I'm no scientist. There are only two things I remember from science classes at school. 1) When you burn magnesium the flame turns green and 2) how to rewire a plug. Which is going to be of zero use to me if I leave the UK. However, I have been noticing a trend. And trends are science related right?
Anyway, the trend is this. Women who have boyfriends are 'letting themselves go'. Allow me to explain. I work in a predominantly female populated office. Within my department there are six other females. Five of them are in relationships. One of them is not. Of the five that are, four can be classed in the smug-married category. The other one has only been with her boyfriend for a few months and is not smug about the fact that she has a boyfriend (we like her). Now, I have been observing the smug-marrieds and in my oh so humble opinion there is a definite difference in appearance between the smug-marrieds and the other two. I am not trying to be controversial. And I am by no means saying that these girls are not attractive because they are. I am merely observing. And I am also not trying to be a hypocrite as I myself don't always put in the effort. But at the risk of sounding like a bitch, I put in more effort than they do.
I think it's best to use my friend's words who doesn't work with me but has a long-term boyfriend: "I have a boyfriend now. I don't need to make any effort." The trend continues. Can it be true that women really think like this? Please say it isn't so! This would mean that women are only 'making the effort' to snag a man. Which admittedly is sometimes the case, but it shouldn't always be the case.
Some may argue that women get the raw end of the deal. After all, all men have to do in the morning is get up and put some clothes on. Haircuts for them take ten minutes (and are much cheaper than ours), they don't have to worry about make-up or high heels or shaving their legs, underarms or bikini lines. Whereas us girls have much more to think about.
I personally feel that if we've been stuck with the raw end of the deal then we may as well embrace it! We have the advantage of clothes/shoe/make-up/jewellery/handbag shopping being a good pick-me-up after a rubbish day. We feel more positive after a good haircut. If we need a confidence boost? A dash of eyeliner works every time. We should do this for us. Not for men. And if we have a man why should it be any different? Yes having a man can give us confidence but I still prefer the eyeliner.
So while we are happy singletons I can rest easy knowing that when we get dressed up for a night out or are making ourselves ready for the day we are putting in the effort for us, not for Mr. Right who we may bump into (but if we do, it's an added bonus). However, the day will come when we are no longer singletons (nor smug-marrieds, never smug) but have a lovely, mature, non-fuckwit of a man. And when that day comes I plead with you all: don't forget about your eyeliner.
4 comments:
First of all I just want to say that I think women dress up for women more than they dress up men. Men don't care about cute trendy outfits, women do. I speak from experience, I am far more likely to make an effort if I know a woman is going to be there. Particularly a woman that always looks nice or one I've never met. Obviously this doesn't apply if you're first dating a guy or what not, but think about it, it's true!
Secondly, I think there a couple reasons women "let themselves go." Weight wise, women do tend to gain weight once in a relationship whereas men tend to lose it. Eating habits rub off on each other and that is never good for our waistlines! Also, in my experience with a crazy/superjealous boyfriend, me trying to look nice, just because I wanted to, translated to him to mean I'm trying to look good for another guy. He gave me so much grief about it, I just stopped doing it. Of course I'm older and wiser now and would never put up with such absolute shit, but at the time, I probably looked like I "let myself go" as well.
I wasn't commenting weight wise. I'm a firm believer in all body shapes and sizes are different and that's a good thing.
Ugh. Crazy/superjealous boyfriends. Thank goodness they now have the ex in front of the boyfriend title!
Maybe it is more of a work or everyday thing. Do the smug marrieds ever go out after work? I think I've fallen into the habit of not really caring that much how I look when I go to work. However, if I'm meeting up with friends (male or female) after work, I will put forth more effort to looking nice.
Although I learned early on, when I look nice my boss makes comments which makes me uncomfortable...so maybe I've been conditioned not to make the effort. Thank God I'm getting out of here!
Thank god indeed! My boss is a gay guy so I can't imagine having that problem...but he does sing a lot of showtunes!
Maybe it is a work thing. The smug marrieds I know rarely come out for drinks after work and things like that.
I guess I was just a bit surprised by what my friend said.
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