Wanna hear about some dates? Of course you do!
Last week I went on four dates. chyeah, that only happens in the online world.
First there was a coffee date with a 24 year old who seems to be straight out of college. Firstly, why do I go on coffee dates when I don't like coffee? Secondly, I'm glad he's finally living on his own from his adoptive parents and dog. He asked me if I wanted to help him shop for baby presents sometime. Ummm...maybe?
Next was drinks with a nervous architect dude. I don't remember what we talked about other than that he kept saying "Well this has been fun". That's something you say at the end when you're saying goodbyes. Not several times in the middle. Awkward. Also, I outdrank him. I downed my beer while he milked his and then didn't even finish it. A guy who can't finish a beer?! Next! He invited me on a date to the Art Museum, which I'd be down for if it wasn't so gorgeous out. And also, he's not terribly interesting and obviously hasn't dated much. Oh yeah, and he can't finish a beer! (And yes, I do judge him for it).
I had a dinner date with a dorky financial guy who lives in New Hampshire. We met in the middle and he paid. He's definitely been the easiest to make conversation with by far and I did have a good time. Things went south when we drove to a miniature golf course (by far one of the nicest courses I've ever seen, and I don't mean to brag, but I've seen a lot of mini golf courses) only to find it closed for the night. We drive to a bar he knows of, only to find it closed for renovations. Apparently it wasn't meant to be. I'd definitely hang out with him again, but I have no interest in dating him.
The last date was over the weekend. My holiday weekend kind of sucked due to all of my friends being out of town. That, and me being ridiculously allergic to something in my friends house when I stopped by to feed her cat. I'm talking serious allergies, with itchy eyes so bad that my right eye swelled up so that I could only half open it. It was an attractive look, might I say. I actually would have been freaking out about my blood-shot ballooning eye (think Splinter Induced Delirium, but on my face!) had it not been for the allergy medication subduing me. I spent most of the weekend in a Benadryl-induced coma, which I came out of just long enough to go on a date. I told this guy about it (my eye was still a bit puffy) which got us on the subject of cats. He seemed concerned that I was allergic to my friends cat. Doubtful, I have a cat of my own. He used to have a cat, until he died this past winter. I'm not even joking when I say, I thought this guy was going to cry. Seriously, his eyes were welling up as he told me the sob story. Don't get me wrong, it was a sad story (his cat died in his arms on their way to the vet's office, and surprisingly, he was only 7) and I can literally start crying at the very thought of losing my beloved Mr. Kitty Meowington. But dude, please don't cry on our first date about your cat. I am not a big enough person to handle that gracefully. I will inevitably make a joke about wanting to be with cats on rainbows (if you haven't seen this video, watch it. You'll never call me a crazy cat lady ever again) and having a house full of them so we can just roll around together. That's what I do when I feel awkward, I make ill-timed jokes. I don't really remember anything else we talked about during the one beer we drank. It was a short date, ending with a "I'll drop you a line sometime". We both know that I'll never be hearing from the Cat Cryer ever again.
Showing posts with label first date. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first date. Show all posts
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
First and Second
Two weeks ago I was at a bar, celebrating (yet secretly crying on the inside) the last day of work for my good friend/co-worker, K$. We were a couple beers in when we started talking to the guy sitting next to me, who I had noticed had previously been sitting on the other side of K$. He was fun, a big guy who had the personality of a teddy bear. If he were standing outside of a bar, I would immediately given him my ID, he looks like a bouncer. After K$ left, I stayed and hung out, we exchanged numbers, and I met him out later on in the week. I realized the reason why I liked him the first time, he thinks I'm funny. (I like people who think I'm funny). But that's about all I like about him. He's kind of old, he smokes, and he tells really boring stories. But he does think I'm funny. ..
It was pretty clear he was trying to date me. Ugh, why does he have to try to date me? Why can't we just get drinks every once and a while after work, at the bar he gets free drinks at? He can laugh at everything I say, get me drunk, and then not try to kiss me. That would be perfect. My outings with the bouncer reminded me of something: I like when guys take me out, laugh at my jokes and tell me I look pretty. It reminded me I do want to date, I just don't want to date him.
So I reactivated my OkCupid account, updated it, and then promptly ignored it. After all, I've been busy, looking for a new job is like having a second job. However, I logged on one day and stayed on (mostly because my friend called and I left it open) and low and behold, guys started messaging me. One guy in particular actually got me responding. Financial Frank works on mutual funds downtown. I have no idea what that means, but I've wanted to date a rich guy for almost forever, and the financial district is a step in the right direction. More importantly he seemed to have quite a personality and actually made me laugh. He also lives in my area. I suggested we meet for drinks. He suggested we have a phone date first (seriously? who does that? who actually likes talking on the phone?). I talked to him that night for an hour and a half! I don't even talk to Violet for that long! I don't even know what we talked about! He did explain to me why he likes to talk to people on the phone first (it involves a smelly girl with a lisp) and it's a pretty funny story.
On Wednesday we finally meet for our drinks. Things went well. Not gonna lie, I got a little drunk. Tipsy drunk, not "I'm going to make bad decisions" drunk. He paid for the beers and we start walking in the general direction of our houses (turns out we live close, like, really close). At the corner where we are to go our separate ways, he kisses me. Damn, he's a good kisser. He decides he'll just walk me home, I let him. We walk through the park. He kisses me again. Before you know it, we're full on making out under a tree in the park. Not just under a tree, up against a tree. It. was. hot. We recompose. This is ridiculous. We're making out in a public park. There's roaming hands involved. What are we, high schoolers? We walk the remaining block. We talk on my front steps. We make out a little more and say good night.
I come into my house feeling slightly mortified about what just happened. I don't usually kiss a guy on a first date. Not because I'm against it, but because I'm so damn awkward that I don't know what to do and end up giving him a weird hug while mumbling brainless pleasantries like a fool. But that was not awkward, at all. I'm in the kitchen, my face still red, when my roommate Bernard comes in. "So, who ya makin' out with on the porch?" He had been sitting on our balcony, observing it all (luckily he couldn't see the park from there). I felt like I had just been caught red handed by my father. But then, unlike my father, Bernard proudly says, "Look at you, gettin' ass on a Wednesday." And yeah, I was kind of proud of myself too.
It was pretty clear he was trying to date me. Ugh, why does he have to try to date me? Why can't we just get drinks every once and a while after work, at the bar he gets free drinks at? He can laugh at everything I say, get me drunk, and then not try to kiss me. That would be perfect. My outings with the bouncer reminded me of something: I like when guys take me out, laugh at my jokes and tell me I look pretty. It reminded me I do want to date, I just don't want to date him.
So I reactivated my OkCupid account, updated it, and then promptly ignored it. After all, I've been busy, looking for a new job is like having a second job. However, I logged on one day and stayed on (mostly because my friend called and I left it open) and low and behold, guys started messaging me. One guy in particular actually got me responding. Financial Frank works on mutual funds downtown. I have no idea what that means, but I've wanted to date a rich guy for almost forever, and the financial district is a step in the right direction. More importantly he seemed to have quite a personality and actually made me laugh. He also lives in my area. I suggested we meet for drinks. He suggested we have a phone date first (seriously? who does that? who actually likes talking on the phone?). I talked to him that night for an hour and a half! I don't even talk to Violet for that long! I don't even know what we talked about! He did explain to me why he likes to talk to people on the phone first (it involves a smelly girl with a lisp) and it's a pretty funny story.
On Wednesday we finally meet for our drinks. Things went well. Not gonna lie, I got a little drunk. Tipsy drunk, not "I'm going to make bad decisions" drunk. He paid for the beers and we start walking in the general direction of our houses (turns out we live close, like, really close). At the corner where we are to go our separate ways, he kisses me. Damn, he's a good kisser. He decides he'll just walk me home, I let him. We walk through the park. He kisses me again. Before you know it, we're full on making out under a tree in the park. Not just under a tree, up against a tree. It. was. hot. We recompose. This is ridiculous. We're making out in a public park. There's roaming hands involved. What are we, high schoolers? We walk the remaining block. We talk on my front steps. We make out a little more and say good night.
I come into my house feeling slightly mortified about what just happened. I don't usually kiss a guy on a first date. Not because I'm against it, but because I'm so damn awkward that I don't know what to do and end up giving him a weird hug while mumbling brainless pleasantries like a fool. But that was not awkward, at all. I'm in the kitchen, my face still red, when my roommate Bernard comes in. "So, who ya makin' out with on the porch?" He had been sitting on our balcony, observing it all (luckily he couldn't see the park from there). I felt like I had just been caught red handed by my father. But then, unlike my father, Bernard proudly says, "Look at you, gettin' ass on a Wednesday." And yeah, I was kind of proud of myself too.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
You're doing it wrong
I went on a date last night. With a boy that gives out his number on slapon bracelets. Who I drunkenly texted. Who soberly texted me back. Who gets major style points for bracelets and roses. Who kills it on the follow through.
What the hell?! I remembered him being adorable. And funny. Yeah, not so much. His glasses, his combed hair, his knee-length pea coat. It sort of screamed douche. There was just something about him that really....annoyed me. I can't quite pinpoint why. Perhaps it was his slow uninteresting stories. Perhaps it was him mocking my sarcasm and not getting my jokes. Perhaps it was him insisting that I watch a YouTube video that he had made. Maybe it was when he asked me if I wanted to be his teammate for an eating challenge: 5 pound burger and 5 pounds of fries (Oh, my heart). He lost me when he told me he really wanted to move back to Alabama and start a family. He really lost me when he got out his iPhone to show me pictures of his parents. Duuuuude. You're doing it wrong. Something tells me I won't be seeing him again.
- I met him last Saturday. Last Tuesday he texts me to ask if I'd like to get drinks during the week. I said yes. He said he'd get in touch with me later on in the week.
- On Wednesday he asked me if I wanted to join him and his friends at for Brazilian BBQ that night. I claimed a long day at work. A first meeting with him and a group of friends? A sober me and a group of people I don't know, doesn't really mix well. I clam up.
- On Friday he texts me at 10:15 pm asking if I wanted to meet up with him and his friends half way across town. Dude. You're doing it wrong. Doesn't he know that I was on my way home from a dinner party and all I wanted to do was crochet while catching up on Hulu?! No, he doesn't know that because we still hadn't gone on a date (which means he shouldn't be last minute texting me to hang with his friends).
- On Monday he texts to ask if I wanted to get drinks that night. I had plans. Why is this guy incapable of planning ahead? I say I'm busy tonight, how about tomorrow? Holy crap, we actually made plans to meet up.
What the hell?! I remembered him being adorable. And funny. Yeah, not so much. His glasses, his combed hair, his knee-length pea coat. It sort of screamed douche. There was just something about him that really....annoyed me. I can't quite pinpoint why. Perhaps it was his slow uninteresting stories. Perhaps it was him mocking my sarcasm and not getting my jokes. Perhaps it was him insisting that I watch a YouTube video that he had made. Maybe it was when he asked me if I wanted to be his teammate for an eating challenge: 5 pound burger and 5 pounds of fries (Oh, my heart). He lost me when he told me he really wanted to move back to Alabama and start a family. He really lost me when he got out his iPhone to show me pictures of his parents. Duuuuude. You're doing it wrong. Something tells me I won't be seeing him again.
Friday, November 5, 2010
The sweater situation
I had a date the other night with a new guy. I have to say I've really lost interest in the whole OkCupid thing but I'm persevering. Partly for your reading entertainment, and partly because I don't want to put too much hope on Jonny Damon. Sure, he's great but we all know The Disappearance can take place anytime, and to anyone. Plus, this new guy is a serious traveler. If there's someone I at least have to meet/give a chance, it's a serious traveler.
We had plans to meet at a bar after work, more specifically he told me he was waiting at the end of the bar. When I got to the bar the only man at the end was clearly 45 years old, at least. Holy crap, how did I accidentally make a date with a man clearly 20 years older than me? I text him that I'm there. The old man moves to get his phone. Damn, my not looking at profile pictures closely enough! I start planning my get away. I start thinking of how to hide the disgust that is currently all over my face. I start looking at the guy walking towards me. The much younger, fairly attractive man, that appears to be smiling at me. The man in the hooded zipup alpaca sweater. The man in the alpaca sweater with llamas on it. I'm going on a date with a man wearing an alpaca sweater, decorated with llamas. What the hell?
What's a guy thinking wearing a llama ridden sweater out in Boston? He wasn't even a hipster. Don't get me wrong. I've been to Peru, I've seen my fair share of sweaters made out of alpaca wool. All of which seem to have llamas on them. Violet and Fenella have even lived in Peru. But outside of Peru, would you ever want to date a man wearing one? At least he wasn't 45.
The Alpaca Sweater turned out to be an ok guy. He has traveled quite a bit, including a stint in the Peace Corps in Ecuador and a trip to Peru, where he picked up that little number. He also lives extremely close to me, which would be very convenient. He was an ok guy. But with or without llamas bounding across his chest, he's really nothing to get excited about.
We had plans to meet at a bar after work, more specifically he told me he was waiting at the end of the bar. When I got to the bar the only man at the end was clearly 45 years old, at least. Holy crap, how did I accidentally make a date with a man clearly 20 years older than me? I text him that I'm there. The old man moves to get his phone. Damn, my not looking at profile pictures closely enough! I start planning my get away. I start thinking of how to hide the disgust that is currently all over my face. I start looking at the guy walking towards me. The much younger, fairly attractive man, that appears to be smiling at me. The man in the hooded zipup alpaca sweater. The man in the alpaca sweater with llamas on it. I'm going on a date with a man wearing an alpaca sweater, decorated with llamas. What the hell?
What's a guy thinking wearing a llama ridden sweater out in Boston? He wasn't even a hipster. Don't get me wrong. I've been to Peru, I've seen my fair share of sweaters made out of alpaca wool. All of which seem to have llamas on them. Violet and Fenella have even lived in Peru. But outside of Peru, would you ever want to date a man wearing one? At least he wasn't 45.
The Alpaca Sweater turned out to be an ok guy. He has traveled quite a bit, including a stint in the Peace Corps in Ecuador and a trip to Peru, where he picked up that little number. He also lives extremely close to me, which would be very convenient. He was an ok guy. But with or without llamas bounding across his chest, he's really nothing to get excited about.
Monday, October 25, 2010
You had me at HGTV.
I need to gush about my most recent date to someone. That someone is you.
On Saturday I went out with Jonny Damon, not the real Johnny Damon (that would be craaaazy), but a guy who I will be calling Jonny Damon for several reasons. 1. Red Sox fan (JD played for the Sox) 2. Beard (in all it's glory) 3. Wicked cute (women would probably be wearing his face on tshirts).
I had high hopes for Jonny Damon. So high that I was really excited/nervous about our first meeting. He doesn't live in the city so I met him halfway for dinner. Yes, dinner for our first meeting, very risky. But I had a good feeling about JD, and I also had to drive 15 minutes so yeah, I was going to eat dinner. Firstly, let me tell you how cute he is. He is sooooo cuuuuuute. Light brown hair, blue eyes, well trimmed beard. He is fun to look at. I almost question if he is too hot for me (but then I remember I am awesome).
Secondly, let me tell you how cool he is. He's freaking awesome. He's funny and he thinks I'm funny, which is extremely important to me. He has a degree in elementary education and wants to teach the second grade (how cute is that?). Until he finds a teaching job he's been doing carpentry (how hot is that?). We have a lot in common. He appreciates 90s Nickelodeon tv just as much, if not more than I do (he owns all episodes of Salute your Shorts and Are you afraid of the Dark?!). He loves doing home renovations and watches a lot of HGTV (I can not be torn away from renovation/home shows on HGTV!). He collects sea glass (I just went to a sea glass festival!). I could go on and on.
We met for dinner at 7:30, it was packed. We left around midnight, it was completely deserted. So yes, I think it's safe to say it went pretty well. I think we made plans for 4 possible dates in the future. Things we really want to do but no one else wants to do with us (like horror movies and brewery tours). I can't get to excited about that yet, one day at a time right? He texted me today, just to tell me he had a great time on Saturday and that he hopes he can see me this weekend. This made me ridiculously happy. Boy, you can see me anytime you want. Did I mention how cute he is? He's soooo cuuuute.
In the meantime, I not going to turn off OkCupid. As Violet put it, "In dating, you can't put all your eggs in one basket." But me liking Jonny Damon so much really made me question if I should see the 35 year old again. Which I guess I should. Jonny Damon after all will probably have a date this week so why shouldn't I?
On Saturday I went out with Jonny Damon, not the real Johnny Damon (that would be craaaazy), but a guy who I will be calling Jonny Damon for several reasons. 1. Red Sox fan (JD played for the Sox) 2. Beard (in all it's glory) 3. Wicked cute (women would probably be wearing his face on tshirts).
I had high hopes for Jonny Damon. So high that I was really excited/nervous about our first meeting. He doesn't live in the city so I met him halfway for dinner. Yes, dinner for our first meeting, very risky. But I had a good feeling about JD, and I also had to drive 15 minutes so yeah, I was going to eat dinner. Firstly, let me tell you how cute he is. He is sooooo cuuuuuute. Light brown hair, blue eyes, well trimmed beard. He is fun to look at. I almost question if he is too hot for me (but then I remember I am awesome).
Secondly, let me tell you how cool he is. He's freaking awesome. He's funny and he thinks I'm funny, which is extremely important to me. He has a degree in elementary education and wants to teach the second grade (how cute is that?). Until he finds a teaching job he's been doing carpentry (how hot is that?). We have a lot in common. He appreciates 90s Nickelodeon tv just as much, if not more than I do (he owns all episodes of Salute your Shorts and Are you afraid of the Dark?!). He loves doing home renovations and watches a lot of HGTV (I can not be torn away from renovation/home shows on HGTV!). He collects sea glass (I just went to a sea glass festival!). I could go on and on.
We met for dinner at 7:30, it was packed. We left around midnight, it was completely deserted. So yes, I think it's safe to say it went pretty well. I think we made plans for 4 possible dates in the future. Things we really want to do but no one else wants to do with us (like horror movies and brewery tours). I can't get to excited about that yet, one day at a time right? He texted me today, just to tell me he had a great time on Saturday and that he hopes he can see me this weekend. This made me ridiculously happy. Boy, you can see me anytime you want. Did I mention how cute he is? He's soooo cuuuute.
In the meantime, I not going to turn off OkCupid. As Violet put it, "In dating, you can't put all your eggs in one basket." But me liking Jonny Damon so much really made me question if I should see the 35 year old again. Which I guess I should. Jonny Damon after all will probably have a date this week so why shouldn't I?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Throwing in the Cyber Towel
Just under a month ago I signed up for online dating. At first, I found it lots of fun. Lots of guys were adding me to their favourites, I was getting emails, it was all good. I even took the plunge and met up with someone. After making it through the first date I was all go to meet up with more people. And then, as quickly as the emails and favourites came flooding in, they disappeared.
It's been over a week and nothing. Nada. It was a little depressing at first, I find rejection difficult enough to deal with without it coming from someone I haven't even met. Vi said that online dating can be streaky and I would agree with that. So I'm not too bothered about the quiet spell.
Except that the more I think about it, the more I want to throw in the cyber towel. I still don't like the idea of it. I'd much rather meet someone by chance then meet them because they saw my profile. 'But', I hear you exclaim, 'so would most people'! So true. But I don't think I've given leaving things to fate or whatever you want to call it enough of a chance. I'm getting more of a social life in London, the more of a social life the more people you meet.
I'll keep my profile until May because that's when my 'membership' expires. After that I won't be renewing it. I'm glad I tried it, and it's nice knowing that it's there. But for now, I'll try meeting guys the old-fashioned way.
It's been over a week and nothing. Nada. It was a little depressing at first, I find rejection difficult enough to deal with without it coming from someone I haven't even met. Vi said that online dating can be streaky and I would agree with that. So I'm not too bothered about the quiet spell.
Except that the more I think about it, the more I want to throw in the cyber towel. I still don't like the idea of it. I'd much rather meet someone by chance then meet them because they saw my profile. 'But', I hear you exclaim, 'so would most people'! So true. But I don't think I've given leaving things to fate or whatever you want to call it enough of a chance. I'm getting more of a social life in London, the more of a social life the more people you meet.
I'll keep my profile until May because that's when my 'membership' expires. After that I won't be renewing it. I'm glad I tried it, and it's nice knowing that it's there. But for now, I'll try meeting guys the old-fashioned way.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
First Date Done!
Apologies WWBD? I have neglected you so. However, I have set aside some time to pay you the attention you so rightly deserve!
Friday night, for once, was date night. I took the plunge and met up with someone I met online. We had been emailing for awhile and his emails were friendly and funny so I decided that what was the point in joining a dating site if I wasn't going to be brave and meet someone.
We arranged to meet at a particular underground station. There was a bit of confusion on my part because this particular underground station has about 6 different exits, but I managed in the end!
Harry Potter (he works in films and has worked on the Harry Potter movies) and I went for a very nice dinner. Conversation started a bit stilted but luckily I love movies so we found plenty to talk about. I felt relaxed and comfortable around him and I was having a good time. After dinner we headed to another place for a drink and then to the underground station where he said he would like to see me again and then we headed our separate ways. I've had a few friendly texts from him since then.
Conclusion? I had a good time and I'm glad I went. He's a nice guy and we got on well. I don't want to make any final decisions based on a first date but in terms of romance? I didn't really get any of those type vibes. However, as Vi said, she felt the same way about John Boy...so if he asks me out again I'll say yes. I'm just glad I got the first date out of the way!
Friday night, for once, was date night. I took the plunge and met up with someone I met online. We had been emailing for awhile and his emails were friendly and funny so I decided that what was the point in joining a dating site if I wasn't going to be brave and meet someone.
We arranged to meet at a particular underground station. There was a bit of confusion on my part because this particular underground station has about 6 different exits, but I managed in the end!
Harry Potter (he works in films and has worked on the Harry Potter movies) and I went for a very nice dinner. Conversation started a bit stilted but luckily I love movies so we found plenty to talk about. I felt relaxed and comfortable around him and I was having a good time. After dinner we headed to another place for a drink and then to the underground station where he said he would like to see me again and then we headed our separate ways. I've had a few friendly texts from him since then.
Conclusion? I had a good time and I'm glad I went. He's a nice guy and we got on well. I don't want to make any final decisions based on a first date but in terms of romance? I didn't really get any of those type vibes. However, as Vi said, she felt the same way about John Boy...so if he asks me out again I'll say yes. I'm just glad I got the first date out of the way!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
An Excellent Start
New Year's Eve. My least favorite holiday of the year. You might assume my least favorite holiday would be Valen- er, Single's Awareness Day, but that's not true. It's easy to ignore S.A.D. Especially if it's during the week, you just continue with your normal routine. With New Year's Eve, there is way too much pressure to not stay at home watching chick flicks. (At least alone. But finding someone else to commit to watching chick flicks with you, is not easy.)
This year, I thought it would be easiest to go out in my neighborhood, within walking distance of my place. There are no shortage of bars in a three-block radius, and we wouldn't have to worry about a designated driver or paying for a taxi. Anyone who wanted to was welcome to crash on my floor. But sure enough, my friends had ideas of their own that didn't involve my neighborhood. I immediately called not-Designated Driver. I gave them the option of not needing one, so I sure as hell wasn't going to be responsible for driving everyone around.
Despite the plans, I was very excited about the evening. I had put together a pretty rockin' outfit, and was feeling very good. Our first stop however, was a party in midtown, nicknamed the "gayborhood." It was indeed the gayest party in town. There were men everywhere. All making out with each other. Now I am a friend to the gay community, but on New Year's Eve, that's not really what I'm looking for. Luckily, it wasn't a complete wash, as several of the guys complemented my wardrobe choice, and that means a lot coming from this crowd. Eventually, we managed to make it out of the party and on to the bar, which also happened to be located in the heart of the ghetto. On our way in, we heard several gunshots. I told myself they were celebratory fireworks. The bar also had an awful lot of men making out with other men, as well as plenty of girl-on-girl action, but we met up with my roommate and our cute neighbor there. It was nearly midnight when we arrived, and my roommate and I were entirely too sober. We had some catching up to do, and did we. The cute neighbor was hitting on both of us, which was pretty strange, but when you're in an inebriated state, you don't tend to notice too much.
Finally, we made it back to a bar around the corner to my place. Once we had a table, I got up to get some popcorn to go with all the alcohol. On my way back, my path was blocked by a scruffy looking man, so I politely said excuse me. He turned around, apologized, introduced himself. "Violet," he said. "You're gorgeous. Nice to meet you. Are you here with your boyfriend?"
Ha. Silly boy. Why on earth would I be there with my boyfriend, let alone have one?
I went back to my table where my roommate and cute neighbor were getting a bit cozy. A few minutes later, Popcorn Man (as my roommate has referred to him so often it's stuck) pulled up a chair next to me and started talking. We chatted while my roommate and neighbor quite obviously analyzed our interaction. I was in a pretty good place though, and managed to ignore the fact that they were staring and breaking down our every move. Before leaving, Popcorn Man said he would love to take me out sometime, and did I have any plans for the rest of the weekend? I gave him my number.
My roommate, the neighbor, and I walked back to our place, where we cooked breakfast, and the neighbor tried to put the moves on my roommate, and she tried to get away. She accomplished this by putting me in between them. We have a pretty good-sized kitchen, but it felt very crowded. A sober me would have felt uncomfortable. We couldn't get the neighbor to leave. I went to bed, but while I've been assured that nothing happened, he is officially "a situation." (In that my roommate is not interested. He's kind of a man-whore.)
New Year's Day. The Popcorn Man actually called. We decided to go out for drinks that night. I figured a date on the first day of the new year is a very good sign. While talking to him, I decided he's the perfect candidate for a Mr. Right Now. He's scruffy and bearded and fun to talk to. He paid for my drinks and opened doors. He even texted me a few minutes ago to say that he had fun last night. But halfway through our first drink he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked did I mind if he smoked?
Ugh. I know I'm not looking for everlasting love here, but this is one of those dealbreakers I have yet to get over. It's just so unattractive. Even when I was on a remote island with Mr. Almost Perfect, I couldn't get past it. I've never actually snogged a regular smoker. And while I know my New Year's resolution is to get more action, I'm posing this question to any of you who might have experience: Is snogging a smoker worth it?
This year, I thought it would be easiest to go out in my neighborhood, within walking distance of my place. There are no shortage of bars in a three-block radius, and we wouldn't have to worry about a designated driver or paying for a taxi. Anyone who wanted to was welcome to crash on my floor. But sure enough, my friends had ideas of their own that didn't involve my neighborhood. I immediately called not-Designated Driver. I gave them the option of not needing one, so I sure as hell wasn't going to be responsible for driving everyone around.
Despite the plans, I was very excited about the evening. I had put together a pretty rockin' outfit, and was feeling very good. Our first stop however, was a party in midtown, nicknamed the "gayborhood." It was indeed the gayest party in town. There were men everywhere. All making out with each other. Now I am a friend to the gay community, but on New Year's Eve, that's not really what I'm looking for. Luckily, it wasn't a complete wash, as several of the guys complemented my wardrobe choice, and that means a lot coming from this crowd. Eventually, we managed to make it out of the party and on to the bar, which also happened to be located in the heart of the ghetto. On our way in, we heard several gunshots. I told myself they were celebratory fireworks. The bar also had an awful lot of men making out with other men, as well as plenty of girl-on-girl action, but we met up with my roommate and our cute neighbor there. It was nearly midnight when we arrived, and my roommate and I were entirely too sober. We had some catching up to do, and did we. The cute neighbor was hitting on both of us, which was pretty strange, but when you're in an inebriated state, you don't tend to notice too much.
Finally, we made it back to a bar around the corner to my place. Once we had a table, I got up to get some popcorn to go with all the alcohol. On my way back, my path was blocked by a scruffy looking man, so I politely said excuse me. He turned around, apologized, introduced himself. "Violet," he said. "You're gorgeous. Nice to meet you. Are you here with your boyfriend?"
Ha. Silly boy. Why on earth would I be there with my boyfriend, let alone have one?
I went back to my table where my roommate and cute neighbor were getting a bit cozy. A few minutes later, Popcorn Man (as my roommate has referred to him so often it's stuck) pulled up a chair next to me and started talking. We chatted while my roommate and neighbor quite obviously analyzed our interaction. I was in a pretty good place though, and managed to ignore the fact that they were staring and breaking down our every move. Before leaving, Popcorn Man said he would love to take me out sometime, and did I have any plans for the rest of the weekend? I gave him my number.
My roommate, the neighbor, and I walked back to our place, where we cooked breakfast, and the neighbor tried to put the moves on my roommate, and she tried to get away. She accomplished this by putting me in between them. We have a pretty good-sized kitchen, but it felt very crowded. A sober me would have felt uncomfortable. We couldn't get the neighbor to leave. I went to bed, but while I've been assured that nothing happened, he is officially "a situation." (In that my roommate is not interested. He's kind of a man-whore.)
New Year's Day. The Popcorn Man actually called. We decided to go out for drinks that night. I figured a date on the first day of the new year is a very good sign. While talking to him, I decided he's the perfect candidate for a Mr. Right Now. He's scruffy and bearded and fun to talk to. He paid for my drinks and opened doors. He even texted me a few minutes ago to say that he had fun last night. But halfway through our first drink he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked did I mind if he smoked?
Ugh. I know I'm not looking for everlasting love here, but this is one of those dealbreakers I have yet to get over. It's just so unattractive. Even when I was on a remote island with Mr. Almost Perfect, I couldn't get past it. I've never actually snogged a regular smoker. And while I know my New Year's resolution is to get more action, I'm posing this question to any of you who might have experience: Is snogging a smoker worth it?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Dark Horse
I'm screwed.
Following my awesome Friday night, where the Dark Horse asked me for my number nearly 4 months after he should have asked for my number, I was very pleased and excited when he actually called on Saturday just like he said he would. I had dinner plans for the evening, but we decided to meet up for a drink afterward. You know those dates when everything just kind of...clicks? That's what this was. Best of all, when I made one of my many sports references, he actually got it. He walked me home and gave me a goodnight kiss that kind of kept going, and was kind of awesome, and that I kind of really want to do again sometime.
The next morning, I had that giddy, morning-after, shit-eating grin on my face for most of it. The only thing that could spoil my mood was the terrifying thought that he may not call, but he did call, and we have plans for this weekend. And when he randomly texted me a cheesy pick-up line this afternoon (we were trading them back and forth last weekend), I'm sure the people around me thought I was a crazy person, because I was grinning at nothing.
See what I mean? I'm screwed.
Following my awesome Friday night, where the Dark Horse asked me for my number nearly 4 months after he should have asked for my number, I was very pleased and excited when he actually called on Saturday just like he said he would. I had dinner plans for the evening, but we decided to meet up for a drink afterward. You know those dates when everything just kind of...clicks? That's what this was. Best of all, when I made one of my many sports references, he actually got it. He walked me home and gave me a goodnight kiss that kind of kept going, and was kind of awesome, and that I kind of really want to do again sometime.
The next morning, I had that giddy, morning-after, shit-eating grin on my face for most of it. The only thing that could spoil my mood was the terrifying thought that he may not call, but he did call, and we have plans for this weekend. And when he randomly texted me a cheesy pick-up line this afternoon (we were trading them back and forth last weekend), I'm sure the people around me thought I was a crazy person, because I was grinning at nothing.
See what I mean? I'm screwed.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Charming the Highlander
Saturday, I went out with The Highlander. He seemed excellent on paper, and I know I will need a distraction when John Boy is gone for good, so why not? We met up for ice cream, and in just a few minutes time I thought for sure I was going to need to send Grayer and Scarlet the SOS text. You know, the one where I text them the Danger Word (Bert!) and hopefully at least one of them receives it immediately, waits five minutes, calls me, then sings to me while I shout "Are you ok? Where are you? Of course, I'll be right there!" Then I can be put out of my misery, apologizing profusely, and hope he never calls again.
The Highlander, quite attractive and very nice, was just so awkward. Maybe it's just that (sadly) I've been doing this long enough, but I know that there are always going to be awkward pauses in conversation. Heck, there are pauses in conversations long into relationships, both romantic as well as platonic, they just become comfortable. Therefore, I know well enough not to panic, but The Highlander obviously doesn't know this. He was trying so hard, it was a bit endearing, but still terribly uncomfortable. We got our ice cream, and took off for a walk around the neighborhood (a neighborhood that we share, making him extremely geographically desirable) and the awkwardness eased up a bit. Eventually, we got back to where we started, and he suggested we get some dinner. I agreed, since at this point I'm pretty confident in my abilities to keep the conversation going. Dinner went pretty well, and clocked in at two hours (pretty solid, by date clock standards). I know I did more than my share of the talking, since all the "experts" say to let the man do 2/3 of the talking, but sometimes, you just have to step up to the plate. (And in case you're wondering, no, I'm not starting on a path to cougardom, he's nearly 6 years my senior.) I knew it had gone well, though, when the check came and he immediately grabbed it. Always a good sign.
Apparently dinner went so well, he even offered to do something else afterward, but I know enough to leave 'em wanting more, so I thanked him for the ice cream and dinner. He called me by 12:30pm the next day, and we are apparently going out again on Friday. (Of course, I've heard that one before, so I don't want to get too psyched up for it.) And the sad part? I keep forgetting about Friday and looking forward to Saturday. What's Saturday, you ask? The day John Boy returns. Oh, crap.
The Highlander, quite attractive and very nice, was just so awkward. Maybe it's just that (sadly) I've been doing this long enough, but I know that there are always going to be awkward pauses in conversation. Heck, there are pauses in conversations long into relationships, both romantic as well as platonic, they just become comfortable. Therefore, I know well enough not to panic, but The Highlander obviously doesn't know this. He was trying so hard, it was a bit endearing, but still terribly uncomfortable. We got our ice cream, and took off for a walk around the neighborhood (a neighborhood that we share, making him extremely geographically desirable) and the awkwardness eased up a bit. Eventually, we got back to where we started, and he suggested we get some dinner. I agreed, since at this point I'm pretty confident in my abilities to keep the conversation going. Dinner went pretty well, and clocked in at two hours (pretty solid, by date clock standards). I know I did more than my share of the talking, since all the "experts" say to let the man do 2/3 of the talking, but sometimes, you just have to step up to the plate. (And in case you're wondering, no, I'm not starting on a path to cougardom, he's nearly 6 years my senior.) I knew it had gone well, though, when the check came and he immediately grabbed it. Always a good sign.
Apparently dinner went so well, he even offered to do something else afterward, but I know enough to leave 'em wanting more, so I thanked him for the ice cream and dinner. He called me by 12:30pm the next day, and we are apparently going out again on Friday. (Of course, I've heard that one before, so I don't want to get too psyched up for it.) And the sad part? I keep forgetting about Friday and looking forward to Saturday. What's Saturday, you ask? The day John Boy returns. Oh, crap.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Dating Burnout
I’d like to apologize for neglecting WWBD? this past month. Honestly between work, friends, family and the men of online dating I’ve barely even had time to relax. In light of my absence I’d like to give a recap of my adventures of online dating since I last posted.
I can relate to Violet’s pre-first date lack of enthusiasm. I met both The German and The Country Boy in the last few weeks. Prior to these dates I called both Violet and a few other friends for a pep talk. I really did try to psych myself up for the dates. I thought maybe after I made an effort to look cute I’d be more enthused but to no avail I just wasn’t that into them.
The German was up first. I met him at a pub after work, we both ordered beers, and he proceeded to talk about himself. My most common phrases of the evening were “uh huh”, “OK”, and “that’s nice.” I tried several times to change the topic to more common ground but apparently The German was just that into himself. At the point where I might have considered ordering food because I was starving, I decided that I needed to escape. Unfortunately The German had other plans…he ordered a second beer so without being rude I had no choice but to wait till he was done. I left feeling cheated out of a free meal and thinking “I’ll never get those 3 hours of my life back!” I have not heard from The German since and I can't say that I'm disappointed.
For my date with The Country Boy I decided that I needed to plan the date more wisely. I suggested ice cream on a week night. (See I do learn from experience!) I figured you can order another beer but not another ice cream. The date with The Country Boy was moderately better than the date with The German; however, his pictures were clearly from high school. He was nice but I just wasn’t feeling it. The Country Boy emailed me the next day and I graciously turned him down for a second date. I
So here is my problem…at what point does my attempt to be open minded and not too picky go too far? Violet and I discussed this topic over the weekend. The thing is that I think that I’m really putting forth an honest effort. For example, I tell Violet almost everything but I was so determined to give The Engineer a chance that I didn’t admit to Violet that I wasn’t attracted to him to after it was over. (I felt guilty about it and we got along so well that I thought that maybe with time that would change.)
I think there is a point where you just have to admit there are certain things you can’t compromise on. Unfortunately, this leaves me at an impasse. Where have all the fun, educated, eligible bachelors gone?
I can relate to Violet’s pre-first date lack of enthusiasm. I met both The German and The Country Boy in the last few weeks. Prior to these dates I called both Violet and a few other friends for a pep talk. I really did try to psych myself up for the dates. I thought maybe after I made an effort to look cute I’d be more enthused but to no avail I just wasn’t that into them.
The German was up first. I met him at a pub after work, we both ordered beers, and he proceeded to talk about himself. My most common phrases of the evening were “uh huh”, “OK”, and “that’s nice.” I tried several times to change the topic to more common ground but apparently The German was just that into himself. At the point where I might have considered ordering food because I was starving, I decided that I needed to escape. Unfortunately The German had other plans…he ordered a second beer so without being rude I had no choice but to wait till he was done. I left feeling cheated out of a free meal and thinking “I’ll never get those 3 hours of my life back!” I have not heard from The German since and I can't say that I'm disappointed.
For my date with The Country Boy I decided that I needed to plan the date more wisely. I suggested ice cream on a week night. (See I do learn from experience!) I figured you can order another beer but not another ice cream. The date with The Country Boy was moderately better than the date with The German; however, his pictures were clearly from high school. He was nice but I just wasn’t feeling it. The Country Boy emailed me the next day and I graciously turned him down for a second date. I
So here is my problem…at what point does my attempt to be open minded and not too picky go too far? Violet and I discussed this topic over the weekend. The thing is that I think that I’m really putting forth an honest effort. For example, I tell Violet almost everything but I was so determined to give The Engineer a chance that I didn’t admit to Violet that I wasn’t attracted to him to after it was over. (I felt guilty about it and we got along so well that I thought that maybe with time that would change.)
I think there is a point where you just have to admit there are certain things you can’t compromise on. Unfortunately, this leaves me at an impasse. Where have all the fun, educated, eligible bachelors gone?
Monday, May 25, 2009
The Vertical Challenge
I like nerds. I like sports. I make no secret of either of those facts. And tonight I had a date with a neuroscientist, and he suggested we go to the park to play catch. This should be a dream come true, but for some reason, I needed both Scarlet and Grayer to tell me how excited I should be about it. They were right, I should have been very excited about it, but for some reason, I couldn't really get pumped up. Have my expectations just been lowered by all the other disappointments? Or, (a very likely explanation) am I just looking forward more to John Boy being back in town?
While I was waiting for him at our designated location, a man about 60 with white hair parked in front of the bench I was sitting on, got out of the car, and said, "Are you waiting for me?"
"No," I answered. Because if this was somehow the Neuroscientist, I didn't want to admit who I was anyway.
"Oh, darn!" said the white haired man. It was then that the Neuroscientist walked up. I stood up, and immediately regretted it. The Neuroscientist is vertically challenged. I was definitely taller.
This is a phenomenon I've noticed about online dating. Men exaggerate their height. Unless they are over six feet tall, they add a few inches to their height on their profiles. I'm not an abnormally tall woman, but I have a few inches on both Scarlet and Grayer, and when I'm wearing heels, I appear to be a tall woman. I'm just not attracted to men who are shorter than me. It's awkward.
Not only am I taller than him, but I also have a better arm than than he does. That's nothing new, but when I asked John Boy why I'm still single, he answered that men could possibly be intimidated by me. I don't think I'm an intimidating person, but as he also pointed out, I go after nerds and the like, who are more likely to be intimidated by someone by me. So I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't get a call for a second date from the Neuroscientist, even if it did go well otherwise.
And by the way, on the way back by our meeting point, the white haired man was sitting there with a more age appropriate woman, chatting and drinking coffee. Clearly they were doing the same thing. It was really very sweet.
While I was waiting for him at our designated location, a man about 60 with white hair parked in front of the bench I was sitting on, got out of the car, and said, "Are you waiting for me?"
"No," I answered. Because if this was somehow the Neuroscientist, I didn't want to admit who I was anyway.
"Oh, darn!" said the white haired man. It was then that the Neuroscientist walked up. I stood up, and immediately regretted it. The Neuroscientist is vertically challenged. I was definitely taller.
This is a phenomenon I've noticed about online dating. Men exaggerate their height. Unless they are over six feet tall, they add a few inches to their height on their profiles. I'm not an abnormally tall woman, but I have a few inches on both Scarlet and Grayer, and when I'm wearing heels, I appear to be a tall woman. I'm just not attracted to men who are shorter than me. It's awkward.
Not only am I taller than him, but I also have a better arm than than he does. That's nothing new, but when I asked John Boy why I'm still single, he answered that men could possibly be intimidated by me. I don't think I'm an intimidating person, but as he also pointed out, I go after nerds and the like, who are more likely to be intimidated by someone by me. So I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't get a call for a second date from the Neuroscientist, even if it did go well otherwise.
And by the way, on the way back by our meeting point, the white haired man was sitting there with a more age appropriate woman, chatting and drinking coffee. Clearly they were doing the same thing. It was really very sweet.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Getting back in the game...
I decided to be the bigger person and not email The Engineer. One of my friends said by not responding the ball stays in my court. I'm not really sure what I can do with this power at this point but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me.
Now that it is too late I kind of regret not emailing The Engineer back. I know that it wouldn’t have changed anything but it was all so sudden and I feel like his email robbed me of complete closure. This is going to sound somewhat pathetic but, despite The Engineer being a complete fuckwit at the end, I still kind of miss him. Even if I wasn’t that into him I still really liked him and I had fun with him.
So now that The Engineer is out of the picture I’m back on match in search of a guy I’m not only compatible with but who I’m also attracted to. (By the way, I hate that I’m now comparing other guys to The Engineer.) Within a day or two receiving the email from The Engineer, I updated my profile and contacted a handful of guys. Of course only a couple replied. Here is a roll call of those in the running at the moment:
- The Accidental Date Guy – The weekend after things ended with The Engineer I was trying to make plans for the evening. I was talking to one of my guy friends from meetup group thinking that we were going to invite other people. It wasn’t until the last minute that I realized that he might not have been thinking the same thing. I asked him if I should see if other people wanted to join and he said “no I think we can handle this ;-)”. Crap!! So I went on the “date” and it was fun. However, he was moving out of town in a couple of days and a couple months later he will be moving out of the country for several years. (Plus, I hadn’t thoroughly facebook stalked him and my friend informed me later than he has a toddler.) He did call and text me the day after the date though.
- The German – I have been talking to this guy on match who lives near where I work. He seemed really interesting at first but some of his emails recent emails have been a little boring and his comments make me think that we might not be compatible. As English is not his first language and he seems interested in me, I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I suggested meeting and he said he would like that and is free this week. He did lose points suggesting that we meet during the week so that I wouldn’t have to drive up on a weekend. (I commute to work.) Seriously? He could have at least pretended he was willing to meet me half way.
- The Country Boy – The guy contacted me on match. He fishes, hunts, watches Nascar, loves his pickup truck and makes his own furniture. He seems interesting and I’m not entirely opposed to the country boy type but Nascar and hunting definitely aren’t hot.
So here it goes again...dating is so exhausting...
Saturday, April 4, 2009
That elusive perfect date outfit
We've all been there. Standing in front of (or in) our closets, pulling clothes off their hangers, throwing them onto the bed, trying on outfit after outfit, modeling for your roommate, or even taking pictures and emailing them to a long-distance friend (i.e., Scarlet). It's a never-ending battle: Choosing the perfect date outfit.
What's so difficult about looking so fantastic? We do it all the time. But on a date, the goal is not just to look fantastic, but to look fantastic without looking like you tried very hard at all. And looking like you didn't try is very hard work indeed.
This is why the lunch date works so well. You're coming from work, so as long as you aren't a construction worker, you can dress very, very well, but have the excuse that you were dressing for work and not for him. I met The Cable Guy for lunch on Thursday, and this is exactly what I did. I was able to wear my hot ass pencil skirt, but I was clearly dressing professionally, and not for him. (I could actually wear jeans to work if I wanted to, but a.) he doesn't know that and b.) I never do anyway. I have a closet full of professional work clothes. I actually want to wear them.) I have had this particular pencil skirt since college (and yes, it still fits!) and it has never let me down. Only time will tell if it came through in the clutch yet again.
But what if you're not going out for lunch in the middle of a work day? Here's a few things to remember:
1. Always keep the venue in mind. A mini-skirt and heels might be appropriate for the club, but they are not appropriate for much else. Also reeks of desperation.
2. Don't be afraid to wear heels. (Unless, of course, the guy is a Liliputian.) Heels make everything look better. But again, if you're going with a shorter skirt, you may want to tone it down with flats.
3. Show some tasteful cleavage. Not too much, of course, you don't want to give away the farm. Just enough to let him know you have some. (And if you don't have any, you can always create the illusion.)
4. Have a stand-by outfit: Flattering jeans, heels, and said top with some cleavage.
5. Get a second opinion- from a guy. Women tend to dress for other women, but when you're on a date, you're not dressing for other women, you're dressing for your date. So the guy next door's opinion is a bit more valuable than your roommate's.
Anyone else have tried and true date outfit advice? I know we could all use some.
What's so difficult about looking so fantastic? We do it all the time. But on a date, the goal is not just to look fantastic, but to look fantastic without looking like you tried very hard at all. And looking like you didn't try is very hard work indeed.
This is why the lunch date works so well. You're coming from work, so as long as you aren't a construction worker, you can dress very, very well, but have the excuse that you were dressing for work and not for him. I met The Cable Guy for lunch on Thursday, and this is exactly what I did. I was able to wear my hot ass pencil skirt, but I was clearly dressing professionally, and not for him. (I could actually wear jeans to work if I wanted to, but a.) he doesn't know that and b.) I never do anyway. I have a closet full of professional work clothes. I actually want to wear them.) I have had this particular pencil skirt since college (and yes, it still fits!) and it has never let me down. Only time will tell if it came through in the clutch yet again.
But what if you're not going out for lunch in the middle of a work day? Here's a few things to remember:
1. Always keep the venue in mind. A mini-skirt and heels might be appropriate for the club, but they are not appropriate for much else. Also reeks of desperation.
2. Don't be afraid to wear heels. (Unless, of course, the guy is a Liliputian.) Heels make everything look better. But again, if you're going with a shorter skirt, you may want to tone it down with flats.
3. Show some tasteful cleavage. Not too much, of course, you don't want to give away the farm. Just enough to let him know you have some. (And if you don't have any, you can always create the illusion.)
4. Have a stand-by outfit: Flattering jeans, heels, and said top with some cleavage.
5. Get a second opinion- from a guy. Women tend to dress for other women, but when you're on a date, you're not dressing for other women, you're dressing for your date. So the guy next door's opinion is a bit more valuable than your roommate's.
Anyone else have tried and true date outfit advice? I know we could all use some.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
We failed the Chemistry Test
I had my first OkCupid date yesterday afternoon. It was a simple afternoon coffee date, designed to be short and therefore less awkward. That way you don't have to worry if it's not going splendidly, in just a short time, someone has to get back to work.
This date was with The Shaman, a slightly elder (by 8 years) called The Shaman because of his desire to do some shaman work in South America. (Hence is interest in me, since I lived in his country of interest.) He also told me that he's just wrapping up a book on spiritual enlightenment, and while being a shaman (holistic healing using herbs and campfires or something or another) and writing books on spirituality aren't really my thing, I said yes because this is the Year of Yes, remember?
We agreed to meet at the park, and I didn't really see anyone matching his profile photo when I spotted a guy in all leather (in March! on a 70 degree day!) checking out his reflection in his car window, and slicking back the sides of his hair with a comb (a comb!) ala Danny Zuko. "Oh dear God," I thought to myself. "If Danny Zuko is The Shaman I am running away right now, and he'll never have to know I was here." Luckily, Danny Zuko walked away without pause, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. The The Shaman walked around the corner. First impressions: His profile picture is obviously a few years old. He has a lot more gray hair. And, he's short. Shorter than me.
OK, I know that this is the year of yes, and I am trying, really, really trying to be open-minded. But when I realize that a guy is shorter than me, it's a huge turnoff. And I was wearing flats. Just think if I had worn heels! And while we had a decent conversation and he did pass the pay for your date test (no, I'm not old-fashioned, but if a boy asks a girl out, he should pay for her. It works both ways. If a girl asks a boy out, she should pay for him.), there was zero romantic chemistry. I also found out that besides writing, he is also a life coach. And I think being a life coach is a sham of a profession, and I can't really get behind that.
Luckily, he emailed me later on and said that while it was nice meeting me, he realizes there wasn't any spark. Whew. Saves me the trouble. However, he then told me he was also thinking of writing a book on relationships, and would really like to get my opinion on him. Was there a certain moment when I knew there was no spark? What am I supposed to say? When I found out you were a Liliputian? I haven't answered him yet, and I'm pretty sure when I do that it won't be of much help to him. It just wasn't, you know, there.
So I'll turn my attention to my other suitors. There's Papa Smurf, whose random details were great (example: "I once threw a piece of gum into a trash can from like, 20 yards." This makes me laugh. Am I crazy?) and The Cable Guy, who shows the most promise (and who has my number, and he better use it, damnit!) and the Ham Sandwich Guy is still lurking, but we seem to be getting nowhere fast. But I'm just happy to get that first date out of the way.
This date was with The Shaman, a slightly elder (by 8 years) called The Shaman because of his desire to do some shaman work in South America. (Hence is interest in me, since I lived in his country of interest.) He also told me that he's just wrapping up a book on spiritual enlightenment, and while being a shaman (holistic healing using herbs and campfires or something or another) and writing books on spirituality aren't really my thing, I said yes because this is the Year of Yes, remember?
We agreed to meet at the park, and I didn't really see anyone matching his profile photo when I spotted a guy in all leather (in March! on a 70 degree day!) checking out his reflection in his car window, and slicking back the sides of his hair with a comb (a comb!) ala Danny Zuko. "Oh dear God," I thought to myself. "If Danny Zuko is The Shaman I am running away right now, and he'll never have to know I was here." Luckily, Danny Zuko walked away without pause, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. The The Shaman walked around the corner. First impressions: His profile picture is obviously a few years old. He has a lot more gray hair. And, he's short. Shorter than me.
OK, I know that this is the year of yes, and I am trying, really, really trying to be open-minded. But when I realize that a guy is shorter than me, it's a huge turnoff. And I was wearing flats. Just think if I had worn heels! And while we had a decent conversation and he did pass the pay for your date test (no, I'm not old-fashioned, but if a boy asks a girl out, he should pay for her. It works both ways. If a girl asks a boy out, she should pay for him.), there was zero romantic chemistry. I also found out that besides writing, he is also a life coach. And I think being a life coach is a sham of a profession, and I can't really get behind that.
Luckily, he emailed me later on and said that while it was nice meeting me, he realizes there wasn't any spark. Whew. Saves me the trouble. However, he then told me he was also thinking of writing a book on relationships, and would really like to get my opinion on him. Was there a certain moment when I knew there was no spark? What am I supposed to say? When I found out you were a Liliputian? I haven't answered him yet, and I'm pretty sure when I do that it won't be of much help to him. It just wasn't, you know, there.
So I'll turn my attention to my other suitors. There's Papa Smurf, whose random details were great (example: "I once threw a piece of gum into a trash can from like, 20 yards." This makes me laugh. Am I crazy?) and The Cable Guy, who shows the most promise (and who has my number, and he better use it, damnit!) and the Ham Sandwich Guy is still lurking, but we seem to be getting nowhere fast. But I'm just happy to get that first date out of the way.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
First Date: The Engineer
A couple of weeks ago I decided to try match.com. As you may recall in my previous post, I was talking to a nerdy, outdoorsy guy with a dog. (I’m still working on an alias for him but for now we will call him the Engineer.) After talking with the Engineer for about two weeks, we arranged to meet for dinner at a pub he suggested. While it is hard to really know what a guy will be like in person, I was optimistic going into the date based on our emails and the phone conversation the night before.
I was a little nervous at the beginning of the date but the conversation flowed smoothly and I quickly forgot to be nervous and just enjoyed the evening. I’ve been on quite a few first dates in the last year (and no second dates) and the contrast between the dates gives me a better perspective on what constitutes as a good or bad first date. In this case, I’d definitely say that it was a good date. We were at the pub for almost 3 hours and with the exception of the brief lull after an old drunk man feel backward off of his bar stool and hit his head on a table nearby (what is the proper reaction to that?), there were virtually no awkward pauses and our conversation was informal rather than a bunch of dead end questions.
At the end of the date I told the Engineer that I wasn’t sure how to get home from where we were. He called later to make sure that I’d made it OK and said he had a good time. He has emailed me twice since the date and in the last email he said “I am terrible at first dates....are we going to go out again if I ask you (eventually...)?” I’m guessing this means he wants to see me again but is a little insecure? (I will say that "eventually" seems a little too infinite for my tastes.)
A couple of things I like about the Engineer: (1) he shares my appreciation for The Office, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report; (2) he is an Obama fan and thinks Sarah Palin is an idiot (while acknowledging that this has nothing to do with gender); (3) he loves animals; (4) he says what he thinks but admits when he is wrong; (5) I don’t feel any of my normal post date anxiety.
I’m going to keep talking to the other guys I’m communicating with on match but I probably won't meet any of them until I see how this pans out. (I admit that I’m not good at focusing on more than one guy at a time.)
I was a little nervous at the beginning of the date but the conversation flowed smoothly and I quickly forgot to be nervous and just enjoyed the evening. I’ve been on quite a few first dates in the last year (and no second dates) and the contrast between the dates gives me a better perspective on what constitutes as a good or bad first date. In this case, I’d definitely say that it was a good date. We were at the pub for almost 3 hours and with the exception of the brief lull after an old drunk man feel backward off of his bar stool and hit his head on a table nearby (what is the proper reaction to that?), there were virtually no awkward pauses and our conversation was informal rather than a bunch of dead end questions.
At the end of the date I told the Engineer that I wasn’t sure how to get home from where we were. He called later to make sure that I’d made it OK and said he had a good time. He has emailed me twice since the date and in the last email he said “I am terrible at first dates....are we going to go out again if I ask you (eventually...)?” I’m guessing this means he wants to see me again but is a little insecure? (I will say that "eventually" seems a little too infinite for my tastes.)
A couple of things I like about the Engineer: (1) he shares my appreciation for The Office, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report; (2) he is an Obama fan and thinks Sarah Palin is an idiot (while acknowledging that this has nothing to do with gender); (3) he loves animals; (4) he says what he thinks but admits when he is wrong; (5) I don’t feel any of my normal post date anxiety.
I’m going to keep talking to the other guys I’m communicating with on match but I probably won't meet any of them until I see how this pans out. (I admit that I’m not good at focusing on more than one guy at a time.)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
First date do's and don't's
I don't read Cosmo; I preferred the now defunct Jane. Yes, I occasionally pick it up at the dentist's office or flip through it while waiting for a friend to get ready, but I don't read it religiously every month. I find that it only succeeds in making me feel incredibly imperfect. I don't look like any of the women in the magazine (who apparently never break out, even during their period), the amazingly cheap bargains still sound a bit expensive if you ask me, and I see far less action than the average "Cosmo girl."
That being said, I stumbled upon this article online, (read it!) written by Cosmo, on how to rock the first date. For the most part, I agree with what they have to say in this particular article (particularly on which foods not to order, more on that later), but I have an issue with their advice to "go a little wild" and "flaunt your fearless personality." What if you are not wild and don't have a fearless personality? Are you supposed to develop a passion for skinny-dipping in the town square fountain in order to get a second date? Streaking down Main Street to ensure he'll call you? (I don't know why, but when I hear "wild" and "fearless" together, I automatically assume public nudity is involved.) That's all I have to say about that.
On the flip side, I totally agree with the following list of what NOT to order at dinner on your first date. (My comments in parentheses).
1. A messy plate of spaghetti with tomato sauce (I don't think I need to explain this one to you)
2. Escargots with butter and garlic (a. It's the most expensive thing on the menu. Even if you've found a date with deep enough pockets to take you out to a restaurant that even serves escargots, it will only make you look like you're after his money. b. Garlic. You want a good night kiss, don't you?)
3. Deep-fried anything (Grease isn't hot)
4. A salad with low-fat dressing on the side (He obviously didn't ask you out because he's into super models, so don't eat like one.)
5. Three-bean chili (Could you imagine anything more mortifying?)
6. Barbecued chicken wings (Sometime in the future, you may want him to lick sauce off of you, but your first date shouldn't be the time.)
That being said, I stumbled upon this article online, (read it!) written by Cosmo, on how to rock the first date. For the most part, I agree with what they have to say in this particular article (particularly on which foods not to order, more on that later), but I have an issue with their advice to "go a little wild" and "flaunt your fearless personality." What if you are not wild and don't have a fearless personality? Are you supposed to develop a passion for skinny-dipping in the town square fountain in order to get a second date? Streaking down Main Street to ensure he'll call you? (I don't know why, but when I hear "wild" and "fearless" together, I automatically assume public nudity is involved.) That's all I have to say about that.
On the flip side, I totally agree with the following list of what NOT to order at dinner on your first date. (My comments in parentheses).
1. A messy plate of spaghetti with tomato sauce (I don't think I need to explain this one to you)
2. Escargots with butter and garlic (a. It's the most expensive thing on the menu. Even if you've found a date with deep enough pockets to take you out to a restaurant that even serves escargots, it will only make you look like you're after his money. b. Garlic. You want a good night kiss, don't you?)
3. Deep-fried anything (Grease isn't hot)
4. A salad with low-fat dressing on the side (He obviously didn't ask you out because he's into super models, so don't eat like one.)
5. Three-bean chili (Could you imagine anything more mortifying?)
6. Barbecued chicken wings (Sometime in the future, you may want him to lick sauce off of you, but your first date shouldn't be the time.)
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