It's February. We all know what that means. Valentine's day does not sneak up on a girl, it looms. Fear not ladies, liberation has come. WWBD? does not only not celebrate this silly "holiday," we simply do not believe in it. Period.
No, we are not angry bitter singles trying to take a stand against a made up holiday that only reaffirms our debilitating loneliness. (Oh, puh-lease). We're self-righteous singletons even when we're not single. This has been a firm belief that has spanned years and boyfriends. Here's why:
- Can you say commercialism? Why does "love" have to be in the form of red and pink hearts? In overpriced bouquets? In little teddy bears that say "I wuv you beary much"? In ridiculously priced jewelry and candy? I'm not quite sure who St. Valentine was, but I'm pretty sure he'd be appalled at his holiday. It's just coporate America making you feel obligated to buy a new dress, eat a the fanciest restaurant you can afford, and basically buy the love of the one you're with. Oh, and judge the one you're with for buying you that gift from the gas station on his way over. We may be in an economic crisis, but I'm sorry, I just don't want that halogram bear shaped balloon or that rose shaped condom.
- You don't need a holiday to show someone you love them. If you really truly love someone, you can show them how much you care every single day. Buying presents and spending money doesn't say love. Actions do. Simple things that say "I was thinking of you" or "I knew you'd love this." I much rather receive handpicked wildflowers in summer than overpriced roses in February. I'd rather he cook me dinner sometime, then take me out along with every other couple in America. Instead of buying me heartshaped chocolates, I want him to be at the grocery store one day and buy pistachios because he knows I've been craving them for weeks.
- Candy makes you fat. I don't know about you, but in February I'm still trying to drop those holiday pounds/keep my resolution of losing weight. Don't tempt me by showing your "love" with artificially colored/flavored sweets. Do you not know me but at all?
- It's a holiday made up by men. Yes, it's women who obsess over it and are upset when their husbands forget. But I can almost guarantee that it was men (most likely businessmen who were looking to make a few bucks) that came up with this day of love. Think about it, they have to be sweet and romantic for one day, and the rest of the year they can be complete arses. We've probably let them off the hook so many times because they've come through on February 14th. All they have to do is spend some money and boom, they're guaranteed sex with the possibility of slutty lingerie. What a deal. Break out the condom roses.
- Smug marrieds adore it. Because I hate everything smug marrieds live for, I cannot support this holiday. It's just another way they can be all smug and married in our faces, and ask us several times if we have any plans for the evening. Like we need that.
No special plans necessary. No staying in with Ben & Jerry needed. It's liberating to be a nonbeliever. Join the movement.
