Do It Like a Dude

Last night I went on a date with The Bouncer. No, I'm not into him. I wasn't into him before when I was several beers in each time I saw him, and I definitely wasn't into him last night when I was sober. But he had nagged me over a long period of time (because apparently he doesn't realize that when a girl "drops off the face of the earth", it means she's not into you) and I'm apparently too nice. So I agreed thinking I'd at least get dinner out of it. I didn't even get dinner out of it?!?!? We split two (weak) appetizers at a place that took forever to get to because he insisted on driving but then got road rage when he couldn't find a parking spot. So unattractive. This is Boston, you don't need to drive!!! The worst part of dating is not the dealing-with-douchebags, it is the pretending-to-have-a-good-time, which is downright exhausting. And then when he dropped me off he seemed pissed as I got out of the car without kissing/inviting him in. Ugh. Move along, brother.

In other news, I'm still seeing Financial Frank. The birthday booty call was just the tip of the iceberg. Let me make one thing clear: Frank and I are just sleeping together. We've talked about how we're just sleeping together. We're both content with this arrangement and have said how we just need to be open and honest about the situation. He even said "No disappearing." That's right, we actually talked about our relationship. Mark this down as the first time ever that I actually know what the hell is going on in one of my relationships. We do enjoy sleeping together, we do actually enjoy spending time together in bed, but once I leave his house I don't talk to him for days. It's kind of, well, awesome. Of course, we are free to date other people but I couldn't be sure how I felt about this until he told me he was going on a date last week. Get this: I didn't care! Not even a hint of jealousy! Not even a saying-I-don't-care-but-then-actually-caring thing. I was actually in a really good mood after he confided this. I felt free, I felt liberated, I felt like a dude. Finally, I've figured out the secrets to casual sex. Finally! I'm an adult!

In the past, I've had to make some rules to get around this. A strict no cuddling rule (Conrad, get your hand off my leg!) was needed to not confuse me. But with Frank, we cuddle all the time. We talk, we cuddle, and then go another round. When I told Violet of this relationship she said, "wow, you're really not into him then." But that's not entirely true. He's a cool guy, he's fun, he makes me laugh, he's good in bed. The difference is, I don't want anything else from him. I'm completely satisfied with our relationship and want nothing more. We're not friends with benefits, because we're not friends. And until this totally backfires in my face (and yes, I realize that's a very real possibility), this may be the healthiest/ most honest relationship I've ever had.