No one wants VD: Happy SAD!

Happy Single's Awareness Day, friends!  February 14th can be hard on singletons like us, but that's only because we let it be hard on us.  You're not alone. We're here for you, just as we always have been.  

Several years ago now, we simply decided that Valentine's Day wasn't a thing.  If anything, it only reminded you that you were single. If you've spent anytime single, like we have, you realize that you really don't need reminding of that.  Hence, Single's Awareness Day was born and the revolution has really took on.  It seems like every year, people care less and less about an overhyped commercialized day in the dead of winter.  Well, at least on the sane singleton front (Smug Marrieds are a different story).

It's not that we don't believe in love, we just don't believe you need a declared "holiday" to show love. It's not that we don't believe in romance, we just don't believe romance is defined by tacky gifts of the pink and red assortment.  Don't call us skeptical, pessimistic or bitter.  Love is what you make it, when you make it.  Not when the greeting cards tell you so.  Please feel free to use that explanation on that Smug Married coworker who feels the need to specifically ask you what your Valentine's Day plans are.  Then just smile, and wish her a good night on her rip-off of a prix-fixe menu dinner, her overpriced roses that will smell like cat feces in 72 hours, and that box of chocolates that will taste like shit, but she'll eat anyways after being disappointed by yet another Valentine's Day.  Who's smug now?

Playlist: Singles' Awareness Day, Volume II

Happy S.A.D.! I just didn't have the inspiration for this year's S.A.D. playlist, which simply cannot compete with last year's playlist, which I thought was excellent. Refer back to that one, as this year's edition was hastily thrown together. My apologies.

Haven't Met You Yet- Michael Buble
Never Recover- The Cardigans
Love is Dead- The Lovemakers
Friday I'm in Love- The Cure
Single Ladies- Beyonce
Two Atoms in a Molecule (If Love is Just a Game, How Come I've Never Won?)- Noah and the Whale
Maneater- Hall & Oates
Love Song for No One- John Mayer
Bad Romance- Lady Gaga
Hologram- Katie Herzig

Happy Anna Shaw Howard Day

Even if you don't watch 30 Rock, you'll be sure to appreciate the greatest Valentine's day themed show of all time. Liz Lemon also refuses to celebrate a "a sham created by greeting card companies to reinforce gender stereotypes" and instead calls it Anna Shaw Howard Day ("the February 14th birthday of the famed American suffragette"). Somebody needs to teach this lady about Singles Awareness Day!

S.A.D. Poetry

In honor of the pink and red "holiday" upon us, I decided to do a poetry lesson with one of my classes today. (Also because I was too lazy to do anything else, and this is a standard lesson I've done several times. I used the "holiday" as an excuse.) While my students were plugging away, I penned a few of my own, in honor of us, and the men that have come in and out of our lives over the last year.

To not settling:

Roses are Red,
Grass is green,
Don't I deserve
To be treated like a Queen?

The Highlander:

Roses are Red,
Violets are blue,
You're so stupid,
You haven't got a clue.

The Dark Horse:

Violets are blue,
Roses are Red,
We would be better
If we just stayed in bed.

For Grayer and Conrad:

Roses are Red,
Funerals are black,
What you two have
Is really whack.

For Welsh Willy:

Roses are Red,
But some are pink,
For not calling Fen,
You really stink!

For Scarlet:

Roses are Red,
Lillies are white,
I'm only looking for
My very own knight.

I could go on and on and on...

Hell yes February!

Oh crap it's February? I think not, ladies. Nevermind that January is finally over and that spring is just around the corner. February is the month of groundhogs, the month of superbowls, the month of hot Olympic athletes, and the month of Singletons. That's right, Single's Awareness Day (if you didn't know you're single, you do now). If you're new with us at WWBD? you should know one thing. We do not celebrate Valentine's day, because we do not believe in Valentine's day. We do not need dinner plans. We do not need red fuzzy teddy bears that will gather dust. We do not need overpriced red roses that will die. We do not need candy that will go straight to our hips. We don't need anything because Valentine's day is not a holiday. (Please refer to previous arguments supporting this simple fact).

Please understand that we are not bitter Singletons. We have simply joined/started the revolution that is SAD and this belief has spanned many a men and many relationships. It's liberating to be a nonbeliever! It's not that we don't believe in love, we just don't believe you need a declared "holiday" to show love. It's not that we don't believe in romance, we just don't believe romance is defined by tacky gifts of the pink and red assortment. It's not that we don't believe in celebrations, hell yes we believe in celebration. Lucky for us, SAD falls on a Sunday of a 3-day weekend. While all those smug marrieds are out with the usual holiday rituals (What is so "romantic" about going out to dinner?) we will be out at the bar. Seriously, put on your dancing shoes because the clubs should be crawling with singles ready to mingle! Can you say snogfest?! It's a great time to be a Singleton!

So jam out with that playlist, join the cause and celebrate Single's Awareness Day (only let's learn from my mistakes last year).

S.A.D.: A reflection

Single's Awareness Day (if you didn't know you're single, you do now) is a revolution taking over the country (ok, maybe just taking over my groups of friends). But this non-holiday should come with a few warnings, which some of us learn the hard way. Here's how I spent my SAD and here is what I learned.

My friend Lisa, who I will now refer to as "8-year-Lisa," was all depressed because surprise, surprise, her loser long distance boyfriend didn't do anything for her for Valentine's day. This is kind of her fault since she sort of told him not to, and then she sent him something, making her feel doubly miserable.
Warning: Do not pretend to not care about Valentine's day, when you actually do care about Valentine's day. You are ensuring disappointment.
Because I'm an awesome friend, I decided to boost her spirits by having people over to my place for a night of boardgames and chocolate martinis (nothing lifts spirits like our beloved chocolate in an intoxicating form). I admit I even drove 15 min to find a liquor store that was still open. It was an emergency!

While we were out, I get a call from my Hanging Out Guy, he had stopped by my apartment and left me something on his way to his friends house. Dammit.
Warning: Firm non-believers of Valentine, should always nonchalantly slip into casual conversation several days in advance that they are in fact, firm non-believers of Valentine. It would prevent awkwardness.
This immediately made me extremely uncomfortable, as I happened to be in Walmart seeing all the paraphernalia, and starting to sweat. Honestly, the blinding pink crap looked like Cupid vomited in the aisles. (Although I did enjoy seeing husbands desperately scanning the shelves at 8 o'clock that night). I forbade Lisa from speaking of this ever again, and silently resolved, that if there was a red stuffed animal of any kind sitting at my door, then I would never see him again.

It was just a box of chocolates. The heartshaped box was unfortunate, but I like chocolate. I decided I could handle, and it went perfectly with my chocolate martinis. (But does it make me a bad person that I'm glad I wasn't there to receive that gift?) It didn't take long for 8-year-Lisa to realize what had just happened. A guy I'm casually seeing did something for me, but her long term boyfriend did nothing for her.
Warning: If a firm nonbeliever receives an unwanted/unneeded gift on Valentine's, do not let the pretending nonbeliever friend with an idiot of a boyfriend become aware of said gift. It will only lead to more disappointment and awkwardness.

The chocolates were passed around all night, and none remain. Playing Cranium with friends (including my new favorite couple) left us rolling on the floor laughing and I slept well in a chocolate/alcohol induced coma. Can't wait for next year.

Playlist: Single's Awareness Day

This years SAD playlist is designed to allow you a few moments to feel sorry for yourself, followed by a sense of feminist pride, then finally, an opportunity to just dance it out.


All By Myself- Celine Dion
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)- Amanda Seyfried
Where is My Love- Cat Power
Miracle- Cascada
Overdue- Bitter:Sweet
Holding Out for a Hero- Bonnie Tyler
Hello- Lionel Richie
We Get On- Kate Nash
Wake Up Alone- Amy Winehouse
Girls Just Want to Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper
Mr. Brightside- The Killers
Get Gone- Fiona Apple
Keeps Gettin' Better- Christina Aguilera

It's that time of year again...

I am now taking requests for a Singles Awareness Day (SAD) playlist. Please give me any and all suggestions!