Over the weekend, Fenella and I were discussing one thing we would both like to change about ourselves: We wish we could be sluttier.
I won't speak entirely for Fen, but my frustration is not in my singleton status, so much as knowing that had I been willing, I could have had quite a bit of sex last year. But no, I have standards. Damn you, mom and dad and my moral upbringing!
These standards came back to bite me in the ass during my "I shaved my legs for this" declaration to the Dark Horse, (who by the way I have clearly scared off, as I haven't heard from him in a few weeks) insisting I was down for a hook-up even though we weren't together, and he responded with a confused look and a "but that's not who you are." Ok, so maybe that's not who I am, but it is certainly who I want to be. Help me out here. Throw me a bone.
You're probably wondering why on earth anyone would want to be sluttier when there are some people out there who turn to self-sabotage (not shaving their legs, for example) to stop from sleeping with random people. It's really quite simple. Being a prude will not get you laid. And sometimes, that is all you need.
Unfortunately, when the Dark Horse had asked me about sex, I told him I preferred to wait until an actual commitment. That's because I was actually interested in being in an actual commitment with him, and any dating expert (including the Millionaire Matchmaker) will tell you to wait for that. But now? I'm only human, for crying out loud!
So the question is, how do I channel my inner slut? I was fortunate enough to meet an incredibly hot Spanish doctor last weekend. Yes, that's right. Incredibly hot. Spanish. Doctor. It sounds like one of the romance novels I used to shelve at the library. He's only in town for two months. This is the perfect opportunity to work on my sluttiness! I have absolutely nothing to lose! "The Rules" don't apply as he is a. European and b. temporary. So please send me your sluttish vibes so that I may get the action I deserve.
3 comments:
Ah to be sluttier. And have less morals. Or at least be able to leave the morals at home for the evening.
Why is it when I try and be slutty I come across as desperate, and not in a good way!
Sometimes I wonder how we have such morals, it's not like our parents talked to us. However, I don't have commitment requirements and I will tell you this: Casual sex may NOT be as easy as you think it will be. Even with the best of intentions. Even channeling your inner slut. Women get feelings after sex. It's annoying, but it happens. Especially, if you have had feelings for him in the past (a la Dark Horse). It will not be easy. Trust me! You've been warned!
Fenella: I agree with you. I'm sure I just came off as desperate the last time I saw The Dark Horse.
Grayer: I realize the possible repercussions of my potential actions. That doesn't mean they won't happen, though.
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