Dear Universe,
What is your deal? Why are you messing with me like this? First, you throw Jonny fucking Damon back into the mix. Yeah, ok, that's fine, I'll play along. Then I leave town before seeing him to go fight some awesome class 5 rapids thanks to a hurricane (seriously, thanks for that rain Universe, that rafting was sick!) and get to hang out with a super chill and seriously sexy rafting guide. But alas, that rain forced us home early to the most shocking blast from the past you could ever come up with. Seriously Universe, what's your angle? And why can't I go back to the rapids, where all I had to do was follow directions and hang on for dear life. At this point I rather risk losing a limb in an undercurrent then dealing with real emotions. Damn you Universe.
I had an email waiting for me when we got out of the woods and into WiFi. It was from my original Imaginary Boyfriend, an old undergrad from my grad school days. Over three years later, he remains to be the only guy I have ever had to get over, and a big reason why I am incapable of talking about futures with guys. I haven't seen him since Spring of '08, when he graduated and moved west, leaving me feeling completely abandoned and cut off. Years later he emails me out of the blue to apologize for the way he treated me so many years ago. This leaves me...speechless. I don't even know what to say to this, other than wonder if he's in AA and he needs to apologize to everyone he has ever wronged. If that's the case, then I'm glad he's getting help (though he didn't have an alcohol problem when I knew him). If that's not the case, then seriously, what the fuck? Why now?
I've reread this email 40 times already and I still don't know what to say. I don't want to brush it off as if it's nothing because he really did hurt me and he should know it. On the other hand, I don't want to sound like I'm still hung up on it. It was three years ago after all.
I don't know what's going on in the world. I don't know why two guys from my past have popped up out of the blue within a week of each other. The Imaginary Boyfriend showing up make Jonny Damon's reappearance seem like nothing. Why do they do this?! Why can't they just leave me alone?!
1 comment:
They always come in pairs. Or is it threes? I don't know. Earlier this year, I got random emails from both the dark horse and the highlander in only a few weeks time. I don't know what game the imaginary boyfriend is playing though, but AA seems to be a good guess.
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