They say the grass is always greener on the other side. If you have curly hair, you want straight hair, if you order something in a restaurant what your dining partner orders inevitably looks nicer and if you are single there are times when you just don't want to be.
What people fail to focus more on however, is how those people in a relationship have fleeting moments of fancy when they don't want to living in domestic bliss, choosing china patterns and having dinner parties oh no, they want to be living up the single life.
Enter Fen.
I'm not quite sure what is going on but suddenly I have become the singleton that smug marrieds want to live vicariously through. Case in point: my friend who has recently got engaged and my housemate who is all coupled up with one of my other housemates (I have a lot of housemates). The two of them love hearing about my adventures in the dating world (online dating) and how I try to make my working life that little bit more interesting (PWG). Why? I do not know. My dating life is really not that exciting. And, although I'm flattered by their interest I am starting to feel the pressure.
I am not a performing monkey OK? As much as I wish I could snap my fingers and a Mr Darcy or even a Daniel Cleaver type would appear, I cannot. The PWG thing is still keeping them amused but I don't know where that's heading and what if they get bored and want to hear about someone new?
So, Vi, as much as I am delighted that you now have an ACTUAL boyfriend (I still take a lot of credit for this) I'm begging you, please don't now live vicariously through my single life. A dry spell can happen at any time.
And I just can't take the pressure.
4 comments:
Don't think of it as being pressure. Think of it as being an excuse to releasing the slut from within. You have the good singleton name to live up to ya know, so man up and get some action!
And if they are not vicarious vultures, then they will just be their worst. All smug. And all married. And no one wants to live through that. And my first threat still stands, if Violet becomes a smug married, I will take my Bunsen burner to her eyebrows until all the smugness is singed away. (FYI smugness smells when it burns).
Remember Grayer, if Vi gets smug I take the left eyebrow and you take the right (or maybe it was the other way round).
You're right though, I can use this as an excuse to release the slut from within. I just don't know where to find new um, prospects?
My coworkers (all older, all married, all parents) admit that they like to live vicariously through me and the crazy social life that comes along with being young and single.
Why does everyone think I'm going to become a smug married? Believe it or not, there was a time when I was part of an ACTUAL couple, and we were not of the smug married variety. Scarlet can attest to that. And I don't see why I would feel the need to live vicariously through single people. We'll still go out and tell crazy stories to strangers. Not much will change.
Yes, I can verify that Vi was not a smug married in college when she had a long term boyfriend. Although, Vi's current relationship definitely sounds more steamy the one I observed in college.
Fen, I thought you gave up online dating after the first guy you went out with. Did I miss something?
I don't think my non-single friends who want to hear about my dating life actually want to BE single. I think they just consider it entertaining.
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