The jack of diamonds

Yesterday, I had a palm reading.  Don't be jealous.  It was a perk at my employee appreciation picnic (that and a ton of food and games).   I stood in line with a coworker for a good 30 minutes for a 2 minute reading.  It was worth it.  Apparently, I have very "funny" hands.

First of all, according to my astrology, I'm a Jack of Diamonds.
"This is the salesman's card. These people are sharp, clever and always able to make a good living using their wits and charm. They are very independent and creative, and operate as much from their instincts as they do from their quick and creative minds. The Jack of Diamonds has great power to persuade others.  Many are artistically inclined and some are even gifted.  All Jacks can be immature and crafty, due to their vast creativity and they usually mean well even when they are not able to come through on their promises. They love to play and even in old age retain a certain youthful quality.  Freedom is an important element in their lives on all levels.  Jack of Diamonds are caring and considerate, especially of those who they feel are part of their 'family'. They know how to get along with others and usually do. Their natural charm can make them very effective with others."

So that's why I'm so dang charming and persuasive!  Secondly, she takes a look at my hands.   My hands are cute and sweet but I'm not, she says.  I am a force to be reckoned with.  (Damn straight). I have very flexible fingers, which makes me "very funny",  I'm all over the place and not easily held down.  My thumb tells her that I am bossy.   She keeps telling me how funny I am. I don't know if it means I'm funny personally or my hand is funny. 

As far as lines go, I have a strong business line (the sales person in me) and a good career line, with a big change at the age of around 55 (early retirement hopefully? or finally starting a money making scheme with Violet).  One line shows relationship drama (Jack of diamonds are players, and I am no different) and low and behold, I have a marriage line (Hallelujah!!!).   Her exact words were "And here's your marriage line, you're going to have one nutso marriage"  Nutso?  What exactly does that mean??  "It will be crazy, your a Jack of Diamonds, you wouldn't be happy if it wasn't a little nutso!  You can't have a regular old marriage! You'd be bored!"  She then flung her feather boa over her should and wished me a good day.  

This is even better then my Tarot reading!  Personality wise, she's pretty spot on.  I am cute and sweet, but girrrrl, you better watch yourself before you mess with me or my family!  And as for that bossy thumb, well, I am my mother's daughter.  I can be pretty persuasive, particularly with the male variety, some would even call me charismatic.  Am I a player?  More so than some, relationship drama does seem to be a recurring theme too.  And can I get a What What! for a marriage line?! Here I had been worried that I had ruined my chances by stabbing myself with a knife in my marriage line (wrong hand, they read the one you write with).  But now I've got a "nutso" marriage coming my way.  Awesome...I think.  

It's in the cards

I got a psychic reading last weekend.  Don't judge.  When you see a Groupon for a psychic reading, you should probably buy it.  Obviously.  That's what my friend and I did.  I was oddly nervous as we walked into what could be described as the sketchiest building in downtown Boston.  What if she sees the Grim in my tea leaves and predicts me to be in grave danger?  What if a palm reading confirms my fear that my self inflicted stab wound (four stitches) was in fact, on my marriage line? (whatever that might mean, it can't be good). What if she doesn't see a man in my future, just cats?

It was a Tarot card reading. We first discussed my current job search (yes, I'm looking for a new job for the fall).  According to my psychic, I'm definitely moving west.  Boston is not for me. Nor is California for sure.  She sees me in Colorado (I did actually apply to a place there). If not this fall, next fall.  Good to hear, but enough of that, let's move on to the good stuff.  Love life.

After I pulled three cards on the subject, she looks at me.  "Are you dating someone now?" Far from it.  "Does someone you know want to be dating you?"  Like a secret admirer? I don't think so. Apparently, I will eventually have a relationship with someone I already know.  She could see us together at some sort of gathering surrounding a fire.  She can not see his face but she can feel his presence next to her, and when she tilted her head she could feel her head on his developed shoulder.  Sweet, he'll be taller then me and won't have bony shoulders!  She doesn't know when this will happen, possibly not until next fall, but it will happen just in time for me to move away from him.  She didn't know the extent of our relationship but she did know that I would be sad to leave him.  Great.

 I can't say I'm surprised.  Dating someone and then one of us moving away is a recurrent theme in my life.  She apologized for not giving me better news, but I figure a man is better then no man at all.  But who is this mystery man whom I am already acquainted?  Not going to lie, my first thought was my roommate Bernard.  I just blame this on the fact that he is my live-in-replacement-boyfriend, not because in some weird alternate universe we actually like each other.  I swear.

My psychic did assure me this didn't mean I wouldn't date anyone before this mystery man and I started seeing each other in a different way.  She can only see relationships that will actually "resonate with the soul" meaning this guy will actually mean something to me, and then I'll have to leave him.  Fantastic.

Overall, it was a fun experience.  I'm not sure I buy into the whole thing but it was interesting.  Anything she told me didn't terribly surprise me so I guess that made it more believable.  The best part about this all, is that I can now start sentences with "My psychic told me..." How rad is that?