Playing second

I've come to the conclusion that I will hardly ever see Hanging Out Guy again. We've never agreed to be exclusive, and he is definitely seeing other people. They're not younger or sexier, but they entertain him for hours on end. He loves them unconditionally though they will never love him back. Hanging Out Guy is a Red Sox fan.

This is not a new concept. I myself am a sports fan (although I never watch due to lack of cable) and I've witnessed his love of the Celtics and Bruins as well. But the Red Sox are different. If you've never met a Sox fan, realize that this is something straight out of Fever Pitch. (Minus inheriting seats at Fenway and only half the bedroom paraphelnalia). We start seeing each other over the offseason, but on opening day, bam! He's a changed man. Suddenly he can't do anything if there's a game on (which there usually is).

I'm not giving up on him. I happen to enjoy baseball as well. He's invited me over to watch games and we've also played with the idea of spending a small fortune to catch a game at Fenway (though we're very careful when speaking of the future). Don't be surprised if I'm an absolute expert before the All star break, I live in Red Sox Nation afterall.

Violet and I have a theory that you can tell a lot about a man from his favorite baseball team. In honor of the new season, here is what a man's team says about him:

Atlanta Braves: His best years are probably behind him.
Baltimore Orioles: When he is at a stand still, and can’t quite get that promotion, he will simply blame it on the other people above him, instead of taking steps to improve himself. Then, when that young, upstart executive shoots past him to the top, he will be left looking like an idiot.
Boston Red Sox: Capable of having a passion (i.e. obsession) for something bigger than himself. You won’t see him from April- October, so good luck.
Chicago Cubs: He’s SUCH A LOSER, but for some reason you can’t quite put your finger on, you love him anyway and refuse to give up on him.
Chicago White Sox: Manages to accomplish a lot more than his colleagues with only a fraction of the attention or the credit.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: Indecisive. Will probably try to change the names of your future children more than once.
Minnesota Twins: Hard-working, blue collar guy who lives life the right way. Good catch.
New York Mets: Won’t be able to close the deal, if you know what I mean.
New York Yankees: If Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort, or even Satan himself is your type, by all means.
Philadelphia Phillies: Just beware of flying objects (particularly batteries).
Tampa Bay Rays: Has only been a baseball fan since 2008, so he is as much of a fraud as you.
Toronto Blue Jays: See Baltimore Orioles.