Leave LiLo out of this!

Another great date with Jonny Damon this weekend including a brewery tour, him fixing my car (I asked him to take his shirt off but with it only being 50 degrees out, he declined) and watching horror movies on the couch.  Oh, and making out, a lot of making out.  Such great dates don't really make me want to meet more guys but I thought I would share this one with you.  Here are some snippets of OkCupid conversation from Mr. Grassroots.  His use of big words while sucking up to me really makes me want to date him *eyeroll.

Hey,

I was really captivated by your enthusiasm for biology. "Enthusiasm" in the sense that I mentioned I did research in Molecular biology. Most specifically, it's pretty noble that your accrued knowledge will be transferred to others through your fervor for teaching. Saying that I eventually wanted to teach with my "accrued knowledge" apparently indicated "fervor".

I'm really into politics, but no so much domestic affairs Yawn. I'm more into political theory, the roots of international crises, and security. Snore.  Sometimes it can be a lot to digest but it has really been enlightening, and has engendered in me a new perspective on the world. Wait what did he say about being engendered?

I had to break it to him straight out, I'm not into politics.  Especially not the theory of politics, because I don't really know what that means.  Oh, well I think I can get along with the fact you aren't particularly into politics. Good.  After all, it might prevent a few potential debates. True. Plus, it paves the way for something else to discuss, whatever that may be. Absolutely. Like Lindsay Lohan. Wait, What? I have never seen the show, Glee. I have heard so many things about it. Huh?


So this week, I'm pretty much filled with interviews, but you seem like such a nice genuine person, that I can't help but ask if you'd like to exchange phone numbers. ....What the fuck?

Now I know you are all thinking two things.  1.  What a condescending asshole! Just because one doesn't like politics doesn't mean one cannot hold an intelligent conversation, thus resorting to discussing if Lindsey Lohan is or is not in rehab/jail/Herbie Fully Loaded II.  and 2.  Please please please go on a date with this man!  I know, that's what I thought too.  So I responded, "Yeah! I love Glee!  My number is ..."  He texted me within two hours.

I had great plans of reading up on Star magazine to have several talking points over drinks with Mr. Grassroots, but I got cold feet.  Not because he seems like an ass, that would make a good story.  I got cold feet because I feel like he could easily be a serial killer.  Behind all those big words and political jargon, he seems really, really intense.  And somewhat crazy.  So I stopped responding to his texts.  Because in jail or not, not even Lindsey would date a serial killer.