The Funk

I'm in a funk. Ever since the cute neighbor left, my weekends have been awfully exciting (insert sarcastic face). Now, I realize that even with the cute neighbor, my weekends weren't always totally hip and happening (as we sometimes stayed in to watch baseball and listened to NPR in the mornings), but at least there was sex involved. And cuddling. This weekend, however, was just plain sad.

Friday night. I pick up a Whole Foods dinner on my way home from work, and am a bit too excited to be listening to a local radio station's Big 90s Weekend. I'm a huge fan of their playing nothing but 90s music on the weekends, as it reminds me of my coming of age. It also makes me feel old. At home, I sit on the couch and eat said Whole Foods dinner while watching my latest addiction: America's Got Talent. I know what you're thinking: LAME! But before you go judging me for watching it, watch these cuties, who are the cutest things I've ever seen. And Nick Cannon is way cooler than Ryan Seacrest, although I have to look away for the really bad auditions. At least on Idol, the bad ones are only in front of three judges, as opposed to an auditorium full of people. I kept bursting into tears all evening, which I told myself was because of the emotions of watching these people realize their dreams, but was in reality about something else entirely. And that was Friday night.

On Saturday, I was awake way too early, did some pilates, watched some tv, got my car detailed in preparation to sell it, and looked into moving vehicles. Around 4 or 5 pm, my boss called to see if there was any way I could baby-sit that night. Sadly, I had absolutely no other plans, so I agreed, but only because it would be late enough that the kids would be sleeping the whole time I was there. I got a lot of reading done. At 11pm, she called to see if I could stay for another hour. No, that's not a problem at all, I told her. I have only an empty bed and a cat who pulls out his own hair to go home to. All I wanted to do was go home and cuddle with the cute neighbor, but that wasn't an option.

I realize that I could have called somebody up to hang out, but I just didn't want to. I really couldn't think of anybody I felt like hanging out with that was actually within driving distance. This is something that I have simply got to snap out of; I can't feel sorry for myself. It could be a lot worse.

I was a bit better today. I went to the pool with some friends, and I'm hanging out with Rebecca this evening for a movie and take-out. I need to force myself out of this funk. Otherwise, there will be a lot of long, lonely weekends in my future.