You know all those people you see doing crazy things while driving? Like putting on their make-up or reading a book, or texting? (I saw someone texting and driving the other day; it made me so mad.) Well, I've got one that will top them all. While driving home from work today on a major interstate, in broad daylight, I noticed the man behind me in my rearview mirror was clearly masturbating. How do I know? His hands were most definitely not at the 10 and 2 position if you know what I mean, and his left (he's a lefty!) arm was involved in some very vigorous action. There's really only one thing he could have been doing.
It was like a train wreck. I wanted to look away, and I had to look away as I was driving at 70mph and did not want to die in a firey car wreck, all thanks to a driving masturbater. Was he listening to something saucy on the radio? Perhaps an erotic audio book? Or does he just get off on weaving in and out of traffic? Luckily, the world may never know...
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