Making Up The Numbers

Last week my friend invited me out to dinner with her, her fiancee, friends of hers who are also getting married next year and her other friend Edward. Before you get thinking my friend was trying to be sly and set me up with someone I should make you all aware of a few things:

1. Edward lives in the middle east
2. He has recently broken up with his girlfriend
3. When I say break up I mean break up, they were engaged, had set a date for the wedding and people had booked tickets to fly over for it. To New Zealand.

Oh no, I wasn't being set up, I was there to make up numbers, to make sure that Edward didn't feel uncomfortable surrounded by two loved-up couples. Forget Edward feeling uncomfortable, what about me?!

Things didn't get off to a great start, he was over an hour late and we were all hungry. By the time he did show up he was wasted. Absolutely plastered/pissed/very, very drunk. And this guy is 6"7, not an easy task I should think.

While we were at dinner the talk of the table was weddings. All about weddings. At one point the other bride said to my friend, another bride: "I can't imagine spending £10,000 on a wedding." My friend replied: "Oh I totally agree." I almost choked on my chicken. I happen to know that both sets of parents are contributing £10,000 to my friend's wedding fund. So maybe my friend was telling the truth, she can't imagine spending £10,000 on a wedding, but she can imagine spending £20,000.

Both myself and Edward were swiftly losing the will to live. Then my friend starts grilling him about his ex and how the break up went and did he keep the ring? I asked if he wanted me to change the subject. I have never seen anyone look so gratefully at me. Of course all I could think to ask was whether they had Glee in the middle east. They do.

I fear this has what it has come to. Surrounded by soon-to-be smug marrieds whilst desperately trying to steer the conversation away from weddings because it's upsetting the jilted drunk groom.

And might I just say, I am pretty damn good at it. And it's all down to Glee.