Triple word score

I've become a bit anti-social lately. I blame it on the weather (it is, in fact, currently snowing in Boston). I don't want to do anything on weekends anymore, I mostly want to catch up on my sleep, my crafts, my newest book, my job applications (I need to get the hell away from Boston winters) and ok, my online Scrabble. It's an addiction, online Scrabble that is. Like a game version of Nutella, or... crack (fyi, Nutella is the reason spoons were invented). Seriously, can't stop playing it, partly because I'm so damn competitive, but mostly because of my favorite online opponent.

We started playing back in January. He impressed me with his words, what else? I also particularly liked that we were a good match for each other. Challenging but not unbeatable. I started looking for him every time I got online. Eventually, we started chatting during our games. Turns out, Manitoba Manny, is pretty hilarious (for a Canadian that is) and I had a lot of fun talking to him. He LOLs at my jokes, he totally gets my sarcasm. Pretty soon, we were actually scheduling these cyber-dates, going from Scrabble to Skype. He's a really sweet guy, does some sort of IT work, and according to his pictures, he's really cute. Bearded (obviously). I honestly feel like I talk to him more than anyone else. I feel like I can tell him anything. We've sort of gotten into a routine now, chatting while at work, talking via Skype at home while we eat dinner, we've even watched movies together (and by together, I mean at the same time). It's almost as if we've been dating. Apparently, he's been feeling the same because last night, we had The Conversation. We talked about where things are going between us, particularly when we're going to meet, and by the end of it, it was official! I have an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND!!

I know, I know, it sounds a little...crazy (which is why I haven't mentioned him before now, but now it's official!). But if you knew him, you would totally understand. Manitoba Manny is freaking awesome. I know I'm not physically with him, but I don't want to be with anyone else because of him. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like we'll be meeting anytime to soon (He has lack of funds to come here, I can't go there because he's living with his parents' for the time being, awkward!). But hopefully this summer we can work something out. Hopefully, before that, he'll get a webcam so we can finally talk face to face (kind of). It's funny, I've been looking all over the US for a new job, but suddenly Canada's not looking so bad, eh?

Plus No-one AGAIN

Last year, I wrote about my lack of a Plus One. This year, however, I have an ACTUAL boyfriend and all, so everything should be hunky dory, right? Wrong. My ACTUAL boyfriend is out of town. So I will yet again be attending my office Christmas party solo. I mean seriously, what is the point of having an actual boyfriend if he's going to be out of town for the two weeks leading up to Christmas, leaving me Plus One-less yet again? Grrr.

This year's office Christmas party invite was particularly obnoxious about the whole thing also. There was a sign-up sheet with a column for your name if you'll be attending, and next to it a column that said, "Spouse (yes or no)." Why only a "spouse"? Why not "significant other"? Or better yet, "guest"? I was feeling particularly cheeky and smart ass, so under the spouse column, I wrote "No thanks."

Don't worry, I won't be giving a drunken solo at the party. Actually, if the party were going to include drunken karaoke, I might actually be looking forward to it, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be super-lame, and have been trying to come up with an excuse not to go for weeks now. Unfortunately, it's important to stay on the boss's good side, and this is a good way to do that. I can, however, look forward to New Year's Eve, when I will actually have a date for the first time in... well, let's not think about that.

And the Excellent Boyfriend Award goes to....

If I were a different kind of girl, my facebook status would read something like this:

Violet J. Bickerstaff is so lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend to take care of her when she's sick. Thanks baby!

Luckily, I'm not that kind of girl. Instead, I'll just go to my blog so to properly detail how awesome my boyfriend was to me when I caught the Peruvian Death Flu over the weekend.

There were no signs that I would spend the weekend on the couch/in front of the toilet puking my guts out. I felt fine when I went out Friday night to meet the cute neighbor and his co-workers for Happy Hour that evening. I was looking forward to an evening out, followed by Friday Night Action, and was quite enjoying myself during my first beer. But before I ordered a second, I decided to wait a few minutes. Something wasn't quite right. A mere 2 hours after I arrived, I felt like I might die. My throat hurt, and I had that awful, achy feeling all over that is never a good sign. As much as I hated to be the first lame-o to leave, I knew I needed to go home, put on my flannel pajama pants, and curl up on the couch with some soup.

I told the cute neighbor (who was probably on his 4th or 5th beer and definitely did not want to go home yet) that I felt like death and needed to go home. He offered to go to the grocery store for me and pick up some chicken noodle soup and crackers. I took him up on the offer. After I got home, had changed clothes, and was huddling under blankets on the couch, I got much, much worse. The kind of sick that makes you cry because you feel so awful and just hurt all over. Not good. It was after the cute neighbor arrived and was making me soup that the vomiting began. And after I had maybe 4 bites of soup, it continued. (Oh, how I wish he'd never heard me throw up, but sadly, this isn't the first time. Note to all: Never let your drunk-on-her-ass roommate make your first beverage of the evening. It will be 75% vodka.) I basically begged him not to leave me alone for the night, and as unappealing as spending the night sharing a bed with a sickie must have sounded, he obliged.

In the morning he went to the store again for more soup, since I was starving, but didn't think I could handle anything more than that. He left me to my Harry Potter marathon on tv while he went home to get some work done, but checked up on me throughout the day to see if I needed anything. Later in the evening went back to the store AGAIN to get me smoothie-making supplies and spent his Saturday night on the couch with me watching tv. Then he stayed with me again. By Sunday morning, I was starting to feel like a real person again. I told him he was an excellent boyfriend and promised that if he ever gets sick (which I've never seen, just pesky allergies) I will be sure to take good care of him as well and even asked him if he wanted to make out with me, which he politely declined. (I've been careful not to kiss him, even though he's shared air space. Best not to risk it.)

Now that we have found another benefit to having an actual boyfriend, we can get back to our regularly-scheduled man-bashing. Grayer, I believe you have something to say on this issue?

The Conversation: The Result

On Wednesday night I had drinks with my softball team. Due to the season ending in August it was the first time we'd all got together since the season ended, and the first time we'd all got together since The White Horse and I have got together. I figured it was going to be an interesting evening.

Now, as you all know, TWH and I met through our work softball team, not through work itself. These are all people we both know really well and get on with, and I thought this could be a good opportunity to let people know that the two of us were now more than just friends. The night before I had tried to mention this to TWH but he being a guy didn't really take the bait and I didn't want to push it and come across as all desperate.

Fast-forward to Wednesday evening, I'm two drinks in and feeling a little irritated. We're sat apart, not talking and acting like the past two months haven't happened. *Disclaimer: I didn't want to make a big deal about us. I didn't want to make a big announcement and I certainly didn't want the two of us acting all couply in the bar. All I wanted was my friends to find out, in a subtle way so that I wouldn't have to lie about my social plans like I've had to. TWH walks over and I tell him that I don't this, that it's weird. He agreed and said that he doesn't mind people knowing, he just didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I said that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it either, I just have more friends at work than he does. All of his friends know about me (even his mum knows about me now apparently) but my friends don't know about him because of the whole 'we work together thing' and I don't think that's fair, because let's be honest, girls like to talk.

I think I got my point across. As the evening wore on we gradually acted in more of a couple manner (nothing icky) and people found out, nothing was said and it was all very non-dramatic. As it should be. Later on in the evening (probably 5 drinks in by now) I was speaking to TWH and one of our friends came over to say goodbye because he had to meet his girlfriend. I started asking questions about his girlfriend only for him to respond: "And what about your new boyfriend Fenella? How long have you been with him?" Awkward...didn't he know that TWH and I haven't had The Conversation?! I managed to fend off the question by saying that I was doing the asking, not him.

On the train home I said to TWH that I didn't answer the boyfriend question because we hadn't had the whole boyfriend / girlfriend conversation. (Oh vodka, how I love the confidence you give me). TWH said that we could have the conversation now. I said OK.

TWH: So, you're my girlfriend right?
Me: Yes

And they say romance is dead. So there you have it. I guess TWH now falls into the ACTUAL BOYFRIEND category. Huh.

P.S. And might I just say, the action that you get after having The Conversation? If only you could have The Conversation more than once in a relationship.

Meet the Parents

My parents are coming for a visit this weekend. You know what that means. The cute neighbor is going to meet the parents.

I'm not really worried about what they're going to think of him. He already has very high approval ratings from The Important People he's met thus far, most notably Fenella, and this will be the first boy Grayer or I have introduced to our parents in a very, very long time. Years, actually. They want grandchildren. He is very highly educated and well-groomed. They will love him.

While my mom can be kind of a wild-card, I'm not too worried about what he will think of them, either. Mainly because my dad is probably one of the most likable people on the planet. They may be a bit nerdy, what with their ballroom dance habit and bike helmet rear view mirrors, but they're not dealbreakers for sure.

No, what will make this weekend interesting is where I choose to sleep. Being the top-notch hostess that I am, I will surrender my bedroom to my parents. Thus leaving me with two sleeping options:

1. I sleep on one of our two couches.
2. I do what I normally do, especially on the weekends, and sleep at the cute neighbor's house.

The last time I brought a boy home (in college, people) he was exiled to the guest bedroom. (In case you're wondering, yes, we found ways around this.) So you would think I should be sleeping on the couch, right?

Oh, no. I'm going rogue. I am a grown-up. I am 27 years old. Very nearly 28. If I want to have a sleep-over with my boyfriend, I very well will. And why should I have to spend a night tossing and turning on the couch while the cat pulls my hair when I can get a comfortable night's sleep in a comfortable bed? If he didn't live across the street, we may have a different story, but he lives across the street. I can see his front door from mine. If they think for a minute that that isn't happening on a regular basis, they need a reality check.

Aren't you worried about what they're going to say? you ask. That's the beauty of it. They won't say anything. That would mean having an uncomfortable conversation, and if there is one thing we are really, truly good at in this family, it is avoiding uncomfortable conversations. I mean yes, our mom sent Grayer a condom sticker, but she didn't actually say anything about it.

So check in next week when I give an update, and Grayer relays what the parents have to say about it.

I don't want to jinx anything!

I know I'm risking alienating everyone on this blog by making the following statement, but I don't have anything else to write about: It's difficult to get used to having an ACTUAL boyfriend.

Don't roll your eyes or throw tomatoes at your computer screen. It's just the facts. I've been single for a very, VERY long time. I realized the other day that I spent 4 years with the same boyfriend. Then I went 4 years WITHOUT one. Ouch. So no, the term "my boyfriend" doesn't really come rolling off my tongue. On the rare occasion when I have used it, I've thought, 'Wait, is that right? Am I getting ahead of myself?' and wonder if I should still just refer to him as "my neighbor."

It's also a completely different mindset. For a long time now, I've been on The Lookout for any single man with some potential. Now I'm not. I'm afraid I may have to remind myself of that, though. Last week, I was asked out by a new member of our softball team. I hope I wasn't giving out flirtatious vibes. I declined by telling him "The Cute Neighbor and I have plans on Thursday." That way, if he wasn't asking me out, I didn't embarrass myself by assuming that he was, but if he was asking me out, the name dropping should do the trick.

Of course, The Cute Neighbor is out of town this week. And I don't even have Eloise to take care of. It's feeling an awful lot like 2009 all over again...

An ACTUAL Boyfriend?

Something huge has happened. Something that has never happened before. History has been made. It's a very important day indeed. Someone on this blog has an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND. And that someone is ME.

Yes, that's right. I, Violet J. Bickerstaff, have an actual boyfriend. Not imaginary, not fake, not pseoudo, not potential, but an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND. Like the Curse of the Bambino or the goat, I was beginning to think there was a WWBD? curse. But fear not, ladies, there is hope!

I knew I had to have the conversation last night. The biggest reason being that Fenella threatened not to speak to me until I did. And I'm going out of town this weekend (family bonding at DisneyWorld. w00t.) so it would be nice to have that settled before I take off.

Since I hate to ask important questions and have important conversations, I like to sit back and wait for The Conversation to come up naturally. And naturally, it never does. Except this time. I was given an absolute gift by a friend of the cute neighbor's whom I've never met before. While we were on my porch waiting for our burgers to grill, he received a text from this friend he hasn't heard from in awhile. It went something like this: "I hear you have a gf? Violet?"

Interesting. Word has clearly spread. Someone has been saying he has a girlfriend, and they know my name. And still, I couldn't come right out and ask if that was true immediately. In my defense, I hesitated to take a deep breath, and he launched into a story about the text messaging friend, and then it was time to get our burgers off the grill. You know how it goes.

Eventually though, I decided to rip off the band-aid. I took another deep breath, and asked him if he did in fact, have a gf. He thought about it for about two seconds and said, "yes, I would consider that to be the case." So I have a boyfriend. End of story.

I texted Grayer later and said, "have an actual boyfriend. You know what to do." The response: "Ok you got it." G and I have a long standing agreement that whenever one of us has an actual boyfriend, the other one will tell our parents. (Seriously, no idea how we got this screwed up.) Of course, we made this agreement a long time ago, and this is the first time we've ever had to use it. It took her all of three minutes before she sent another text back (since she's already in FL with the parentals) which said, "They said good for her." Which is exactly the reaction I was expecting. Ok, that or "Well that's nice" which is my mom's response to almost everything of this nature.

Now the cute neighbor needs a new name. I suggest Lloyd. Thoughts?

The First Milestone

I'm not ready to jump on the cute neighbor is an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND bandwagon just yet, but he's clearly getting awfully close.

Last night after dinner, he looked at me and said, "Violet, I think we've reached the stage in our relationship where I'm going to start farting in front of you."

When I pointed out that he already has (certainly more than once), he said, "No, I mean, REALLY farting in front of you."

*Swoon*

Is this a relationship stage? And if so, where does it fall?

My Not-So-Imaginary Boyfriend

I don't want to jinx anything and jump on the ACTUAL BOYFRIEND bandwagon with Grayer and Fen just yet, but the cute neighbor is anything but imaginary.

First, there was a comment he made a few weeks ago, after having done my taxes for me. (As if that wasn't sign enough, yes, he did my taxes for me.) I told him he was the best fake boyfriend a girl could ask for. He told me that I should see what kind of a real boyfriend he was.

Then, when Fen was here, she was doing her usual meddling, and asked him what he was looking for in a woman. One of his responses was "thick hair." Which I just happen to have in abundance. I mean, who answers "thick hair" to that question?

The biggest clue came the other night. I have a tendency to put up a few walls when I think I might be vulnerable. Unfortunately, the cute neighbor's job is moving to Canada. He has already decided that he's not going to Canada, and therefore needs a new one. I think it's understandable if I'm a little hesitant to dive in if he's going to end up moving across the country within the next year. I told him as much. Then he said he would never ask me to move to Canada, but maybe somewhere else in the country, which I thought was interesting enough. But after a pause, he said, "But you're the reason I'm looking for jobs in Atlanta."

Huh. How so very un-imaginary of him.

There are other signs, too. Like the fact that I haven't slept in my own bed in over a week. (Or slept alone for quite some time either, since before this, I was sharing sleeping space with Fen.) Or that on Sunday while we were in the park, he casually asked what we wanted to make for dinner, as if it was a given that we would be making dinner together. Not only does he do all the cooking, but- Grayer, I know you'll appreciate this one- all the dishwashing too. He enjoys washing the dishes. I started to wash them once, and he took over before I got halfway through. And then there's the fact that he told a long-distance friend of his that he was seeing someone when asked how things were going.

So no, I'm not going to go out on a limb and call him an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND just yet, but he is so NOT imaginary. And in our world, that's huge.

Back to Reality

This morning was my first day back at work. I had approximately 60 emails, 8 voice mails and an overflowing in-tray to greet me. Sigh. My vacation is definitely over.

However, this does mean that I can now report my findings on 'The Social Experiment' and other events that took place.

1. The Reunion- seeing Vi again after a year and a half was AMAZING. There is no other word for it. We got on like we hadn't spend so long apart. In fact, we got on so well that people thought we were a couple. I can only imagine the blog posts we would have if we lived in the same city, even the same state. Anything is better then living on different continents.

2. Vi and the Cute Neighbor- as I updated you, the spark was there. It was so there I managed to spot it within 10 seconds after seeing them together. Regardless of the fact that I was jet lagged. I take some (well the majority of) credit for the two of them finally getting their act together. Mainly my constant pep talks to Vi, the first one consisting of: "just kiss him already" to the last one: "just do it already." I also made a lot of double entendres just to try and make things move along. I got a lot done in 10 days. And Vi now has an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND. I. Am. A. Genius.

3. McNerdy- yes, yes, it's true. After Vi gave her permission,* McNerdy and I did make use of the make-out corner at the party. And he did stay over. And I might have also stayed over at his my last night there. That would be Vi's fault after she and the Cute Neighbor walked out of McNerdy's apartment while Vi asked him to drive me home. She's sneaky like that. In regards to my social experiment, well, McNerdy is an American guy and I did like him more than any British guys I've meant in awhile. So my opinion of American guys has been somewhat proven.

So all in all, it was an extremely successful and enjoyable trip.

* Please note: I would never make-out or do anything non-platonic with a friend's (especially Vi's) ex or semi-ex or whatever without permission from said friend and even then it's a tricky area.