Grayer mentioned in her last post that she recently had a breakthrough with our mother. The breakthrough came in the form of her actually saying to me on Sunday, "So, I'm supposed to ask you: How's your love life?" She asked, for the first time ever. (I'm well out of adolescence by this point, too.) Grayer and I had a few theories as to why she suddenly stepped up and asked (besides the fact that Gray told her if she wanted to know things, she needs to ask), one obviously being that we're not getting any younger. But I think the reason she asked had to do with our latest cell phone bill.
Last month, it seems Grayer and I were a bit out of control with the phones. Grayer went over her text limit, I went over my minutes. I have no idea how that happened, though, since I can talk to Scarlet for free and Highlander was never that interesting to talk to, let alone on the phone. Mom sent us a nice email informing us how much we owed her. I responded with the following:
Something to take into consideration: If you and dad want grandchildren (and I suspect you do), it would be wise of you to invest in our cell phone expenses. I don't know how things went down back in the day, but these days, it is literally impossible to date without texting, etc. Unless, of course, I were to date a federal inmate, but luckily, thanks to your EXEMPLARY parenting skills, I have much higher standards and no desire to do so. Just something to think about
That may sound like I was being my usual cheeky self, but I wasn't. I was being very, very serious. And I believe they took me seriously, since the next thing I knew, my dad was calling from the Verizon store, going over all the options to upgrade our family plan. Seriously, if parents are worried about their spinster daughters living out their days as spinsters, the best thing to do is invest in their phone plan. There is really no way to snag Mr. Right without unlimited texts.
I believe it was this email that prompted mom to stick her nose into Gray's and my love lives, as it was evidence that we apparently were dating. She has always been notoriously non-evasive, which isn't always a bad thing, but got to the point of ridiculousness. Take this for example: instead of asking Grayer if she was seeing anyone, while giving her a good-bye hug, our mom asked her, "Is anyone else hugging you?" It's an incident that lives on in family infamy. At least between us it does.
But hey, at least she's not running around with a Portuguese tour operator who carries a gentleman's hand bag.
2 comments:
I wish my mom was more like yours! Mine is far too nosey and intrusive but she's also very old-fashioned and prudish. How is that a good combination when you want to know about your daughter's love life??
Hahahaha Oh the Hugging Incident of '08. Of course I could only giggle a response, but yes someone was hugging me! The only way our parents have learned about our lives is by asking Vi about me, and me about Vi. It's ridiculous. But, I think they did that so that we would never feel pressured to be in a relationship. And obviously, as we are happy singletons most of the time, they're parenting has worked.
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