Operation: Cockblock

Last night over burgers, my friends and I hatched a plan to put a stop to The Ultimate Fuckwit.

The Ultimate Fuckwit just happens to be my former boss. When he was my boss, we didn't realize how much of a fuckwit this guy really is, but after he was promoted to an even higher job and no longer our boss, we figured out that he's not just an ordinary fuckwit. His fuckwittage goes way beyond your run-of-the-mill fuckwittage, like not calling. He destroys lives.

When TUF was my boss, he was married, but by the way he talked about his wife, I wasn't sure. He certainly didn't sound like someone who was too terribly in love with his wife, and I wondered if he was already divorced (he wasn't). There were rumors that he was carrying on an affair with a married woman in the company for which we worked, but nothing more than speculation. After his promotion, he began an affair with my new boss, his replacement. She was married, has two children, and her then-husband also worked for the same company. Her husband, poor guy, heard about this through the grapevine. He quit his job. They got a divorce. TUF divorced his wife. Meanwhile, the first rumored affair woman had a baby. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE asked the obvious question: Was it her husband's or The Ultimate Fuckwit's?

My new boss and TUF moved in together, bringing all 4 of their combined children with them. A few months later, he left her and resumed relations with the first woman. Seriously. This man grew up a Nerd, and now he works in a profession dominated by women, and he seems to be making up for lost time.

Flash forward 1.5 years. I no longer work with this company. He is still at his job. And he has his sights set on a newcomer, a poor, innocent newcomer. New in town, who knows nothing of his reputation, and thinks he is just a nice guy who is willing to show her around town. She also happens to be my friend Penelope's new supervisor. Penelope can't really say much to stop her, since this woman writes her reviews. As we sat there last night, another friend said, "I want nothing more than to cockblock him."

That's where I come in. I don't work for this company anymore. His prey is new to town, and in need of a yoga partner. Penelope is going to set up a friend date for the two of us. At some point, I'll talk about my time working for him and how scandalous everything was, feigning innocence at her current relationship with him. From there, it's up to her, but she has to know that everyone she works with knows exactly what's going on when they see the two of them talking to her. Operation Cockblock is about to commence...