I have a fever, and the only prescription is more HOT PILLS

Hot pills. No, I'm not taking them, but Fenella keeps accusing me of doing so. She also claimed in her last post that "When Vi plays softball she is the flame to the many male moths she plays with." This may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I have gotten an unusually high number of inquiries from men in my softball league, dating back to last year. More recently, I've piqued the interest of two of my teammates, Baldo and Simple Simon. Oh, and by the way: The Cute Neighbor plays on my team.

Baldo actually asked me out at the beginning of the summer. I responded by telling him that the cute neighbor and I had plans that evening, figuring he would get the hint. He didn't. Since then, he has hung out with me and the cute neighbor in group settings, where it's pretty apparent the cute neighbor and I are an item. Still, it wasn't until recently that Baldo finally asked me, "So. Are y'all dating?" It's widely known to everyone (including the cute neighbor) that he's waiting for the day the cute neighbor is no longer in the picture.

Simple Simon once thought Fen and I were a couple. After he found out we weren't, the cute neighbor predicted it would be two weeks before he asked me out. He never did, but he did recently ask my good pal D.B. what my "story" was. D.B. told him he just missed me, that I'm currently spoken for. Simple Simon responded with, "It's the cute neighbor, isn't it?" Real sharp, that Simon.

No, I'm not taking hot pills. I don't get this kind of attention anywhere else. The key isn't even softball. Hell, I've been playing softball forever and it certainly hasn't helped me pick up men before. I am generally a confident person, but I am never more confident than when I am on the softball field. (It is usually more likely to give people the impression I bat for the other team. Isn't it time we did away with this stereotype?) I know what I'm doing. I'm good at it. My dad taught me proper technique. And the key: It's fun. I have fun when I'm playing it, so not only am I confident, but I'm happy and cracking jokes. Confident, happy, funny= Hot Stuff.

I know what you're thinking: "But I'm terrible at softball! I'll never find a man!" Don't worry! You don't have to be good at softball. Or any sport for that matter. All you need to do is figure out where you are most at ease. Maybe it's an academic setting. Maybe it's the beach. Or a dance club. Whatever it is, spend time there. You're relaxed, you're happy, you know you belong there. Hey, you're Hot Stuff.

So there you have it, ladies. A prescription for Hot Pills from yours truly, Dr. Violet. (Doctor of Love! Ha!) Now go out there and knock 'em dead.

Making the effort

I'm no scientist. There are only two things I remember from science classes at school. 1) When you burn magnesium the flame turns green and 2) how to rewire a plug. Which is going to be of zero use to me if I leave the UK. However, I have been noticing a trend. And trends are science related right?

Anyway, the trend is this. Women who have boyfriends are 'letting themselves go'. Allow me to explain. I work in a predominantly female populated office. Within my department there are six other females. Five of them are in relationships. One of them is not. Of the five that are, four can be classed in the smug-married category. The other one has only been with her boyfriend for a few months and is not smug about the fact that she has a boyfriend (we like her). Now, I have been observing the smug-marrieds and in my oh so humble opinion there is a definite difference in appearance between the smug-marrieds and the other two. I am not trying to be controversial. And I am by no means saying that these girls are not attractive because they are. I am merely observing. And I am also not trying to be a hypocrite as I myself don't always put in the effort. But at the risk of sounding like a bitch, I put in more effort than they do.

I think it's best to use my friend's words who doesn't work with me but has a long-term boyfriend: "I have a boyfriend now. I don't need to make any effort." The trend continues. Can it be true that women really think like this? Please say it isn't so! This would mean that women are only 'making the effort' to snag a man. Which admittedly is sometimes the case, but it shouldn't always be the case.

Some may argue that women get the raw end of the deal. After all, all men have to do in the morning is get up and put some clothes on. Haircuts for them take ten minutes (and are much cheaper than ours), they don't have to worry about make-up or high heels or shaving their legs, underarms or bikini lines. Whereas us girls have much more to think about.

I personally feel that if we've been stuck with the raw end of the deal then we may as well embrace it! We have the advantage of clothes/shoe/make-up/jewellery/handbag shopping being a good pick-me-up after a rubbish day. We feel more positive after a good haircut. If we need a confidence boost? A dash of eyeliner works every time. We should do this for us. Not for men. And if we have a man why should it be any different? Yes having a man can give us confidence but I still prefer the eyeliner.

So while we are happy singletons I can rest easy knowing that when we get dressed up for a night out or are making ourselves ready for the day we are putting in the effort for us, not for Mr. Right who we may bump into (but if we do, it's an added bonus). However, the day will come when we are no longer singletons (nor smug-marrieds, never smug) but have a lovely, mature, non-fuckwit of a man. And when that day comes I plead with you all: don't forget about your eyeliner.