A couple weeks ago, I tested out a love spell to see if anything would happen. It's been almost two weeks, and I can confidently report that this particular love spell is a bust. Nothing, nada, zilch.
But is it the love spells failure, or my lack of guapo points?
My guapo points theory is my explanation for my recent dry spell in the romance department. Earlier this year, while traveling, I had a bit of a fling with a chico muy guapo in South America. He was everything I never go for, the complete opposite of my type. (Guapo is Spanish for hottie.) The ladies even gave him the nickname "Guapo." He taught me how to dance the salsa (earning him the nickname "McSalsa") and even made it necessary to coin the phrase "lip molestation." Obviously, it was short-lived, but we had a week, which is more than some people get in a lifetime. (Dramatic/Sarcastic sigh)
The year got off to a red-hot start, but ever since? Zero, nada, zilch. Which made me start to wonder. Normally, I go for cute, nerdy guys. Not dungeons and dragons nerds, Weezer nerds. Last year, I exclusively dated guybrarians (and not on purpose). I've sworn them off for the time being. But like dating the captain of the football team, what if Guapo/McSalsa was a bit out of my league and I used up all my hypothetical guapo points?
Let's say I get 25 guapo points in a year. Men are assigned a point value, based not on their character, but on their WOW factor: Half a point being Dungeons and Dragons types who still live in their mom's basement, and 25 being the guy that give women whiplash when they walk by. Therefore, Jim Halpert is probably "only" a 10, because, while he is obviously painfully adorable, most of his perfection lies in his sweetness and sense of humor. Brad Pitt, meanwhile, is a 25 due to his outright hotness.
Guapo was around a 23. Seriously. Therefore, I only have two guapo points left in the year, and do I really want to stoop so low? Am I really that desperate? Ask again in a month, but I surely hope not.
"But what about those girls that seem to go from one guapo to another?" I'm glad you asked. Those girls, through a deal with The Devil, have been awarded hundreds of guapo points. As a result, they don't have many girlfriends, and therefore do not participate on this blog.
The Guapo Points Theory (GPT) may have been invented as a way to make me feel better about my lack of excitement, but I think it makes perfect sense.
5 comments:
I think we should add guapo points and the GPT to our dating dictionary, no?
If this gaupo points theory is correct, when does the gaupo calendar year begin. I think I have plenty left for this year and I would like to know where the hell to redeem them.
Question: Are they rollover??
In order to redeem your guapo points, you must visit your local bar, gym, matchmaking website, or anywhere else you might meet men. Because you can't meet new men at home. And I highly doubt they are rollover. Use them or lose them.
Violet, I see that your theory has become more developed. I am disappointed to hear that you have rejected the idea of rollover guapo points.
Is time a factor? Would you have expended the same amount of guapo points in one date with McSalsa as you would in a week? Based on my experience, I would like to petition for bonus guapo points to compensate for such thing as dates with Dungeon and Dragon guys.
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