Here Comes The Bride(zillas)....

I have a friend who is engaged. It's wedding fever people.

This weekend she invited me and her other bridesmaid to a wedding fair. It was an...interesting experience. There were crazy brides everywhere. Remember that episode of Friends where they go wedding dress shopping at that outlet in Brooklyn? Brooklyn's got nothing on this.

There were flower stalls, cake stalls (which had free cake, I made those my priority) tux stalls, you name it, they had it. You could have a chat about getting married in Italy, the Maldives, or for something a little bit different, Croatia. Couldn't think of what to do for your hen night? Then go visit the 'Ladyboys' stall and have a chat to the topless (but unfortunately not very attractive) male dancers / strippers. But wait! What if it all goes wrong and you end of jilted at the alter?? Well then, you really should visit the wedding insurance stall. Want something a little different? Hire a photo booth for your guests. It's only about £500. For 3 hours.

My two personal favourites? The wedding singer stalls - who sang as you walked by. Where's Simon Cowell when you need him? And, the 'Bridal Confidence' stall. Not sure how to be the confident bride? Come along to our hourly sessions where we teach you, amongst others:

* How to walk in heels
* How to be organised before your big day
and
* How to keep cool, calm and collected on The Day

Then, of course, were, The Dresses. Stall after stall of wedding dresses. Women squabbling for space to go through the racks, looking for The Dress. I was a little bit scared, I'm not going to lie. You had women and their friends debating over every sequin, every ruffle and whether The Dress would look better with a veil or a tiara.

To conclude, this weekend has made me somewhat scared of ever getting married. I don't want to deal with decisions about veils and tiaras, colour schemes, flowers or place settings. The only decisions I feel remotely capable of making is whether to choose between wine or vodka, and even then I sometimes struggle.

But the best moment of the day? One of the (few) grooms there saying to his fiancee: "Just let me know when you get tired and we can go." Thought it was supposed to be the other way round...?