The Ex Factor

A few weeks ago, I got a totally random, out-of-the-blue email from The Dark Horse. Surprising, yes. Unwelcome, not really. He had recently read a book he thought I might like and wanted to pass it along. I won't turn down a good book recommendation. We passed a couple emails back and forth, just doing a bit of catch-up. I was sure to mention the cute neighbor, just in case he thought I might be down for a hook up. Besides, I had introduced the two of them thinking they could be great friends. I just couldn't understand why the cute neighbor just didn't like him.

That email did not prepare me for the even randomer email I got today. From...

THE HIGHLANDER.

Yeah. When I told Grayer, her response was, The Walkie-Talkie guy? Yes, the Walkie-Talkie guy randomly sent me an email today. Here is what it said,

Violet, let's meet up for a burger again. I'm moving to NY in a few weeks and it would be nice to see you again before I go.

Best, Highlander

Ok, let's break this down. First of all, notice how he said, "let's meet up for a burger again." Not, "hey, I know we haven't spoken in almost 2 years, but would you like to meet up for a drink or something to catch up?" I mean, seriously, we haven't spoken in over a year and a half. First I dumped him while we were at the beach together because I realized I couldn't stand him anymore, and then I told him I didn't want to be friends either, because I realized just how dull and boring he was. (I didn't mention the dull and boring part, of course.) And then he just randomly drops me an email telling me we need to meet up for a burger again.

When I told my roommate about this she said, "I would tell you just to do it, but he's so dull and boring you wouldn't even have fun." Exactly. He's mind-numbingly dull and boring. And there is always the possibility he would make us sit at opposite ends of the restaurant and communicate via walkie-talkie.

Yet, I am considering meeting up with him. Not for a burger. Or dinner. Maybe a drink. Just one. And not because I think he's suddenly come up with something interesting to say. But I really want to know how his cat is doing. Seriously, that was one really, really cute cat.

Seriously, two exes contacting me this close together is a bit strange. Who's next? My college ex whom I haven't spoken to almost 4 years? Because if he emails me out of the blue, I might just shit a brick.