I deserve a medal or something.
Yesterday, I had the option to screw over my ex-imaginary boyfriend in a big way. I didn't. I helped him.
I got a message yesterday that every girl dreads receiving from an imaginary boyfriend. Mere weeks ago, it would have sent me running under the covers, only to emerge for hydration, ice cream, and the bathroom, eyes swollen shut from crying too much. It read, "I need girl advice."
Instead of going into sugar shock, I simply asked him how I could be of service. I mean, no one knows his mistakes in love and war more than me. He sent me a simple outline of his current problem, which is a bit of a pickle. Essentially, he meets girl #1, who he really likes, only girl #1 has a boyfriend, so she introduces him to her friend, girl #2, whom he also likes, but not quite as much as girl #1. Girl #2 admits her feelings for him just as he finds out girl #1 is now single. He said he would call me for discussion.
While I waited for his phone call, (something I'm well practiced in) I realized that I had the opportunity to screw him over. And who would blame me? I could tell him to go after both girls (jerk) or, better yet, forget about them, but I didn't. I realized that I have zero interest in him anymore romantically (wooooo hooooooo!), even if it stings initially to hear that he digs another girl like he dug me once upon a time.
It was a bizarre experience, having a lengthy phone conversation about his love life, but it really wasn't that painful. I was scathingly honest with him. He wouldn't have called me if he wasn't looking for honesty. And I did tell him that my initial reaction was to call both these girls and warn him, because he sucks at this. I told him if he would always wonder what could have been if he just told #1 how he felt, he couldn't just "settle" for #2, even if she's quite the catch. Unfortunately for him, these girls are good friends, which will most likely leave him out in the cold. We girls know we can't go out with a friend's crush.
And when it was over, I was still standing. I wasn't crying, or shaking, or breaking out in a cold sweat. I didn't feel sick to my stomach, or like curling up and dying. In fact, I was happy that he called on me. See, McNerdy doesn't like to talk about his personal life, (which is one reason I never knew what our status was) so I'm quite proud that I was the one he called upon to help out in this situation.
Besides, I'm sure I'm prettier than either of them.
No comments:
Post a Comment