I’ve been dating The Engineer for about a month now and things seem to be going well. I admit that I had a brief commitment phobic setback last week following an uncomfortable conversation in which he asked me about my past relationships. I changed the subject…while I don’t really have anything to hide, I wasn’t prepared to have that conversation yet and especially not in a public place. When we do have that conversation I will have to admit that, while I have dated, I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I feel this is a bit out of the norm for a girl in her mid-twenties and I’m somewhat self-conscious about it. Is it possible for the lack of relationship baggage to be just as weighty? Afterward, I found myself questioning whether I’m really into him or if my interest is partly related to my three year drought. I have since recovered from this setback and decided that it was likely more related to my fear of entering into unknown territory than my interest in The Engineer.
As part of the same conversation The Engineer very hesitantly and awkwardly asked me if I was bothered by our age difference. (He is about four years older than me.) Considering that I knew his age before I met him, I thought the answer was kind of obvious but I assuaged his concerns. As a result of this conversation, I learned that his birthday is this month. Which of course raises the question, do I get him a gift? If so what is an appropriate gift to give someone you have only been dating a month? What would Bridget do? I was thinking about getting him a movie that we talked about and we both want to see. I would welcome any advice.
2 comments:
I had a similar issue with The Heavy Breather, when his birthday rolled around very early in the courtship. I would advise against a movie. Go with food, you can't lose. Cupcakes, cookies, creme brule, or do as I did and bake a cake. (And before you accuse me of setting the women's movement back a few decades, it wasn't a fancy cake.) It's also not a bad idea to go with an inside joke the two you have, if you have one. For example, a month later on my birthday, The Heavy Breather presented me with a bag of pineapple gummi bears (and a book). Don't ask me why, but we had a joke about pineapple gummi bears.
This is a tough, awkward stage so I don't blame you for fretting. Since you've only been dating for a month, with only a handful of dates, you really don't know him enough to warrant a real gift. I agree with a gesture instead. Maybe some birthday brownies. An actual gift might make you come on too strong, whereas brownies is just something you whipped up (and maybe was making for a separate occasion and decided to share).
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