The cat's meow

Wanna hear about some dates?  Of course you do!

Last week I went on four dates.  chyeah, that only happens in the online world.

First there was a coffee date with a 24 year old who seems to be straight out of college.  Firstly, why do I go on coffee dates when I don't like coffee?  Secondly, I'm glad he's finally living on his own from his adoptive parents and dog.  He asked me if I wanted to help him shop for baby presents sometime.  Ummm...maybe?

Next was drinks with a nervous architect dude.  I don't remember what we talked about other than that he kept saying "Well this has been fun".  That's something you say at the end when you're saying goodbyes.  Not several times in the middle.  Awkward.  Also, I outdrank him.  I downed my beer while he milked his and then didn't even finish it.  A guy who can't finish a beer?!  Next!  He invited me on a date to the Art Museum, which I'd be down for if it wasn't so gorgeous out.  And also, he's not terribly interesting and obviously hasn't dated much.  Oh yeah, and he can't finish a beer! (And yes, I do judge him for it).

I had a dinner date with a dorky financial guy who lives in New Hampshire.  We met in the middle and he paid.  He's definitely been the easiest to make conversation with by far and I did have a good time.  Things went south when we drove to a miniature golf course (by far one of the nicest courses I've ever seen, and I don't mean to brag, but I've seen a lot of mini golf courses) only to find it closed for the night.  We drive to a bar he knows of, only to find it closed for renovations.  Apparently it wasn't meant to be.  I'd definitely hang out with him again, but I have no interest in dating him.

The last date was over the weekend.  My holiday weekend kind of sucked due to all of my friends being out of town. That, and me being ridiculously allergic to something in my friends house when I stopped by to feed her cat.  I'm talking serious allergies, with itchy eyes so bad that my right eye swelled up so that I could only half open it.  It was an attractive look, might I say.  I actually would have been freaking out about my blood-shot ballooning eye (think Splinter Induced Delirium, but on my face!) had it not been for the allergy medication subduing me.  I spent most of the weekend in a Benadryl-induced coma, which I came out of just long enough to go on a date.  I told this guy about it (my eye was still a bit puffy) which got us on the subject of cats.  He seemed concerned that I was allergic to my friends cat.  Doubtful, I have a cat of my own.  He used to have a cat, until he died this past winter. I'm not even joking when I say, I thought this guy was going to cry.  Seriously, his eyes were welling up as he told me the sob story.  Don't get me wrong, it was a sad story (his cat died in his arms on their way to the vet's office, and surprisingly, he was only 7) and I can literally start crying at the very thought of losing my beloved Mr. Kitty Meowington.  But dude, please don't cry on our first date about your cat.  I am not a big enough person to handle that gracefully.   I will inevitably make a joke about wanting to be with cats on rainbows (if you haven't seen this video, watch it.  You'll never call me a crazy cat lady ever again) and having a house full of them so we can just roll around together.  That's what I do when I feel awkward, I make ill-timed jokes.  I don't really remember anything else we talked about during the one beer we drank.  It was a short date, ending with a "I'll drop you a line sometime".   We both know that I'll never be hearing from the Cat Cryer ever again.