Look where it got me! Nowhere. Fine, I'll say it: You were right. But I'll also say: It was fun while it lasted.

2. Obviously nobody wants to have things end right before their birthday, especially when all one really wants to do for their birthday is A. get birthday drunk, and B. get birthday laid. Fortunately, I don't need a man to get my drink on, yet my prospects of Birthday booty were not looking good. If this blog (Fen) has taught us anything, it's that nothing is more dangerous then a lethal combination of wine, an erotic charge (that's smart people talk for horny), and a cell phone full of numbers. After assessing myself as a High threat risk (That's color orange, people!) I needed to take some preventative measures. I've learned something in my 25 years. I deleted The Roommate's phone number before going out. I would have been embarrassed after begging him to come home with me. I also warned my roommie not to let me text and she certainly held me to it. I got yelled at everytime I had my phone out, when all I was doing was texting Violet (who was prodding me to say something TFLN worthy).

3. So if you're following along, I am drunk and manless on my birthday. However, I had a really good night out, which included delicious dessert, a whole lot of wine, and a few friends, including The Mutual Friend. For those of you who need a refresher, The Mutual Friend has been my strictly platonic friend for over a year now. He's a good friend of my old hookup, Hanging Out Guy, and he too has relocated to Boston. Everytime I've hung out with MF I have to insist to my roommie, that he is in fact, just a friend. We get along really well, have great chemistry, are very flirtatious, but by no means do we have any interest in each other. On numerous occasions I've had to tell my roommie, very matter-of-factly, "He is just a friend, it is possible to be friends with someone without sleeping with them, ya know." Until it's your birthday and you're drunk and manless that is...
I'm not really sure how this happened. Sure, I flirted with him and texted Violet that I was going to marry him, but these are all normal things! I don't know how many glasses deep we were but my wine and his rum and cokes were taking effect. Our knees were touching under the table, he was holding my hand to lead me through a crowd, he was coming home with me on the basis that we were going to have a Disney movie marathon the next day, and then he was making out with me in my kitchen. At some points I started giggling, partly because I was drunk, partly because he is sooo skinny, but mostly because it was The Mutual Friend. WTF? It's not like we haven't been drunk together before. No, it wasn't awkward the next morning, yes, I will continue to be friends with him, and yes, I had a great birthday...

I realize that I keep getting myself into these situations, but in my defense (this time at least) it was my birthday. We all deserve to be Birthday drunk, we all have the right to Birthday booty. Even if he is just a friend.

Dangerous liaisons

Two weeks ago I came to you with a situation. A situation to end all situations. You gave me advice for my dilemma of two men in one apartment, the Karaoke Kid and The Roommate. Let's be honest, I wasn't going to take just-friends-or nothing-at-all advice. That's just not my style. So I continued to seek advice until I found some advice that I liked. A very wise friend pointed out something to me. They're guys. This simple fact makes everything ok. Think about it, if this occurred with two female roommates/friends, it would be the scandal of the century. Basically because women are overly dramatic and would have to see it as choosing a guy over a friend. Guys? Not so much.

Even The Roommate agreed with this assessment. When he told his other roommate and another close friend (both of whom were there that eventful night) they both responded with a "that's awesome." They agreed, we did nothing wrong. These things happen and it's the Karaoke Kid's own fault for blowing it. (This is all his fault really). Blowing it, seems to be a common theme with him and his lady friends. (My advice to him would be to actually make an effort to date a girl, look what happens when he just lazily invites a girl out with him and his friends. Seriously, look what happens!). Although the other friends know, we still haven't let the Karaoke Kid in on the secret.

Secret liaisons are not easy. Twice now, The Roommate has had to cancel on me because he finds himself alone with the Karaoke Kid. For guys that are always doing stuff together and have all the same friends, it would be very out of character for him to up and leave with no explanation. So why haven't we (or he) told KK? Good question. I think we're waiting it out. 1. KK is a sensitive guy and The Roommate doesn't think he'll take it as well as most guys would. 2. We're not going to make it a "thing" until it's actually a "thing". We don't know what we're doing, we're just hanging out right now. And 3. The "just friends" transition is happening as we speak. I haven't seen/heard from the Karaoke Kid since I slammed the door behind me that shameful morning (other than a text and a Facebook invite to a party this weekend). When I do actually see/talk to him, I will be sure to actually mention the "just friends" transition. (Me? Actually talk about something openly? Shocking, I know).

The question of morality

I met up with Karaoke Kid and his friends on Friday night. We drank at their house. We drank at a bar. We drank at their house again. (Yes, I've been drinking a lot since moving here). Until finally, while his roommate sat playing the guitar, The Karaoke Kid passed out on the couch. It was close to 4 am at this point and I didn't want to make the long walk home. What was supposed to do?! Oh, the dilemma.

So I continued to hang out with The Roommate (cue the "uh-oh"). Not really sure how it happened but at some point I accidentally ended up spending the night. With The Roommate. In the Roommates bed. Naked. While the Karaoke Kid was in the next room. Uh-oh, indeed.

Now let me say, though my morality is questionable, it's definitely present. Or at least it finally decided to show up late in the game. We stopped short, as we both started feeling incredibly guilty. Apparently, getting into the pants of the girl your roommate/good friend is trying to get into the pants of is a no-no. And even though we are not together, and still haven't hooked up (see I do have morals!...actually I think it's KK with the morals), I was feeling really bad. Not bad enough to get dressed and leave, but bad enough to get partially dressed and continue to lay there.

The thing is, this wasn't particularly surprising. And not because it was alcohol induced. I admit I was starting to get a crush on this guy. He's just as cute as the Karaoke Kid, funnier, and he also plays the guitar. He's also flirtatiously mean to me, which for some reason I find intriguing (For example, when stating I only had maybe 3 single friends, one of which was my sister, Violet, he asked "But does she look like you? Cuz if so, I'm not interested." That definitely messed with my head, as 2 days later I was still thinking about that comment). He admitted he had a thing for me since the first time the Karaoke Kid brought me home (see Vi, he is interested!). Even so there we were, laying in bed, feeling like we were having an affair. We agreed to never speak of this to anyone (you all don't count).

To make matters worse, I had to creep by the Karaoke Kid (still asleep on the couch) to leave the apartment. After successfully unlocking and tiptoing out the door, I turn to see it slam shut behind me. I fled. 10 minutes later (still walking the walk of shame and guilt) the Karaoke Kid texts me, apologizing for passing out and asking if he had just heard me leave. Oh, the guilt.

Now what am I supposed to do?! No, seriously, tell me what I'm supposed to do. I want to still hang out with those guys but obviously this complicates things. I don't want to hurt the Karaoke Kid, nor do I want to hurt his friendship with The Roommate. I just want to hang out with them. Damn you morality, you're never on time.