In recent years, I've realized that I spend about 90% of my social life hanging out with men. In the last few months, it's become apparent: girls suck.
Don't get me wrong. I am a feminist. Which is why it irritates the hell out of me that women are our own worst enemy. When I hang out with guys, there is no drama.
Rebecca is a friend of mine and the cute neighbor. She and the cute neighbor were friends long before I entered the picture. In fact, Rebecca took advantage of the cute neighbor's mad culinary skills as often as possible and sometimes ate dinner at his place every night of the week. However, Rebecca is a bit lazy, and never helped with dinner or the clean up and the cute neighbor decided it was time to cut her off. Lucky for him, by this time he had been introduced to me, so he texted me to see if I wanted to come over for some homemade pizza. Yes, please! And the rest is history.
Recently, however, Rebecca looks for any opportunity to put me down. For awhile, she was constantly pointing out that I am shorter than she is, or the shortest one present. (I am not a short person, mind you. In most crowds, I'm even tall.) But lately, she's been aiming below the belt. As in, my lack of funds and employment. More than once, she's pointed out that I make less money than she does. The more I think about it, the more I realize she's the Rebecca to my Bridget Jones. Her nasty comments are always back handed and quick, just like a jellyfish. You don't realize you've been stung until she's moved on. A few weeks ago, we were discussing the color of my toe nails (she approved) and I mentioned my collection of purple nail polishes. To which she said, "You do your own toes? Well, I guess I had to do my own toes when I wasn't making any money."
Ouch.
When I relayed this to the cute neighbor, he shook his head and said, "She's always saying shit like that." We chalked it up to her blatant insecurity and need to build herself up. But when I retold the story to Fenella and Grayer, they both had the same reaction, which basically boiled down to, "What a bitch!"
Then last week, Rebecca came over and told the cute neighbor and me about the date she had had over the weekend. The date went great, but of course she had a problem with his physical appearance, namely, his teeth needed to be whitened. Rebecca always has a problem with their physical appearance, and it usually has to do with teeth. She went on and on about how she could get him to whiten his teeth. I was frustrated with her comments to me (she had pointed out that finding a job right now is going to be really tough), I was menstrual AND had just donated blood that day, and I started to get pissed off. Apparently, I let it show. I told her she needed to let it go about the teeth (I'm sure there was nothing wrong with them. I've seen the teeth she's complained about before, and they're fine.) and what was she looking for, a Greek god? Of course, she said she was.
Later in the week, I invited Rebecca to a game night at my place. She didn't respond. But she did leave the cute neighbor (who was out of town) a message saying they should hang out and that they haven't had much "one-on-one" time lately. I don't think this was a coincidence.
How is it that Rebecca gets a free pass to say bitchy things because that's just how she is, but I get to be the bad guy for calling her out on something she needed to be called out on? Luckily, the cute neighbor is on my team. He agreed with me and understood why I was so snippy with her. But I can't help but wonder if the bitchy things she says are just the way she is or are directly related to me and the cute neighbor. I mean, I never noticed them before we started dating... smiles-and teeth- are very important to her... the cute neighbor has a disarmingly sexy smile.... hmmmm.
See? It's always a competition with women! Why can't we all just get along? In the meantime, I'll steer clear of Rebecca for awhile. Wouldn't want to have to rely on the cute neighbor to pee on me after I've been stung.
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