Dreams DO come true!

Oh my God, y'all! I'm a total celebrity! No, seriously. At least 20,000 people saw my screaming face on a screen 6 stories tall! I'm here to tell you: Dreams can come true. Because I, Violet J. Bickerstaff, am an accomplished, tailgating champion! Can you believe it? I'm still pinching myself!

Recently, the cute neighbor and I decided to introduce our foreign friends to the institution of tailgating and baseball. You really can't get more American than that. We told everyone to bring beer and brats and chips and guacamole and more beer. We loaded up not one, but two cars full of grills, tables, chairs, and coolers. We got there early enough to set up in prime tailgating real estate. I knew it was going to be a good day. And it was.

About two thirds of the way into our tailgate, a team representative came over to tell us that we had bested our fellow tailgaters and were now the official winners of the Tailgaters of the Game. I was stunned. I was shocked. I had been working toward this goal since late 2010, ever since I first learned that this achievement existed. I felt my eyes well up with tears.

"Wow. Thank you! I... I hardly know what to say! First, I would like to thank Major League Baseball for honoring me in this way. I also need to thank my parents, for teaching me the rules of baseball, and the cute neighbor for showing me how to wrap a pork tenderloin in bacon and throw it on the grill..."

In case you haven't figured it out by now, winning Tailgater of the Game is a big fucking deal. First, they give you money. $250. That is no small chunk of change. Then, they put you on the jumbotron. Not only do they put us on the jumbotron, but they record us saying "PLAAAAAY BALL!" right before the first pitch. The game wouldn't even start without us! You can't start the game without a bunch of drunk baseball fans screaming PLAAAAAY BALL! on the jumbotron! You just can't!

So, how was it that our tailgating team (The Meatsweats) was able to pull off such an upset? Let's break down Keys to Victory:

1. The Crowd: The Meatsweats are a larger team than most. 12 boisterous members to be exact. The combination of diversity (more than half were foreigners) and enthusiasm (partly contributed to the beer) made the boring, half-hearted teams around us (quietly munching on chips) really pale in comparison.

2. The Food: Our table was absolutely jam-packed with food: chips, guac, hummus, fruit, bread, meat, and on and on. Then there was the grill. Were we cooking frozen burgers and hot dogs? Hell no! Only bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin and tri-tip steak for The Meatsweats.

3. The Apron: The cute neighbor was rocking an apron while working the grill. It really sealed the deal.

4. The Excitement over free peanuts: At one point, a team representative came by with free peanuts. "Hey everyone!" I yelled, "We got FREE PEANUTS! WOOOOOOO" Yup, that was the kicker right there.

Really, it was a true group effort. Everyone played an integral role in our ass-kicking tailgate. And this weekend will be the blowout party, funded by our prize money. I for one can't wait to get the cake that says, "Congratulations, Meatsweats!" It's going to be EPIC.