Sexual Frustrations

Dating Myth #1: When one has an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND, life is simply shag, shag, shag all the time. Sex is available on demand, whenever, wherever.

Ha! Maybe in the early days. Then real life kicks in. Or worse, allergy season. I was pretty sure when I started being extra neighborly with the cute neighbor, that my days of sexual frustration were over. Unfortunately, there were a few things I forgot to factor in.

Sexual roadblock 1: Allergies. The cute neighbor has bad fall allergies. Seriously, the man will sneeze every 30 seconds for 5-10 minutes, (it actually gets pretty annoying) until he takes a meth pill. The meth pill (you know, what they make meth out of) makes him super jittery, thirsty, and not at all hungry. No wonder meth addicts are so skinny. At night, he needs to take a night-time pill, which knocks him right out. Not ideal for getting down to business. In the morning, just as I'm about to put the moves on, he'll beat me to the punch by saying, "I have to get up and take a pill. The snot is pooling in the back of my throat."

Mmmm. Sexy.

Sexual roadblock 2: An actual job. I don't have an actual job. I do not have deadlines. Nor do I have any stress. (Well, except the kind that comes from a nearly empty bank account.) The cute neighbor does. Right now, he's really, really busy. There are an awful lot of scientific codes that I don't understand that need to be cracked. He actually needs to get out of bed and get to work if he wants to have a career. I wonder what having a career as motivation is actually like and very much look forward to the day when I have one.

The good news is, it rained early this week, bringing in a change of weather. Ragweed count is waaaaay down. There is hope for the weekend. Fingers crossed!