Winter Wondershit

Monday morning, I'm going to get up at 7am and go to work. For the first time since Friday, January 7. Yes, it's been more than a week. No, I haven't been sick. I haven't been fired. The cause of my unexpected winter vacation (merely a week after my scheduled Christmas vacation) was simply Snowpocalypse 2011.

A whopping 4 inches of snow fell on the city of Atlanta last Sunday night. It was then followed by freezing rain, and several days worth of sub-freezing temperatures. Since Atlanta is generally considered to be a warm weather city and is not used to such things, it lacks the equipment-like snowplows and salt- essential to dealing with such an event. Thus the roads and sidewalks were completely iced over and undriveable until Friday afternoon. (To compare, Boston received 16 inches of snow on Wednesday. Grayer went to work on Thursday.) How on earth does one keep oneself occupied and warm during a snow week? Let's take a look:

Sunday night: WHOOPEEEEE! Tomorrow is a snow day! We can sleep in! The cute neighbor, my roommate, and I all learn that we will not be going to work Monday morning. We are like children who have learned they don't have to go to school the next day. We stay up later than normal. The cute neighbor and I take pictures of the winter wonderland on the short walk across the street to his house. We have celebratory "Tomorrow is a Snow Day" sex. (Although that part is definitely NOT like my childhood snow days. Grown-up snow days are sooo much better.)

Monday: Sleep in. The cute neighbor and I make a fantastic brunch, complete with freshly squeezed orange juice. (No, really. We used a juicer and a bag of oranges to make it.) We bundle up as much as possible and take a walk through the snow and ice to the park, where there are loads of people (mostly grown-ups) using whatever they've been able to find in their house as sleds. There are plastic lids, laundry baskets, boogie boards, kayaks, and even an air mattress whizzing down the hill (or at least trying to. Many are flipping over early on, as they were not meant to fly down an icy hill.) We are sad we haven't got anything to sled on, but it sure is entertaining. We continue to walk through the park and take pictures, and occasionally throw each other down in the snow, just like all those annoying couples you've seen when you're single. In the evening, we watch football and learn that Tuesday is also a Snow Day. Cool, another day to sleep in. Repeat Sunday night's bedroom activities.

Tuesday: Sleep in. I don't really remember what I do Tuesday afternoon, but I do something while the cute neighbor tries to work from home a bit. He's not that successful. We go for another walk. This time to a bar. We each have a beer. Wednesday is going to be ANOTHER Snow Day. Huh. What am I going to do all day?

Wednesday: Sleep in. The cute neighbor decides he's going to walk to work. I watch Gone With the Wind in the morning. My roommate is also home for the 3rd day in the row. We are both very bored.
12:00pm-We decide to do a bit of cleaning.
1:00- I decide to walk to the grocery store and make chili and cornbread for dinner, because that is a perfect Snow Day meal. I skate to the grocery store, nearly slipping and cracking my head open at least 3 times.
1:30-I arrive at the grocery store to find that it does not have much food left. The produce section is completely cleared out. I can't find a single onion. There is not a single onion in the grocery store! I have to buy jarred onions. There is no ground meat of any kind. What kind of chili doesn't have ground meat? Shit chili, that's what! I end up buying stew meat. I have no idea what this chili is going to taste like with jarred onions and stew meat, but this is the snowpocalypse. I must make adjustments and persevere.
2:30- My roommate and I smell something funky. After eliminating all possibilities, we realize that we have not showered regularly, and neither of us has washed our hair since The Snow. Come to the conclusion that The Funk is us.
4:30- Tomorrow is going to be ANOTHER Snow Day! Seriously?! This is getting old.
7:30- The chili and cornbread are absolutely delicious. Really hits the spot.
8:00- The cute neighbor convinces me to watch Silence of the Lambs.
10:30- I am scared shitless and will never, ever eat fava beans or chianti again. Have actually never had fava beans, but I definitely won't be. Am also afraid to go to the bathroom.
10:45- Force the cute neighbor to watch Two Weeks Notice. I need to cleanse and Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant in a delightful romantic comedy is the only way to do that.

Thursday: Sleep in.
9:00Eat breakfast. Watch tv. This is the first day all week both the cute neighbor and my roommate have gone to work, leaving me all alone. I... am... so... bored...
11:00- Watch The View. That chick from Survivor is still annoying. I really want to get out of the fucking house.
1:00- Decide I am going to scrapbook. Go across the street to have photos developed. Then decide to go for a brief walk to stretch out my legs.
3:00- Scrapbook, while watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy on Lifetime.
5:30- Fenella calls! Yeah! Skyping with Fen is the perfect cure for Snow Day IV!
8:00- Go out for a drink with the cute neighbor.

Friday: Sleep in. I am going to job #2 today. I am very, very nervous about it. What if my car doesn't start? What if I get stuck? What if I run out of gas?
11:30 am- I manage to make it to job #2. When I park my car, my hands are shaking from having had to drive over a solid sheet of ice that they call a road. I take a deep breath. I am happy to be alive.
7:00 pm- Leave work. Traffic is awful, what with all the ice patches.
9:00pm- Go bowling with the cute neighbor and friends. The perfect end to such a stressful week.

Tomorrow is a holiday and a scheduled day off. It is now a Make-up Day. I'm happy to have it. It's going to be tough to get up in the morning, but I really, REALLY need the money. Snowpocalypse has hurt my bank account. I should send a bill to the City of Atlanta. But they've got enough problems.