Wednesday, February 23, 2011

You're doing it wrong

I went on a date last night. With a boy that gives out his number on slapon bracelets.  Who I drunkenly texted.  Who soberly texted me back.  Who gets major style points for bracelets and roses. Who kills it on the follow through.

  • I met him last Saturday.  Last Tuesday he texts me to ask if I'd like to get drinks during the week.  I said yes.  He said he'd get in touch with me later on in the week.  
  • On Wednesday he asked me if I wanted to join him and his friends at for Brazilian BBQ that night.  I claimed a long day at work.  A first meeting with him and a group of friends?  A sober me and a group of people I don't know, doesn't really mix well.  I clam up.  
  • On Friday he texts me at 10:15 pm asking if I wanted to meet up with him and his friends half way across town. Dude.  You're doing it wrong.  Doesn't he know that I was on my way home from a dinner party and all I wanted to do was crochet while catching up on Hulu?!  No, he doesn't know that because we still hadn't gone on a date (which means he shouldn't be last minute texting me to hang with his friends). 
  • On Monday he texts to ask if I wanted to get drinks that night.  I had plans.  Why is this guy incapable of planning ahead?  I say I'm busy tonight, how about tomorrow?  Holy crap, we actually made plans to meet up.
At this point I'm kind of wondering if I'm desperate for a date.   I haven't been on a date in a while, and going into it, I knew I wasn't that into him.  But I hadn't been on a date in a while, so it's not like I had anything else going on.  So what the hell?

What the hell?!  I remembered him being adorable. And funny.  Yeah, not so much.  His glasses, his combed hair, his knee-length pea coat.  It sort of screamed douche. There was just something about him that really....annoyed me.   I can't quite pinpoint why.  Perhaps it was his slow uninteresting stories.  Perhaps it was him mocking my sarcasm and not getting my jokes.  Perhaps it was him insisting that I watch a YouTube video that he had made.  Maybe it was when he asked me if I wanted to be his teammate for an eating challenge: 5 pound burger and 5 pounds of fries (Oh, my heart).  He lost me when he told me he really wanted to move back to Alabama and start a family.  He really lost me when he got out his iPhone to show me pictures of his parents.  Duuuuude.  You're doing it wrong.  Something tells me I won't be seeing him again.

2 comments:

Grayer said...

SlapOn texted me tonight, inquiring about my weekend plans. Did I want to go boarding with him? Sorry, busy. Out of the 5 texts we exchanged, he referred to me as "champ" in two of them. wtf.

Violet said...

The beer goggles were definitely on when you met that one, eh?