Birthday Bliss to Nearly Dismissed

Ah, yes. The Birthday.

This year got off to a particularly great start. First of all, for the first time in memory, I did not wake up alone. Unless, of course, you count two years ago when I woke up on the bottom bunk in a Buenos Aires hostel, with Fenella on the top bunk, and a hairy Frenchman in the next bed. No hairy Frenchman this year, just the cute neighbor to say "Happy Birthday!" when the alarm went off. Not only that, but I did get birthday booty before the sun had properly come up. Excellent start.

The cute neighbor took me out for dinner. He showed up with flowers, a bit of a surprise since flowers don't seem to be much of his style, and a present. (A book I mentioned weeks ago and had actually forgotten the title of, but wished I had remembered so I could have told someone to get it for me for my birthday. Problem solved!) Dinner was by far the nicest I've ever been treated to. One of the nicest restaurants in town, and we went all out: bottle of wine, appetizer, tapas, and dessert. Everything was delicious. Then out to meet friends for drinks, then home for more birthday booty. Perfect.

Then on Sunday, we very nearly broke up.

Here is the Cliff's Notes version of what happened, with a bit of back story first. The Cute Neighbor's job is moving next summer. Therefore, the cute neighbor is moving next summer. There is really no way he is going to find a job doing what he wants to do here. I've always known this; he found out about this before we even started dating. Therefore, I've always had the attitude of "we'll see what happens" regarding our relationship. We'll do our thing until he leaves, or until we can't stand the sight of each other. Then when it's time, we'll have a decision to make. If we want to make it work, we'll figure something out. If we don't, we'll cut our losses and move on. In my opinion, this isn't much different from other relationships, since there are never any guarantees.

Unfortunately, the cute neighbor seems to think I already have our childrens' names picked out. Yes, I realize I'm baby crazy, but believe it or not, I don't have names picked out for my future children. Seriously. Nor do I have a wedding all planned out and am just looking for a groom. I can actually see why the cute neighbor thinks this, and it's my fault, but also the economy's fault. Once I stopped working for Eloise, I was suddenly home in the middle of the afternoon. It gets a bit lonely, and by the end of the work day, I'm hungry for some human interaction. So of course, I found myself texting the cute neighbor far too often, and looking for a dinner companion immediately after he got home from a full day at work. I will admit, I was a bit needy. And if there's one thing I'm not, it's needy. I'm happy to say, that while I STILL don't have a full-time job, I've gotten much better in the last month, since I've been volunteering, and have a weekly Monday Night Walk scheduled with a new friend. Seriously, those two little things have made a big difference.

Back to Sunday, it was a bit scary, as I sat on the cute neighbor's couch as we discussed "our situation". As things got serious, I looked down and realized I was only wearing a t-shirt and underwear. I quickly jumped up, ran back to his bedroom, and threw my shorts on. There was no way I was going to be dumped wearing just my underwear AGAIN.

I didn't get dumped, but we left things up in the air for the better part of the day as we went our separate ways. When we reconvened, I explained to the cute neighbor that what he thinks my expectations are and what they actually are, are two different things. Never have I asked him for a house and a dog and 2.3 children. Yes, I'm really, really into him, but I'm very, very aware of the reality of the situation. He said he just didn't want me to be hurt and disappointed in June when he has to move. I told him in all honesty I would be more hurt and disappointed if he just decided to end things now without seeing where they would lead. And that's where things stand. Taking everything one day at a time. Which is what I thought we were doing all along.

Geesh, relationships are hard work. Maybe meaningless, casual sex is the way to go?