Operation Papa Smurf

Back in the days before Vi has her Potential Actual Boyfriend / Actual Boyfriend / whatever his title is right now, she was on the lookout for a new booty call. As I was visiting her in the near future I decided, being the amazing friend that I am, that I would help her out with finding a new man to satisfy all her needs and desires. We named it Operation Papa Smurf. Why Operation Papa Smurf? Why not!

However, now that Vi has her Potential Actual Boyfriend / Actual Boyfriend / whatever his title is right now, Operation Papa Smurf has been put on the shelf to gather dust. This has to change, a plan with such a great name has to be put to good use. Enter Fen.

Ever since that random evening with Posh Work Guy he's been on my mind. A lot. Reassuringly, for my sanity, I haven't been thinking about him because I like him but because it's been awhile since I've had any action. And before anyone starts mentioning my sleepovers with McNerdy and indeed PWG a few weeks ago allow me to clarify: there's action and then there's action. Normally, going long periods of time without action doesn't bother me. Except something has snapped and I have now decided that I need action. Enter Posh Work Guy.

My problem is deciphering whether PWG is willing to be my booty call. I have to tread carefully here because I work with him and thus see him everyday. So embarrassing myself would be extra embarrassing. This means drunk texts are a no go area. And while having a similar "I shaved my legs for this" incident like Vi did would get the point across, if it went wrong I'd have to see him the next day. Tricky. I did take control of the situation by inviting him out for drinks on Friday which he had to decline but had a genuine reason and said that we should definitely reschedule, this seems like a good sign. My next plan is to see what happens next week, we have someone's leaving drinks after work. A little bit of alcohol always helps right?

Let Operation Papa Smurf commence!

Take the lead

If Violet's recent kissing crusade was any evidence, women seem to have problems taking initiative in physical aspects of a "relationship." Sure, we've evolved to not wait around for the phone call, we even can ask men on dates, so what is with this hesitance to get what we need (yes, women have needs), nay, get what we deserve? Like Violet, why do we need to get all liquored up before making a first move? Just imagine if men had to do that. There would be drunken idiots everywhere (like, even more so than there already are).

I am not one to criticize, and only in my current non-relationship am I realizing just how much I depend on a man to make the moves. Hanging Out Guy was shy from the start and even though we've been hanging out since January (luckily I have records of our pseudo-courtship here on WWBD?), he really hasn't gotten better. I have to admit, after scheduling conflicts and of course Boston sports preventing us getting together for a while there, I haven't even kissed the guy in over a month. I know. A month. And if I haven't mentioned it before, I love to make out, almost as much as I love boys. And I Looooove boys.

So here's what I think has happened. The comfort level that we got to physically, has significantly decreased, while our natural female inhibition has returned (I say "our female inhibition" because I really think he should be grouped with ladies in the "taking the lead" category). I swear the only thing stopping me from jumping him, is the fact that I don't know if he now wants to be just friends, although it'd be surprising (because when do guys ever want to be just friends when there's benefits in the equation?). I don't understand this, especially when his friends seem to think we're "together" and he refuses to let me pay for things. Whatever the case, this insecurity is making me more timid than usual.

So, in light of Violet's recent lip-locking heroics, I pledge get some action this weekend, that is, if I see him. Ah hell, I pledge to get some action no matter what. Viva la Singletonhood!