Year in Resolutions: Violet

It has been nearly a year since we made our New Year's Resolutions, so before we make our resolutions for 2010, it seems fitting that we critique our 2009 performance.


I will...

-get a job. A real one, with health insurance. (Preferably in the first two months of the year.) While I am still woefully underemployed (damn you, recession!), I do have a job. That almost pays for health insurance. Massive improvement from this time last year though, so that counts for something. 15 points.

-buy new underwear, as has been so long since anyone saw my underwear, it is probably all out of style. Definitely bought plenty of new underwear. And more than one person saw them. 80 points.

-find a way to tame the frizzies in my hair. Thanks to Sunsilk "captivating curls" conditioner and leave-in creme, I did pretty well with this one. Get Hairapy! 25 points.

-say yes to all date offers, no matter what my initial opinion of the offerer. Based on the array of men I went out with this year, I have to say I did pretty well with this one. 67 points.

I will not..

-have any imaginary boyfriend, but instead form a functional, two-sided relationship with a real member of the opposite sex (therefore having a purpose for the new knickers). While I couldn't quite get over the three-month hump (seriously, my relationships with both The Highlander and the Dark Horse were each dead after three months nearly to the day. What's up with that?), I did have somewhat functional and two-sided relationships, and I definitely had reasons for the new knickers, and that alone is worth at least 1,000 points. But better yet, I didn't just say no! to imaginary boyfriends, I said HELL NO! A bazillion points.

-Spend hours analyzing the body language and the "hidden meaning" in the words spoken by eligible bachelors with Scarlet, but instead find various other topics to spend hours talking about, like, um... politics? Um, well.... we did talk a lot about our employment woes, so I guess that's a bit of an improvement? 2 points.

-not get angry with mum when she asks me stupid questions like, "Have you changed your sheets lately?" as if I am an 8-year old incapable of taking care of myself, but instead use it as an opportunity to find my inner zen-like qualities

Done. Of course, moving 5 states away helps. 10 points.

-judge eligible bachelors by the number of tattoos or holes in their bodies, academic credentials, political beliefs, or their baseball team of choice, but rather be open and simply grit my teeth while they list all the reasons why Derek Jeter is a "true Yankee." And this is where I rocked the socks off my New Year's Resolutions. I dated and made out with men who have tattoos (hello John Boy and Dark Horse), attempted to date someone without a Bachelor's Degree (although he proved to be too stupid to work out, but hey, at least I tried, Highlander!), and even looked the other way when I found out they voted for George W., and some more than once. And the topper: I dated a divorced, single dad. Challenging, yes, but definitely worth it. 8,372 points.

Total points: Infinite. v.g.

Excellent progress.