I've been home a week since my trip to the Pacific Northwest and I haven't even told you about it yet?! It's ok, I haven't unpacked either (I'm an adult, I do what I want). It was a very grown up trip, might I say. I was going for an interview, ya know, because I'm a grown-up. I brought my laptop, which I actually did work on. I brought a dress, which I actually ironed in the hotel. I brought heels, which I actually wore. I brought hair products, which I surprisingly used! I also brought my mother. Don't laugh. I really like my Mom. Even when she drives me absolutely mad. It was mother's day weekend, how awesome a daughter am I?!
We spent two days in Seattle. I loved Seattle. Would someone please get me a job in Seattle? (Preferably as a wedding planner or back-up singer? I'm really good at upholstering things too, if that helps. Like, super good. Seriously, Violet and I have agreed that upholstering may be my only true talent). Unfortunately, the job I was interviewing for was not in Seattle (nor did it include upholstery), but it did give us a great day to drive around the Olympic Peninsula, where we stopped on several rocky beaches and hiked in moss covered forests. And stopped in two little towns of Port Angeles and Forks.
First off, let me say, I promised Violet I'd never go to Forks without her. But once we decided to do the Olympic Peninsula drive, there was no way to not go through the setting of the Twilight Saga. Secondly, I'd just like to say: Bella is a whiny bitch. Seriously, Bella. This place is gorgeous. You're a fool.
Port Angeles is lovely. I found some sea glass on the rocky beaches. The ferry to Victoria was in the port and the paper mill was...well, smelly. But apparently I could have seen Bella's prom dress in the shop window and eaten mushroom ravioli at the Italian restaurant her and Edward went to. As we made our way to Forks, my mom asked why Forks was chosen.
"It has the most clouds/rain in the US. Vampires can't go out in the sun, they sparkle."
"Sparkle?! I thought they shriveled or exploded in the sun."
"No, Mom. That's in made up stories....Where's LaPush on the map? ... That's where the werewolves live"
"I thought Twilight was about vampires?"
"It is, but it also has a pack of werewolves. They're enemies, obviously."
Somehow this conversation made me feel ridiculous. I'm 26 years old. A little too old to be heading to the setting of a fictional love story about vampires and werewolves, that's clearly meant for tweens. Oh, and I'm with my mother (being with Violet would have made it ok).
But I forgot about that, because the drive from Port Angeles to Forks was gorgeous, windy road, mostly right along a huge lake. Why didn't Bella mention is was so pretty (because she's a whiny bitch, and ok, also because Stephenie Myer had never been there when she wrote it). It's picturesque Washington state. We stopped for a short hike to a lovely waterfalls, among huge pine trees and moss covered logs. Ah, Olympic Peninsula, you make me want to literally hug a tree.Forks is nothing to brag about. After quickly stopping to get gas on the outskirts of town, it took all of 1 minute to drive through it. We didn't go to all the tourist spots that a pamphlet I picked up had told me about. We didn't see "the Cullen house", Bella's truck, the high school, or Dr. Cullen's reserved parking spot at the hospital. Ya know why I didn't go see them? Because these people aren't real! I did however see the grocery store where Bella shopped, the outfitter's where Bella worked, and on a unrelated note, a logging museum. No, Forks is nothing to brag about, but Bella, I still say you're a whiny bitch. Sorry, twi-hards.
