Book Review: 101 Things to do Before you Turn 40

I picked up this book (by Kristin McCracken) on a whim while at the library the other day, and was pleasantly surprised by all the things I've done, even though I won't reach 40 for well over a decade. Here's a few highlights; things I've done, things I've been meaning to do, and things I refuse to do, no matter how many books tell me to do so.

• Make out with the best man- Never done it, as I have been to shockingly few weddings, and had a long-term boyfriend with me at the ones I have been to. I do have a wedding coming up this year, though. I'll be sure to pack the breath fresheners.
• Karaoke- Has been on my "to do" list for awhile. I'll probably need more than one cosmo before the fact.
• Scuba dive- No. Uh-uh. This is going to sound weird, but I'm afraid of fish. Therapy may have to be involved before I do this one.
• Remove it- We're talking about hair here, and as soon as I have a spare couple of thousands of dollars, I'm taking it to the derm, who will finally get rid of all that unwanted body hair. Free at last!
• Rent the classics- I just checked out Breakfast at Tiffany's from the library the other day, a friend and I took in Roman Holiday at an old movie theather, and the ex-IB and I discovered together that we both love Casablanca but hate A Streetcar Named Desire. Excellent start.
• Accentuate the positive- The author and I are on the same page with this one, and I think it's especially true now when so many of us don't have a job. She hits the nail on the head by asking, "It nothing good is happening in your life, then whose fault is that?" (In case you're wondering, the answer is you.)
• Go to Paris- Ah, Paris. Easily one of my favorite cities in the world. Yes, I have been there before, but with my mother. While we had a fantastic time, I do hope to go back one day with a lov-ah. Or at least find a lov-ah while I'm there.
• Master a mass-transit system, but know how to hail a taxi- In my opinion, this one is big. I know I'm not the norm, but I've used dozens of public transit systems around the world. I know I can fly to any city in the world, and get to my destination all by myself, and if that destination is English-speaking? Cake! Even if you're not a globe-trekker, it's so much easier to visit that friend in the city and be able to take off on your own, rather than rely on him/her to play tour guide.
• Vibrate- Sex toy parties are all the rage, so this one shouldn't be too tricky to accomplish.
• Boycott February 14- Yes! Another member of the revolution!
• Kiss the Frogs- Yes, we're all looking for Prince Charming, but in order to do so? You've got to kiss some frogs first. And have fun doing it.
• Go to a movie alone- I do this one all the time. I don't find too many things more annoying than someone talking to me while I'm in a movie theater, so going alone is perfect. It's especially great on a weekday afternoon; there are usually only 3-4 other people in the theater, and they are most likely alone too.
• Lose gracefully- This is a tough one. If I took a Friends personality test, I would most likely be Monica (although I don't clean and organize obsessively). I am ultra-competitive, from mini-golf to bowling to Scrabble.
• Sleep under the stars- Repeat after me: Sleeping in an RV (or anything with stairs) is not camping.
• Have a male friend- Ah, yes. We recently asked if this was possible in a recent Question of the Week, and while the author does admit it can be tricky, she also points out that there are always exceptions.
• Learn to tango- I took a few tango lessons in Argentina (because I go straight to the source!), but this is one dance I really want to master. It's just so damn sexy.
• Go somewhere that makes people scratch their heads- I've done this one over and over, and I highly recommend it. I started young, as our family rarely ever just went on a "beach" vacation, but traveled all over the country, just going to new places (with tent and other camping equipment in tow). Then, while I was in high school, we went to Iceland over the Thanksgiving holiday, which really had people scratching their heads. And look at the trend we started! Iceland is THE hot European destination these days.
• Figure out what you want to be when you grow up- Good luck with this one.

So what's on your list of things to do before you turn 40? Or your Bucket List for that matter.

The Year of Yes

Someone was recently telling me about a memoir called The Year of Yes by Maria Dahvana Headley. I was reminded of this book by Violet's New Year's resolution to say yes to all date offers, no matter what her initial opinion of the offerer. (I'm assuming this includes locals in Violet's hometown?)

Like us the author of this book was frustrated with the dating scene and she decided to say yes to all date offers. I plan to read Headley's memoir and review it on this blog. Maybe it will motivate me to say "yes" with less pessimism.

Here is a brief summary of the book if you are interested:
"Why not go out on a date with everyone who asks you? Plenty of reasons. They might be crazy. They might be creepy. They might be something other than what you're looking for. But then again, how would you know? Isn't love supposed to be blind? Isn't it supposed to be about who the person really is, not about what they look like?" "The Year of Yes is an account of one woman's quest to find a man she can stand (for longer than a couple of hours). Frustrated by her own pitiful taste, writer Maria Headley decided to leave her love life up to fate, going out with everyone who asked her: homeless men, taxi drivers and yes, even a couple of women. Opening her heart and mind to the possibility that her perfect match might be the person she least expected, she spent twelve months dating most of New York City."--BOOK JACKET.

What part of He's Just Not that Into You do you not understand?

Ladies, we are smart creatures. Some may argue the smartest. We are capable of running large corporations, giving birth, holding high political office, and even running for President. So why, when it comes to an attractive chap, do we forget about all these things that we're capable of and turn into insecure maniacs? This is why every girl needs a copy of He's Just Not That Into You (Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo) to keep handy every time you want to call up a girlfriend to dissect last night's date's body language. I don't believe in "self-help" books, or even dating books, since most of them are complete crap, (which is why we've included a list of the only books of that sort that are worth your time on our page) but this one is necessary.

Behrendt claims that "men are not that complicated, although they'd like you to think they are." Turns out, if they're into us, they'll let us know. What? No games? If our girl Bridget read this, it would BLOW HER MIND.

Apparently, it's all very simple. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out, not calling you (DON'T call him), not dating you, not having sex with you, having sex with someone else, only wants to see you when he's drunk, he's disappeared on you, breaking up with you, doesn't want to marry you (so if you're still holding out for that ring after 8 years, it's best to call it a day), he's married, or if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak.

Now, I've been disappeared on, but that didn't really have that much of an effect on me. (You remember The Heavy Breather, right?) But I am embarrassed to say that after my ex-imaginary boyfriend suggested that we go back to "just being friends," I didn't really believe him. Don't ask me why or how I was capable of this kind of stupidity, but sadly, it's true. I figured it was only a matter of time before he came to his senses and came crawling back. Then I read this book. When I read the words "100% of men polled said that when they broke up with someone, it always meant that they didn't want to go out with them anymore," I almost called up my alma mater and offered to give back my degree. It's so simple!

Yes, we all want to find someone to live out our old age with, but don't we all deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is seriously into us? I know that Greg has never met me, but when he says that I'm a foxy, smart, funny woman who deserves better, I believe him.

So dump the bum, get out there, and find the man who thinks you're a goddess!

Book Review: How to be Single

When I first spotted How To Be Single on the bookshelf, I thought to myself: I should read that. You know, to make sure I'm doing it right. But HTBS is not a how-to book, it's a novel about a woman writing a how-to book. Written by Liz Tuccillo, who co-wrote one of our favorites, He's Just Not That Into You (which I'll be reviewing soon), the story starts out by introducing the reader to a single, 38-year old New Yorker and her four friends. One of the friends is on the rebound after her husband left her for a much younger samba instructor, another can't get herself out of bed because her cat just died (three months ago), one hasn't had sex in several years and decides to take a vow of celibacy in search of spiritual enlightenment, and the other quit her job as a lawyer so she can search for Mr. Right full-time. All this prompts the main character to take off on a trip around the world, trying to figure out if other cultures know how to be single better than we do.

The book got off to an excellent start, full of great pearls of wisdom. If I hadn't been reading a borrowed copy, I probably would have highlighted a few passages, but here are a few examples:

• In the good old days, online dating was considered a hideous embarrassment, something that no one would be caught dead admitting to... Now the reaction you will get from people when they hear that you're single and not doing some form of online dating is that you must not really want it that bad. It has become the bottom line, the litmus test for how much you're willing to do for love... If you're not willing to spend the 1,500 hours, 39 coffees, 47 dinners, and 432 drinks to meet him, then you just don't want to meet him badly enough and you deserve to grow old and die alone.
• I don't think you can ever just sit back and let love just find you. Love isn't that clever.
• ...a big part of being single. Hope. Friends. And making sure you get out of your damn apartment.

But this is not a book that will actually teach you how to be single, and at the two-thirds point through the end, actually gets a bit depressing. Despite the author's tendency to start sentences with "so," I would recommend it. Just don't expect to find a life map for how to be single.