Must have been the tramp stamp

I went to a party of a former coworker the other night. Now we believe every good party has to be a theme party and this was no exception. The theme was evil/clown (Hosted by kind of a weird satanic couple, really into clowns) so with that theme in mind, I came dressed as a sorority girl. I'm talking poofed hair, heavy makeup, slutty clothes, heart-shaped jewelry, and yes, even complete with a giant butterfly tramp stamp tattoo (I would have gone with a fake tan but that costs money and this isn't Halloween!). Not exactly what they were expecting but everyone got the metaphor.

Somehow when we have these parties, it usually ends up with me and the clown couple drunk as can be while everyone else takes off. This party was no exception and I had already planned on staying the night. She kept handing me drinks, because she "wanted to make it a dance party." I didn't know how me getting drunk was going to make it a dance party, but I obliged. Hey, the girl is good with tequila. Apparently a dance party was not what she was after, she was trying to lower my inhibitions! As the last person was leaving she sits down next to me on the couch and looks at me sweetly. She suggests a threesome.

Now I can't give you the specifics of how I was solicited for joining the clown couple for a threesome but it started with "Ya know my boyfriend thinks you're cute" and ended with "And you and I can do whatever we want to each other too!" Somewhere in the middle, she mentioned he had a big penis, apparently to tempt me further. Cue: furious texting to Conrad, begging him to come pick me up (Damn him for hating people, avoiding social situations and falling asleep at midnight!).

I don't know what it was, perhaps my big hair? My raccoon eyes? The butterfly hovering playfully inches above my buttcrack? Either way, they both wanted it. I can't say I'm terribly surprised. They have both clearly come on to me in the past and we pegged them as swingers way back after our Halloween party. The boyfriend had already told me I could just sleep in their bed with them (I thought he was joking at the time). Don't worry ladies, I slept on the couch in solitude. I may have looked like sorority girl/easy, but sorry clown couple, I wasn't that drunk.