WWBD: Birthday Edition!!

My cousin (a fellow singleton) turned 30 a couple of months ago. She told me later that she cried after opening her first birthday card. Getting older seems to be more depressing for us singletons than smug marrieds. However we all get older (except for my Grandma who is 39) so we have to accept this and stay strong. You may ask "What would Bridget do on her birthday?" Well here is a step by step guide.

1. Wait "patiently" for a gift/card from her imaginary boyfriend.
2. Check to see if card got misplaced (perhaps under a doormat).
3. Talk to neighbors to see if they mistakenly got her mail.
4. Call an emergency meeting with her singleton friends at a bar to discuss her fuckwit "boyfriend" forgetting her birthday.
5. Get drunk.
6. Declare that she is a woman of substance, complete without boyfriend.
7. Hoorah for Singletons!!
8. Sing "All by myself" on the floor of bathroom while worrying about her spinsterhood rapidly approaching.

Hopefully your birthday ends better than Bridget's this year!! Please follow steps 6 and 7 (and also step 4 if necessary)...your therapist would likely not approve of the other steps.