The quest: The official report

Introduction
I've said it before and I'll say it again, as a scientist, hot colleagues are few and far between. I'm not saying we're bad-looking, I'm just saying years in the lab have made us a little more pale, out of shape and socially awkward. As Violet pointed out, "hot scientist" sounds like an oxymoron, just like "interesting accountant" or "ugly quarterback." Biologists aren't too bad, but I've noticed in my years of science that those that study life science (that's me) are far better off than those that don't (Don't even get me started the pale/awkwardness of chemists and physicists, yuck!).
Honestly most people in this field are decent looking but none of them have the classic Whoa-that-guy-is-so-hot-I-don't-even-need-a-Punnit-square-to-determine-the-likelihood-of-our-children-being-hot! (commonly referred to as the "Whoa factor") good looks (what doesn't everyone think like that?). So many creatures in the scientific field lack this Whoa factor, that it leads experts (me) to ponder it's existence. This brings us to The Quest. The purpose of this study was not to meet and live happily after with this proposed model of a Hot Scientist, but to merely prove that they do, in fact, exist.

Methods and Materials
This was an observational study conducted on an aclectic gathering of scientific communities over the course of 7 days. To determine hotness, subjects of interest were thouroughly "checked out" by performing a complete characterization without making direct contact. Subjects were evaluated qualitatively based on face, hair, body, clothing, overall appearance/awkwardness and credentials. A generous (and borderline embarassing) amount of time was given to making these assessments.

Results
In a gathering of approximately 320 participants, 90% were estimated to be married. The Whoa Factor was not present in the population, though several males achieved an above average rating of "I'd date him." The Hot Scientist remains elusive. Severe head-turning was found in the college downtown area. Though these men presumably were not scientists, they were so hot that a permanent move into the area is under further consideration by researchers (me).

Discussion
Though results were disappointing, findings in this study indicate great potential in this field. Within my conference I checked out several good-looking men, my age, who were not completely socially awkward. Though they lacked the Whoa Factor, I'd be more likely to date them than a true Hot Scientist. The fact that these above average looking men exists greatly increases the chances that the elusive Hot Scientist exists as well, I just need to attend a larger meeting. I would say I remain hopeful for further studies, though one of my greatest professors once corrected me with this by saying, "there's no hope in science!"
This week has made me wonder if I really want to date a scientist at all. Some of them can just not turn off the science talk (what a drag!). Besides, as a student of "science school" (as HOG and MF call it) I can say just about anything that sounds remotely scientific and people will believe me. And that can be pretty darn fun.